Eternal Mourning
by RainbowVaneza
Summary: Mitchie's life is nowhere near perfect, it's actually the opposite. As tragedy strikes, her life spirals out of control. After being sent away, she meets her roommate, will she let Alex into her life? Would both teenagers be able to overcome their religious parents and find themselves in one another? Malex/Demena. A/U More info on the bottom A/N in chapter1. Drama/Hurt&Comfort/Love
1. My Nightingale

**_A/N: So I have decided to post my new story even though I still have another one on the side. However since I will be writing this and Complicated Love at the same time, I will unfortunately only be able to post a chapter every week for this story. _**

**_Anyways this is a different direction that I've been wanting to take for a while, yes it will be an Alex and Mitchie love story, but this story will not be rushed what so ever. My idea is to show their friendship first develop and then enter the madness of feelings. _**

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot._**

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**_Anything that is italicized will be either quotes or flashbacks. So keep that in mind since flashbacks will be a big deal for this story throughout the whole plot._**

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_"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."_

_-Marilyn Monroe_

That has to be one of my favorite quotes of all time. However, one day I wish I can have the same beliefs as Marilyn did. To many bad things happen to good people, I'm not saying I'm a virtuous girl but I don't know what I've done to end up in such a bad place in this world. Until I find the sun shining through my own personal darkness, will I believe that everything happens for a reason.

There's nothing good in my life worth fighting for. It's one disaster after another, evolving into my life, not letting me go. They say you always have an angel watching over you, thing is I lost mine a while back. Instead of a good spirit that will lead the way, I have an evil force, dragging me down each day. I use to try to fight back but I reached a point where I just gave up. I don't resist anymore, my weakness overcomes me, and I find no more strength inside.

I guess you can say I use to be a typical teenage girl, went out with friends, enjoyed being with family, and went to church regularly. If someone asks me to pin point where it all went down, I can't quite answer that. It wasn't a matter of time where everything came crashing down but instead a dramatic effect in life took place. Maybe not for my parents, maybe not for fellow students, but for me, it practically killed me.

At first I tried to get passed it but slowly, life was getting sucked out of me. Unknowingly, this took on a big part of my life, every hour, every day, you could tell I was getting worse. They tried to ignore it but finally reached a point of revelation. I needed help, I need help. I knew it meant so much to me, but not until I was degrading that I realized it was more important than I ever thought it would be.

Actually I lied, I wasn't that much of a typical teenager. People call me antisocial, but in reality I just didn't enjoy wasting my time on ignorant, immature classmates. That was until I met a specific person, someone who took time out of their hand to approach me and actually have a conversation with me. In school I was an outcast, I still am. That person became my best friend. Shane. Ever since we met in 5th grade, we became inseparable. He was my other half, he knew everything about me and vice versa.

Our parents always use to say we would end up together in the future, but it was never like that. People never believe that a girl and a guy can be best friends without having feelings for each other, I laugh at that opinion. Our friendship was the type that everyone wished for, we cared for each other, he was always my protector. Kind of like a brother and sister relationship.

He helped me survive middle school, I always thought elementary was bad but once I reached middle school, I completely changed my mind. I never understood why my classmates use to bully me. It's not like I got involved in their lives, or created drama. I secluded myself as much as possible but it still happened. I've heard rumors about myself, they honestly did hurt me. But at that time I was a fighter. Not alone though, Shane was always there right next to me. Would always confront each individual person who taunted me, he was amazing. A lot of people said I got bullied because I was Shane's best friend.

Shane was a popular kid, but not voluntarily. Everyone just knew of him, he was an outgoing, caring, and drama free character. And he was actually very handsome, every girl wanted to be with him, every guy wanted to hang out with him. But it was weird that I never felt such attraction to him, I think of myself as asexual. Because what kind of person wouldn't fall for him, he was the ideal guy that your parents would want you to marry. I was young though so I never thought much of it back then.

One thing that really made me appreciate such human being is that whenever a girl would ask him out or a guy would want to hang out, he will always deny their offer. Instead of living a typical adolescence life, he use to always be with me, would prefer spending time with me than any other person in the world. I assume that's why no one liked me, they were probably jealous that his whole day was spent on me. I never understood why, and how I got so lucky to have had him in my life. He was my angel. He was my reason to wake up to the gleaming sun on my face, even to the light rain that may have been associated with thunder. Every day on Earth was amazing because of him. He was my reason to show up to school every single day and stand up to the bullies.

He would never miss a day of school, because he was always so scared of leaving me in class all alone, unprotected. Even when he was sick he would come, unless it was a pretty bad flu that he was forced to stay home, he wouldn't let me go to school. Our parents never understood our connection, they would always assume that we liked each other but it was never that. It actually amazed me, that I was blessed with such friendship. He was my nightingale.

With him by my side, I grew up as the perfect daughter to my parents. Although I was a loner, I was excellent in school and they were always so proud of me. I never enjoyed disappointing them, especially when it came to religion. Religion is a huge thing in my family, it's who they are. My surroundings were merely based on god's beliefs, not letting me have my own opinion. I never went against their custom, I just followed the flow. For me it was common to label yourself as a Christian, so I always attended church with my parents and sister. Though my opinion on the matter was never asked for, it's not like I went against their religion, it's just I wish I was able to create my own persona instead of them just imprinting it in my mind.

So that became a crisis in my life, I was always expected at high standards. No room for mistakes, because my parents never wanted to be embarrassed. So you can only imagine how they felt after they came to the conclusion that I was mentally unstable.

I wasn't always like this, this goes back to my old point, I transformed into a completely different person once I reached high school. It wasn't due to the presence of entering another environment but because the unexpected happened.

_I looked at my watch and noticed it was halfway through the day and I was extremely worried. Shane never missed class, especially so late in the school year, nor regretting to inform me. I walked in the lunchroom with my head down, avoiding everybody's gaze. I sit down not bothering to get anything to eat, just wanting the day to end already. God it's been like 10 hours without seeing Shane, and I'm already so lost without him. I had my head down on my arms, covering my eyes, until I feel someone touch my shoulders._

_"Are you Mitchie Torres?" A teacher asked me and I nodded. _

_"Your mom is here to pick you up." I didn't respond because my mom has never picked me up early before, it was out of the ordinary, like this whole day. I followed the teacher, leaving my school stuff in my locker since I didn't have any homework. As I walk into the front office to get signed out, I see my parents with teary eyes. As bewildered as I already was, I asked what's wrong. They didn't respond to me which angered me inside. _

_"Mom! What happened?" I semi yell, grabbing her attention. She opens her mouth and chokes out the two words I never wanted to hear in the same sentence. _

_"Shane's dead." She let out and I felt frozen. What is going on? Did I hear that right? After being silent for a while, my vision begins to blur up. By the second it keeps getting foggier, and I finally feel a tear fall from the corner of my eye. _

_"W-what?" I stuttered, not sure if my hearing is making me delusional. _

_"He committed suicide. Sweetheart I'm so sorry…" She finally said and a waterfall erupted from inside. _

_"You're lying!" I screamed at her and started to run. They have to be lying, why in the world would this happen. There was no reason to. I didn't know where I was running to, but I had to escape. I couldn't be there no longer. As my cheeks get puffier and my eyes get redder, I end up in front of Shane's house. And my disbeliefs get confirmed as I see police tape wrapped around the front patio of the house, blocking entrance and police cars swarming in and out of the area. Sirens filling the air. At that instance, I couldn't feel my body anymore, and I meet the ground. Falling backwards hitting my head, I could hear a cop yelling, his voice sounding closer and closer by the second, but next thing I know, the world went black. _

That was only the beginning of many crisis that I am facing in my horrible life. In that time forward, I evolved into someone unrecognizable. I scared my parents, as they tried to find some sort of cure to my dilemma. But there way of helping was simply praying. I wish it would have worked, I wish I didn't turn into the person that I've become, but sadly no benefit was gained. From that day on, I became a disgrace to my parents, as much as they said they loved me, I could see it in their eyes that they were embarrassed. Embarrassed with everything they had to face publicly in trying to get me help.

After so much trying and no success, I knew they gave up on me. They had to resolute to their last option, which was occurring just now. Sending me away to get "help". Personally I believe help would be like therapy or rehab but no, for religious parents it's sending me away to a Christian Boarding School…

My thoughts get disconnected when I feel the car come to a halt.

"Come on Mitchie, let's sign you in." I hear my mom say getting out of the car. I followed behind her, taking a while longer as my eyes meet the campus. It was pretty huge but still an average boarding school. My dad is carrying my bags while I enter the dorm building, trying to locate my room after I received my key. I finally find room 239, settling my bags on top of my bed. I noticed another bed on the other side of the room, with different color coverings compared to my dull white sheets. I assume that's my roommate's side of the room, I was kind of relieved that she wasn't here right now so it wouldn't have been awkward with my parents around.

I'm surprised this isn't an all-girls school, but then again the guys are in a whole different building, on the other side of the campus, well at least that's what I was told. My parents said their goodbyes and hugged me, I didn't say anything back. Ever since Shane passed away, I've spoken less than I have before. Traumatization didn't cause me to not talk, I still talk at times, it's just I'll only talk if it's necessary. However, after my parents made me upset when they said a specific thing months ago, I haven't said a word to them ever since.

"Get better. See you for Thanksgiving." My mom simply said while waving and finally exiting the dorm.

I start to unpack my luggage, even though there was a uniform dress code, we were still able to wear our own clothes whenever classes are finished. There's many things you can do at campus but there will always be a curfew, 10 pm on weekdays and 11pm on weekends. And if you wish to exit the campus like to go shopping or other activities, you will have to go with a specific group that they assigned you too at specific time of the day.

I finally finish placing my clothes in my closet and drawers when a girl walks inside. I didn't turn around to face her, my purpose wasn't to make friends, I just wanted to be alone. She spoke up when she noticed me.

"Oh hey, you must be my new roommate, I'm Alex" She says which causes me to turn around to face her. She has her hand out and I finally shake it.

"Mitchie." I simply said and turned back around. I guess she got the point and continued to do whatever she was going to do. I laid on my bed, putting on my headphones, pressing play on my IPod and closed my eyes.

_I start to regain conscious after hearing a few voices talking nearby. I hear my older sister's voice "She's waking up", I hear coming from her mouth and finally open my eyes._

_I blink trying to adjust to the brightness of the room, and I pull my hand up to my head, rubbing it as pain starts to course through my body. _

_"Mom?" I say lowly and I feel someone grab my hand. That's when I notice the small needle that entered one of my veins on my arm, connected to a machine. I was at a hospital. _

_"I'm here sweetheart. Don't worry." I heard my mom respond to me. _

_"What happened? How'd I end up on this bed? Where's Shane?" I ask trying to make sense of the situation. _

_"You fainted and one of the cops saw you, so he rushed you to the emergency room." She said while looking down. _

_"Why'd I faint? And you didn't answer my other question, where's Shane?" I ask quickly, realizing she avoided my last question. She doesn't respond and stays quiet for a couple of seconds, still not facing me. I was about to say something until I see her lift her head up and open her mouth. _

_"Darling, Shane's gone. He killed himself this morning..." She replies in an almost whispered voice. I felt my heart drop, slowing beating harder but slower. Hearing every thud that it made in my ears. Making me feel weak as tears started to emerge. It wasn't a dream. I really did just lose my best friend. I wanted to say something but my throat felt clogged up. Not willing to let out a simple word escape. My breathing became heavier and I was no longer in control of my body nor mind. That's when I lost my true self. When reality came tumbling down. _

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**_So what do you guys think? Should I continue writing it? Leave your inputs please(:_**

**_This chapter foreshadows many events that you guys will soon discover. As in different crisis that Mitchie had to face and still is. _**

**_You can say it'll be a depressing story, but what it's really about is Mitchie trying to find herself once again, and Alex willing to help her. It will be a sad story for the flashbacks that will occur, drama story with what Mitchie and Alex will encounter and a love story as two teenage girls that find their inner self amongst being together, no matter how forbidden it really is._**


	2. Nightmares

**_A/N: This chapter will answer a certain question that was left unfolded in the first chapter, regarding Mitchie's parents. _****_You will also be introduced more into Alex's life._**

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. _**

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**_I'm really happy to know you guys liked the first chapter, especially since it's a totally new approach from my other story. So thank you guys so much for the input(: And don't forget to check out Complicated Love if you haven't already, that's definitely a much happier story Lol_**

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_"It's getting late, say goodnight to Shane, Mitchie" My mom screamed from the kitchen thinking we couldn't hear her. _

_Me and Shane were playing video games, that use to always be our number one thing. Especially when it came to Resident Evil, together we were beast at it. We finished off the level we were on, and finally turned off the game console. That's when we noticed my mom came down, and we both had a smirk on our faces. _

_At the exact same time we fell into each other's arm and started fake crying. _

_"I'll miss you! I'll make sure I water your plants." He started saying jokingly_

_"I'll miss you too. Don't go! Who's going to be my partner in crime?" I joked back fake sobbing as he followed. _

_"Don't worry. One day we will find each other under the warm sun after war has been over. This won't be forever I promise." He says and I nod my head, agreeing with his opinion. _

_"Oh knock it off, you drama queens, you guys will see each other tomorrow in class" My mom interrupts our private moment, annoyed at how dramatic we are. We both laughed and hugged goodbye, for real this time. _

_"Mrs. Torres, I am offended. It is drama king. And 10 hours is too long!" Shane gasped while heading to the door and winking at my mom. We all laughed together, I went towards the door that he just exited from, making sure it was locked, and went straight to bed._

"Mitchie…. Mitchie wake up!" I get awoken from my roommate. I give her a confused look but at the same time a 'what do you want' look.

"You were tossing around, and kept mumbling a name that I couldn't recall. I just assume you were having a nightmare." She said after a while and I just nodded with a slight smile. She went back to her side of the room and I laid back down, facing the white ceiling.

Most people wouldn't consider a flashback as a nightmare, especially that specific one. But to me it was, that was the last time I spoke to Shane. That very next morning, the tragic news entered my ears. I just don't understand! I keep trying to reminiscence every single moment I had with him. But they were all fun and weird in a good way moments. At no time did I see Shane upset, he use to always have a smile on his face.

To me and to everyone his life was perfect, so why would he do such thing. What was his reason? And the worst part was that no one had a clue, or at least never wanted to tell me. There was no lead to the mystery that couldn't be unfolded. Not even a suicide note or a small text message saying I'll miss you, like those sad romance movies. It was all pure fiction! Those movies never show the reality of a teenager who commits suicide. How the family gets over it, how they find out it was homicide instead, it was all bullshit! There's no happy ending, never will be. Not for me and not for his parents. Where's our closure? I hate movies.

After I got out of the hospital, when the doctors finally released me after close inspection, I just kept wanting to just fall off my bed and wake up. Just to realize this nightmare is just that. A simple horrible nightmare that I'll be able to wake up to and breathe out in relief, seeing Shane right next to me. But it never happened, it was all a nonstop, upside down roller coaster. When your arms are dangling down, hair sticking out, and lose change falling out of your pocket, that's the moment when you start to get sick. You just want to get off and throw up, because that will make you feel better. But instead of that, all the twist and turns are still stuck inside, with no way out. That's how I'm feeling.

I continued to have hope, to find any outrageous way that he can be alive. I didn't care if my theories were one in a million, as long as there was small hope, I kept dreaming. But it all went away when my worst fear was finally realized. When it was time for his funeral. That's where my dreams were crushed, and I knew there wouldn't be a happily ever after ending.

_"Let's go, it's time." My dad said to me, waiting for my presence to exit the house and into the car. It was a sad day for everyone who knew Shane, especially for me. I didn't even want to talk that day, I wanted to pay as much respect silence can give. As we walk upon the green grass at the cemetery, we head towards the big tent that has the casket opened up front. Only a few feet away, I hear the loud cries coming from Mrs. Gray. I glance at her, seeing her looking down at her son, while her husband was holding her back. _

_Right away I looked down and away from them. I didn't want to cry, I knew if I did I wouldn't be able to stop. As much as it was killing me, I tried my hardest to mask my emotions. I didn't want to be vulnerable, not at this time, not when I know Shane won't be there to wipe away my tears and tell me everything will be okay. _

_It was my turn to go up to the casket, and I was scared. Frightened to see my best friend lifeless in a small grave. I walk up to him and see his pale face, eyes closed and arms crossed up front. I couldn't hold it in anymore, crying over took me, and I was about ready to just get on my knees and continue crying. Before matters could have gotten worse, I reach into my purse and take out his necklace. _

_We had matching best friend necklaces, with his having an M on the back and mine having an S. I was wearing mine and I vowed that I will never take it off. I placed his necklace next to his body and finally walked away. But not until I whispered my goodbye. "I'm going to miss you Shane, I love you." _

_Once that was done, I didn't pay attention to anything else being said at the funeral. I zoned out, trying to figure out how I'm going to live my life without him by my side. It was time for all of us to depart from the cemetery and I enter the car, with my parents starting the engine. It was a quiet ride until my mom decided to speak up, directing it more to my dad._

_"It's a shame, he was such a good kid and now he's going to hell. I can't believe he committed suicide." My mom said in an almost sorry tone. All my father did was nod, but I knew he agreed with her. I felt my blood boil inside me, as if I was going to explode. He just died and she still has the decency to damn him to hell._

_"Are you kidding me?! Shane died and all you care about is where he's supposedly heading. Nice." I yell at them and exit the car, heading inside my house and locking the door. That was the last time I spoke to my parents. _

They pissed me off so much that I never wanted to speak to them ever again. And till this day, 5 months later, I've yet to say a word to them.

I've been stuck here for over two weeks now, and I already hate it. Alex has tried talking to me in the room but I never gave in. I've said a few words here but only to the teachers. Leaving high school after getting severely bullied just to enter a new surrounding where it'll still occur, sucks. As much as the kids call themselves 'Christian', they're hypocrites. So far all that's happened, is me getting judged. Whispering in the background, knowing it's about me, still saying nasty things to me. I didn't really expect much from them, so it wasn't new to me what so ever.

Other than that, I knew only one person, well barely knew, Alex. I knew her last name was Russo and that she was in my same grade, but I also found out she has a boyfriend. I don't know how long they've been together but they seem happy. Always with each other in school, and one time he came to pick her up at her room and she introduced him to me.

He said his name was Mason, I can tell by his accent that he was British. He seemed like a caring guy, handsome too, but I still wasn't attracted to him. Alex seemed like a nice girl too but I'm just not in a good place right now. I'm not in the position of wanting friends, I just want to be alone.

_Alex's POV_

Have you ever gotten that feeling where you meet someone, and instantly want to become friends with them? Well I have. I don't understand why she's so distant, closed off. I just want to know more about her, it's weird. She doesn't seem to be having a good time here, a lot of the other students keep teasing her. I've heard rumors about her, but it's not like anyone here really knows her. So it's not like I listen to them.

I've tried studying her, as creepy as that may sound, how she interacts with everyone and just anything else that can give me a clue to who she is. What I have noticed is that she's not a well sleeper. Almost every night, I've heard her mumble underneath her breath, kicking the sheets, moving around. I'm surprised she hasn't fallen off the bed.

I've never met anyone who has as many nightmares as she does. Most of the time, her dreams are always followed by some name. I can't really decipher what she says, it kind of sounds like Shay, but I'm not sure. I've also noticed that she always wears a specific necklace, and never leaves the room without thick bracelets covering her wrists. It's probably a good luck charm or something.

It's time for lunch, and Mason walks next to me as we approach the counter, getting something to eat. We sit down at our normal table and he starts talking. I wish I can say I was actually paying attention but I wasn't. I was looking around the cafeteria and finally found Mitchie. She was seated down alone at a table. She had her head down and it didn't look like she was going to eat anything.

I brushed it off, it's not like I always eat the lunch food. Then I witness something hit her. It was paper balls that was getting thrown at her. She didn't even look up, as if she was already so use to it. I turn my head, looking for the direction that it came from. That's when I saw a group of kids laughing and glancing at her. The same people who kept teasing her in class. I felt bad, but it's not like I can really do anything.

"Babe? Hello.." I get brought back to reality when I see my boyfriend waving his hand in front of me, trying to get my attention.

"I'm sorry did you say something?" I let out, facing him. He let out a small laugh.

"Yeah I was telling you a story but I guess you had other things in mind. What are you thinking about?" He asks me worriedly.

"What do you know about the new girl? Since you help out at the front office." I said, hoping he had some kind of information.

"Mitchie?" He asks a little uncertain and I nod my head.

"Well um all I recall is that she had a rough time at her old high school and her parents live like 3 hours away from here, near Austin." He said, which didn't really help me.

"Oh ok. Well if you find anything else out, let me know alright?" He gave me a strange look in return.

"Why?"

"I don't know, I want to know more about her."

"Then why don't you go and talk to her." He said in the most obvious tone.

"Well why didn't I think of that before?" I responded sarcastically with a smile and he shook his head.

"She doesn't like talking. Or at least not to me." I continued and he just said 'oh'.

"Well I don't know, she seems kind of weird to me, out of the ordinary." He says while glancing at her and I just shrug.

"There's something about her that draws me in, it's boring to live in a school where everybody's the same. I think it's nice to have fresh personalities for once." I said and he looked back at me, raising an eyebrow, he was about to say something but thankfully he got interrupted.

The bell signaling that we had to get to our next class went off. Mason threw away my tray and walked me out the cafeteria. I lost sight of Mitchie but paid my attention back to where I was walking.

"Well, I'll see you later, bye" My boyfriend said as he gives me a quick kiss and heads the other way.

I've been with Mason for about 6 months. My parents love him, they always talk about how much of a good influence he is on me and how perfect he will be as their son in law in the future. I roll my eyes at their comments, but I don't know why. He is a great guy and all but I just don't feel spark, you know?

People talk about how falling in love is an amazing feeling, and that you never want to be away from that person. But I haven't felt that. I haven't felt that heart aching moment when I'm away from him, or the racing of my heart when I see him or when he kisses me. I don't feel anything.

I did like him, I kind of do, but not like how it used to be before. The only reason I'm still with him is because there really isn't a reason for us to break up, plus I don't want to disappoint my parents. Especially since I finally found a boyfriend that they 100 percent approve of. I don't know what to do, other than just staying with him.

Soon I hope I get to experience what love really is, and finally meet that one person I know I won't be able to live without. But time is the essence, so I have to be patient. I'm only sixteen, I have my whole life ahead of me. But presently, my goal is to try to build some sort of friendship with my roommate, as hard as it will be, I still want to.

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_**Hope you guys liked it(: So are you guys enjoying the new style of writing I'm taking upon for this story? **_

_**Reviews are greatly appreciated Lol **_

_**Expect a new chapter no later than next Saturday. Since I did post this chapter a little early, I'll try my fastest to update in less than a week. **_

_**For the next chapter, we will dive more into what has happened to Mitchie after Shane's funeral. Everything she began to face and also how Alex is still trying to become her friend. **_


	3. Pain

**_A/N: I am really proud on how this chapter turned out so hope you guys enjoy it(:_**

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot._**

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**_Guest - Thank you so much for the support(:_**

**_Pieri25 - Thank you(:_**

**_MileyJakes - Thanks(:_**

**_Pretty little fiction321 - Thank you so much! And you are amazing... Lmao I think that's an amazing idea that I'll most likely take you upon(: However it will take a while to dive into that aspect but I'll get there(; but on the bullying part, I'm still not sure. I agree on the looks but I guess I'll just have to see how this story progresses. But thank you for the awesome suggestion, I really appreciate it!_**

**_Suefanficlover - Thank you(:_**

**_Guest - Thank you!_**

**_ATotallyRandomAs - Lmfao you're lamee! This is going to be the first story I won't be able to give you clues on(; so don't go crazy xD_**

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_"There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds." _

_-Laurell K. Hamilton_

There's always that physical pain where you are screaming out in misery. At that moment every swear word enters your mind, mumbling, trying to find the perfect one to yell out that can represent your ache. For example, closing a door on your fingers, or breaking a bone in your body.

In those few severe minutes, you feel as if it was the worst pain you've ever gotten. You're balling your eyes out, waiting for your parents to help you heal. To take you to a hospital and wait till the doctor tells you you'll be okay. You believe it, because eventually the pain goes away. The doctor gives you painkillers or anything to lessen the discomfort.

Then you look back and let out a small smile. Trying to remember why you were just crying and how it felt, because it rapidly left your mind once you were cured. That is the difference between physical and emotional pain. It is temporarily short.

On the other hand, emotional torment isn't bearable. There is no medical cure. It won't last for a couple of minutes. Only time can ease it. Unlike physical, it doesn't hurt you in the outside, but instead devours you internally. But that's not the worst part, eventually after being so mentally tired and frustrated, along with emotional, you'll start to develop visible anguish.

It was two weeks after the funeral where you can say, the mess started. It didn't take long for me to reach my breaking point. I can still remember every little detail of that day. What was going through my mind, what I was feeling, every single thing each one of them said to me_. _

_I didn't care enough to dress up today, or do my hair, or cover my face and plaster on a smile. I felt comfortable with just a hoodie and sweatpants, but it didn't make my case any better. _

_Walking by the hallways, all eyes on you, like they haven't seen you in forever. Or surprised I'm not dead yet. Head down, I stroll right past them, ignoring each one of them, trying to get to class as quickly as I could. _

_I don't know why but for a split second I felt that being in the classroom would be better than being out in the open. I was wrong, maybe it was because of the teacher, or maybe I just wasn't thinking clearly. As I enter the semi full space, I spot an open seat. Walking towards it, not noticing until it was too late, some kid purposely bumped into me. Making me drop my books and papers, scattered all over the floor. _

_It didn't make it better with everyone just stepping on them, laughing. I didn't want to give them the satisfaction of breaking down in front of them. They deserved no such reward. I picked everything up and acted as if it didn't bother me one bit, but I guess that just made it worse. _

_I was able to handle physical abuse from them, I already got so use to it. It was verbal, that made me suffer more. No matter how much they've done it, I still was never able to process the sadness that entered me. But what made it more detrimental was when they brought him into the equation, into the oral invective that they threw at me. _

_It was continuous, they kept repeating it in my ears. Different people, different voices, same meaning. _

_"You killed him… He killed himself because he had to deal with you…" _

_It was a low blow, but low enough to actually get to me. I tried blocking it out. It only worked for the beginning of the day. It was until I reached lunch time, that my ears opened. The words flying from their mouth piercing my ears. I started to believe it. What if it was me? What if he was actually tired of me? What if I burdened him with my personal problems that he couldn't take it anymore? _

_I got out of the lunch chair, standing up and conclusively walking away. I didn't want to be here any longer. I wasn't strong enough to control myself. I exit the campus, not caring that I could get detention for ditching, not even looking around for school security. _

_After a twenty minute walk, I finally reached my house. No one was home, everyone was either at school or work. I went straight to my bedroom turning on my TV, trying to stop the agonizing taunting going on in my head. _

_The TV automatically turned on to the local news, before I had a chance to change it, I stopped myself, hearing my best friend's name departing from the anchor's mouth. _

_"It's been almost 3 weeks after catastrophe strike local family, as they witnessed the passing of their 15 year old boy Shane Gray, who took his life by over-dosing on prescription medicine. The cops have no lead as to why the teenager committed -" I turned off the TV and started crying. _

_Not only out of sadness, but of mixed emotions. I felt guilty, depressed, mournful, angry, worthless. I got off my bed and made my way to my bathroom. I wanted to take a hot shower but as I stood in front of the mirror, I noticed a blade. There was no time to think of anything except for the substance that was on my hand. There was nothing else to do. _

_I slide down the bathroom wall, knees right in front of me. Left arm laying on top of them with my right hand rising. Placing the sharp object on my skin, right below my palm. I take a deep breath, closing my eyes, hearing voices on top of voices in my head, "It's all your fault" "You disgust me" "Go kill yourself", as I exhale, I push force upon the blade, and drag it across my wrist._

That was the first time I ever harmed myself. I've heard so much about the activity. How it's supposed to make you feel better. That if you're smart enough not to go too deep, it was a way to deal with your hidden feelings.

I know what you guys are thinking, because I was once as skeptical as you guys probably are. Why cause more pain to yourself? How is that supposed to make you feel better? But believe it or not, it did.

They say people are stupid to cut themselves, I don't agree. No one has the right to opinionate on that matter if you've yet to experience it, well at least that's what I think. That is my temporary cure.

Gliding the serrated item across fresh skin. Feeling it penetrate your skin in a straight line. Tilting your head back as you sense the thin arc of blood rising from underneath.

When you're in so much internal pain, only physical pain can comfort it. The release that comes afterwards, is that small moment of forgetting reality. Although it only lasts for a couple of seconds, those seconds is what distinguishes reality from my dreams.

The pleasure that was received as the outcome, kept me intrigued. I didn't want to stop. It became a nasty but somewhat helpful habit. Almost a daily task. That's how I survived the rest of the ninth grade. And I managed to hide it, whether it was with make-up, accessories, or clothing, I still hid it from all the students, I became sneaky.

A teacher accidentally knocking into me, caused me to exit my thoughts. I had a free period right now so I wanted to go back to my room and just read. As I was walking down the hallway, away from my previous class, I notice Alex on the far end. I was only able to catch the back of the guy's head, but I directly knew she was with Mason.

At first they seemed to be just conversing but then I saw him lean into her. They didn't even appear to care that they were making out publicly. I didn't even know that I was just staring at them obviously with my mind somewhere else, until I see Alex right in front of me.

"Mitchiee… Helloo?" Alex starts snapping at me and I regain awareness. I respond with a confused look, trying to figure out what she wanted.

"Me and Mason are going to go get some ice cream, would you want to join us?" She asks with slight hope but almost right away I pressed my lips together and shook my head. I'm not good with people, especially with people I barely knew.

"Well alright, I guess I'll see you back at the dorm" She says with a small smile of disappointment, I didn't reply with another gesture but instead just walked away. Getting back on track to my destination.

I lifted my arm, reading the time on my watch. I still had 40 more minutes left until I had to get back to class. I continued to finish off the paragraph I was on in my book but looked away when I saw the door opening up.

"Knock, Knock" I heard my roommate say as she entered the room, which I found weird, since this was her room too.

"Hey, I brought you some ice cream, thought you would have changed your mind." She says with a caring smile. I placed my bookmark in between the pages I was on and closed it. Situating it on my night stand as I sat up on the edge. She walked up to me and handed me the closed cup with a plastic spoon on top. I gave her a smile of appreciation and reached for my purse to take out some money.

She grabbed my hand, stopping me, making me flinch a little at the unexpected contact.

"No, don't worry about it, it's on me." She said as she removed her hand from on top of mine. I didn't argue with her because that would have required me to say more than two words to her. But I knew I had to show her my gratitude.

"Thank you." I simply said which caught her off guard. It was the second time I actually said something to her. Her astonishment went away after a couple of seconds and then it turned into an expression I couldn't quite read.

"You're welcome" She responded and turned around laying on her bed.

Days passing, and the school situation is not getting any better. It's the same thing every day, I don't understand how kids can't get tired of picking on the same person all the time. Will they ever reach a point of boredom? I guess not.

As horrible school hours are, I can only find myself enjoying one part of it. Lunch time. Then again it's not like I ever eat during that period. It's the only moment where the bullying slightly lessens. It's not as bad as it is during class or in the hallways. Most likely because it's there time to talk with their friends, but for me, it's just my time to think.

There's not necessarily a specific topic I think about, it's whatever randomness that enters my mind. Sometimes it can be about a book, my family, my past, or even Shane. However, most of the time it's filled with dreams. Wondering how my life would have turned out if different scenarios took place.

It gives me that small hope that gets me through the day. Hope of one day having a better life, where for once I can be happy. Maybe even with someone that I'll be able to feel safe with, maybe even love. But that's never going to happen, I mean who can really be interested in me. Actually find me attractive. No one.

I'm just an outsider. I have brown hair that's never done, most of time it's in a messy pony tail. Sometimes covered with a beanie. No fashion sense, my closet is practically sweatpants and hoodies. I don't express my body, I rather have it hidden, I'm too ashamed. Converses fill up the bottom space of my closet, not high heels like normal girls. And you can forget about designer hand bags and sun glasses, I'm just not that type of girl.

Sadly my lunch time is about to end, meaning I have to go back to my hell hole. I stand up, pulling a strap from my book bag onto my right shoulder, having it half dangling off my body. I entered the building of where my class was located, strolling down the hallway, trying to move in a fast pace.

However, in a blink of an eye, I see myself falling to the ground. Tripping over some girl's foot, who purposely placed it right in front of me. While I tried lifting myself off the floor with my arms, I hear the girl and the other kids that were near, laughing at me. Momentarily I stayed in place, taking in the noises from everybody, feeling embarrassed as it is. The brunette was about to kick my stuff until she got interrupted.

"Hey! I think it's time for you to go back to your corner down the street, the middle aged men are becoming a little impatient" I hear someone from behind me say, at first I thought it was directed towards me, but as I heard everybody 'Ohh!' and laugh, the girl who tripped me spoke up.

"Excuse me? What did you just say?" She replied in a bitchy manner.

"You heard me, shouldn't you be sleeping around with some guy right now. Then again, you already slept with every guy on the football team, there's probably not anymore left." I turned around to see Alex insulting the chick, causing her to get furious from embarrassment after everyone who enclosed us, yelled out "Burnn!"

"Whatever Russo! Mitchie I think you need to learn to control your little bitch" The girl said and walked away. Then I saw Alex come up to me and help me pick up all my stuff that fell. She smiled at me, helping me up from the ground. That was the first time anyone stood up for me, I mean after Shane died. At that moment, I caught myself just looking at her. And I started seeing her differently, not as the random girl who tried talking to me, but the one I knew I would care for in the future. I sincerely smiled back at her as she continued to be by my side and walk me to my class. She's different, and I began to feel safe with her…

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_**What did you guys think? Leave your opinions or questions below(:**_

_**Spoiler: We've reached the point where Mitchie might actually give Alex a chance to be her friend. However, it doesn't mean she'll open up about her life. And being friends with Mitchie, will cause Alex to face some consequences in the future. Any guesses?**_


	4. Determined

**_A/N: Much more of Alex and Mitchie interaction here. This will be the start of developing their friendship, though drama still is around the corner._****_(;_**

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. _**

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**_Thank you guys for all the support I've been receiving(: I will respond to reviews in every other chapter, just in case you were wondering c(:_**

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_"It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop." _

_- Confucius _

Persistent. That is the definition of Alex Russo. When she sets her mind to something, she doesn't give up until she succeeds. I respect that but she's just so stubborn. Everybody can tell that I want to just be alone, but she doesn't, she looks right past it. These previous days she's practically been my body guard. Whenever she's around, no one dares to come near and insult me, they were intimidated by her. I did appreciate her presence, but I just don't know what she wants from me.

When she's by me I feel like she sees me as a lost vulnerable puppy that she's obligated to protect. I don't like that. I don't need protection. I can handle stuff on my own, I don't need anyone in my life to get by.

That moment where she actually stood up for me, I did have a small thought enter my mind. The thought of actually letting her enter my disaster of a life. But I know I can't. I don't want to burden her with my problems. I don't want to open up to her to just see her gone the next day or something. Disappointment has become a regular thing for me. I'm just scared. I've become so use to keeping everything inside that I'm not sure I'll ever be ready to let my secrets come out, especially to her.

"Heyy" I hear Alex say and I lift my head to see her sitting next to me at the lunch table. This was weird. She'd try talking to me during school every day but she'd never actually come over and accompany me. I give her a confused look, seeing how casually she's just eating her lunch beside me. I look up to see Mason at his regular table looking at Alex, obviously annoyed. Most likely with all the time Alex keeps wasting on me instead of him.

"Why are you sitting here?" I let out my first question to her. She looked up and smiled.

"What, I can't sit next to my roommate during lunch?" She said, continuing to eat her food. I just shrug, not knowing how to respond to her comment.

"So Mitchie, tell me about yourself" Alex suggested and I gave her an 'are you serious' look and she laughed.

"Or not. I forgot you don't enjoy talking." She continues and I nod my head in agreement, she sighs.

"Ok well then that's great cause now I need a listener. So like my friend begged me to let her borrow these pairs of shoes, they were my favorite, I kept saying no but she kept insisting. I reached a point where I gave in and finally let her borrow it. Now she doesn't want to return it to me! It's been a week and—" She kept blabbering on out of nowhere and I felt like dying. The one thing I hated was normal girl talk, I hated hearing about clothes and boy issues, it annoys the crap out of me. What made it even worse was that she started talking in a stereotypical white girl voice.

"Ok! I'll talk! Just please shut up" I interrupted almost harshly and she giggled.

"Thank god, I didn't even know where to go with the story. Frankly I was annoying myself" She said with a smirk and then I realized she just schemed me into talking.

"Well played." I respond with a small glare.

"Thank you" She winked at me and I don't know why, but ended up ducking my head, looking back at the table.

"So I see that's one thing we have in common." She says and I raised one of my eyebrows, not following what she's saying.

"We both don't like discussing about shoes" She said and I actually let out a small smile to her in which she returned.

Halfway through lunch and we were still talking. Well at least she was asking yes or no questions and I simply nodded or shook my head. I was relieved that they weren't questions that were too personal or about my past, they were just casual ones. I don't know what caused me to finally talk to Alex, I guess it was the effort she kept trying to put in.

"Ok hmm, did you leave a boy back home?" She asked and I immediately shook my head, as if that'll happen.

"Aw, don't worry Mitchie. Any guy would be lucky to have you, nowadays they're just morons" She said kindly trying to lift my spirit. But at those words, my insides cracked a little.

_"Why won't you go out with her?" I asked Shane, who continued to play video games. _

_"Cause I'm here with you. I don't like her like that." He responded and I gave him a weird look. _

_"You're always with me. You should be able to hang out with other people whenever you want, and not just get stuck with me all the time. " I said lowly and he pauses his game, looking at me, fake gasping. _

_"Are you breaking up with me?" He pretended to feel hurt and I playfully hit his arm._

_"Dork. I just feel like one day you're going to get tired of always being with me. And I think she's a nice chick to be your girlfriend." I replied and he gave me a strange look. _

_"I'll never get tired of you, you're my best friend. Why do you want me to go out with her so badly? What's wrong Mitchie?" He asked concerned and I knew there was no point in hiding it, he can always see through my lies. I sigh. _

_"It's just I never get the opportunity to actually be with someone. And here is a chick who likes you and you're just turning her down, since you're so used to getting asked out all the time, unlike me." I said sadly, I knew it was stupid to think that but I was just hurt that no one ever bothered to ask me out. What's wrong with me? He sighs and brings me into a hug. _

_"Oh Mitchie, any guy would be lucky to have you, nowadays they're just morons." He said and I let out a smile, appreciating how he can always make me feel better. _

I could feel the tears forming. She said the exact same thing Shane said to me. Sadness overtook me, as that memory entered my mind. God I miss him so much. I've been looking down at the table, trying my best not to let Alex see me like this. I saw a tear drop fall on the table, and I knew I couldn't be here any longer. I got up without saying a word and walked away, leaving Alex confused out of her mind.

I kept on walking, heading towards my room, ignoring Alex calling after me. I knew she was following me so I quickened my pace. Finally entering the room and went straight underneath my covers. Only a minute later I heard the door open, and Alex calling after me again.

"Mitchie, did I do something? What's wrong?" She asks and I can feel her body weight transferring to the edge of my bed. I kept crying, not responding, and she noticed. I felt her hand rubbing up and down my back through the covers, at first I tensed up but finally relaxed into her touch. She stopped and I felt my covers slightly getting pulled. Slowly, she uncovered my face to see my tears running down.

"Aww Mitchie I'm so sorry for whatever I said." She started saying guiltily and I shook my head, letting her know she didn't say anything wrong. She got up and grabbed a tissue, then kneeled down in front of me and started wiping away my tears. It was a kind gesture that made me stop crying. She smiled at me and I gave her an embarrassed look.

"You don't have to tell me anything. Do you want me to tell your teacher that you don't feel well and won't be able to make it to class? We're already late." She suggested and I nodded.

"Ok well I have to go. I'll bring you something to eat when I come back. Feel better" She said nicely while grabbing her books and left before I had the chance to deny her offer. Even though I was hungry, I didn't enjoy Alex wasting her money on me. At first, I wasn't sure about being friends with Alex, but seeing how safe I felt with her, I changed my mind. I'm going to try and be friends with her. However, I'm not sure if I'll be able to open up to her about everything, but at least it's a start.

I heard the school bell ring, meaning everybody was out of class already. Not until 15 minutes after the bell rung, did I see Alex come into the room. I was still in the same position as she left me in, I was too weak to move.

"Hey how are you feeling?" She asks me and I finally sat up.

"Better." I said honestly and she smiled.

"I brought you burger king with a sundae. I wasn't sure what type of food you like, so I went with the safe choice." She said handing me the paper bag.

"Thank you. And I'm sorry for just breaking down like that." I said lowly, not looking at her.

"It's alright. There's no problem in letting out your emotions once in a while. I'm not going to pressure you into telling me what happened, because obviously you're not ready to. So it's ok. " She said sitting next to me on my bed. How is this girl so nice and sweet. I will never understand that. She pulls me into a hug and I froze for a while. I'm not use to such affection, I only ever was comfortable with Shane. After a couple of seconds, I give in and return the hug. We stayed like that for a while, and I can say it felt awesome. It was like, hugging her made me block out any of my problems. It was a reassurance that maybe everything will turn out good in the end.

"Now eat up, you must be starving" She said as we pulled away from each other and I did as I was told.

_Alex's POV_

It's kind of feels out of the ordinary hearing more than a couple of words escape Mitchie's mouth but I like it. I can see the progression that she's making, slowly but still advancing. It saddens me to see her in such an emotional state of being. By no chance am I use to her sudden burst of feelings, but I want to help her. I hate how she keeps everything jumbled up inside, allowing it to come out only once in a while when she can't take it anymore. And the worst part is that even after breaking down publicly to me, she still doesn't want to admit what's bothering her.

I can tell that something is eating her inside, prohibiting the action of being herself. She tries hiding her problems to everyone, and continues on with life just not caring anymore and being silent. I know how hard it is to open up to someone new but it's not making her any better if she doesn't tell someone about it. I just wish one day she'll trust me enough to express herself.

"Alex!" I turn around to see Mason calling my name while walking up to me. I'm not really in the mood to talk to him right now, especially with me worrying so much about Mitchie.

"Oh hey Mason" I simply responded still walking with him besides me, following.

"Thanks for ditching me at lunch today" He said bluntly with sarcasm

"I'm sorry, she's always lonely at lunch, I felt bad." He rolls his eyes at my comment.

"Why are you taking so much interest in that girl?" He said coldly and I didn't really know how to respond to that because I honestly don't know. I shrug and tried to turn the tables on him instead.

"What's your problem? Can I not have any friends if I'm with you?" I stopped walking and faced him.

"You can but she's your roommate, you get to see her more often than you do with me. So you don't have to hang out with her in school so much." I sensed his jealousy, in the past I use to find it cute but now annoyance enters me.

"Fine ok. But I'm not dropping her, I'll just make sure I spend my time equally with you both. Does that make you feel better?" I said trying to end the little disagreement and he just gives me a slanted smile, sensing the forced tone with slight honesty.

"Sure. But there was something else I wanted to tell you" He trails off and I nod telling him to continue, walking again back to my room.

"So while I was at the office helping out, I kind of found out a little more about your roommate…" I stop midway again and look at him with curious eyes, pleading him to go on.

"Like the reason she probably came here and left her old school." He said still delaying the exact answer I want. His face fell a little and now my mind wanders to different scenarios. God I hope it's not that bad.

"Um, Alex her best friend died not too long ago." He let out in an almost whispered tone and I stayed frozen. In complete shock, as I took a deep breath in, and landed my right hand over my mouth, as a small gasp slipped off my lips.

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_**There was only a glimpse in this chapter of what the consequence Alex will be awaiting. Soon it'll be known, just wait(; No one has yet been able to predict what it'll be, keep guessing! **_

_**Anyways what did you guys think? Hoped you enjoyed it(: Please Review**_

_**Spoiler: Mitchie's stubbornness becomes an issue for their friendship and Alex doesn't know what to do after finding out that certain information. **_


	5. Crossing Boundaries

**_A/N: The title of this chapter has multiple meanings, keep that in mind while reading this c(;_**

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot._**

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_"When someone is crying, of course, the noble thing to do is to comfort them. But if someone is trying to hide their tears, it may also be noble to pretend you do not notice them."_

_-Lemony Snicket_

I think I finally ended up at a point where me and Alex are ultimately friends. However, she's been acting kind of weird lately, like more on my case. Kind of as if more attached. One day she came back to our room after hanging out with Mason and just randomly brought me into a hug. I was already confused but didn't really think much of it so I just returned the gesture. She seemed sad but I knew it wasn't any of my business to ask her about it.

The way she looks at me is different than how it was before. In a way her eyes fill with pity. Maybe it was because of my little melt down that day but I don't really know. I just wish she'd stop looking at me in that manner, like she feels sorry for me. It's not like she knows anything about my past so she has no reason to seem that way.

Nevertheless, other than the odd change of mood, I've really been enjoying spending time with her. Having that sort of bond that I use to have with Shane is nice. It doesn't make me feel lonely anymore, like someone may actually care. I don't know much about Alex but neither does she when it comes to me. It's just the start of our friendship, maybe after trust is built will I be able to open up. I know how much she wants to talk about my problems, but it's too early. I just can't, not yet.

Right now I have my own opinions about her, positive ones. But I don't want to keep my hopes up. People change. It's a part of life. I'm scared about the fact that that may actually happen to her. She'll want to be far away from me, she'll get tired of me easily. Normal events that has already happened to me, it's possible to recreate. Which is one of my greatest fears. Losing a cared one, that is.

"Hey Mitch" Alex calls after me, while sitting next to me in our classroom. She's probably the second person to ever call me by my nickname, and for once I'm not bothered by it.

"Hey, why in such a good mood?" I ask with a half-smile and she hugs me again. Her sudden burst of affection doesn't faze me anymore, I got accustomed to it already.

"I don't know, I just am" She says with a big smile on her face and I look her up and down but then turn away from her and face the front of the class.

"You're weird" I tease her and she playfully bumps my shoulder with hers, making us both let out a comfortable laugh.

We were in a bible study class, not one of my favorite subject. It's hard enough trying to stay awake during it, and with the teacher making you purposely read out a verse, makes it even worse. I think Alex feels the same way about it too, I don't blame her. She may be going to this school but similar to me, we aren't that religious as our parents are.

Halfway through, me and Alex zoned out, whispering random nothings in our ears when the teacher wasn't looking. However that immediately was brought into an end when the teacher called my name. Crap what was she just talking about?

"Ms. Torres" The lady said and I got brought back from the little conversation I was having with my roommate. I was silent for a couple of seconds but decided to open up my mouth. However it wasn't the reply she was expecting from me.

"I'm sorry, what?" I ask obviously confused and she gives me a glare.

"Pay attention! What does commandment seven talk about?" She repeats and I'm mentally slapping myself. I don't even know the order of the commandments. Shit.

"Thou shalt not commit adultery, Mrs." Alex speaks up while putting her hand on my thigh, which I did not notice at the moment since I was so relieved that I didn't get called out even more in front of everyone.

"Thank you Ms. Russo." The teacher said still glaring at me and finally went back to her lesson. I faced Alex and mouthed a 'Thank You' to her and she just replied with a smile, lifting her hand off my thigh. Wait when did that happen? Ugh whatever, I let out a breath of relief and carried on, actually listening to the lecture.

Thirty minutes later and the bell for lunch ranged. Thank god. Alex was speaking to a classmate about homework, waiting for me to get packed. As I was putting my notes away, one of the sheets got snatched away and torn in half in front of my face. Letting it go as it fell on the floor against the air. I looked up and found Gigi smirking saying "Oops". The same girl who tripped me in the hallway, the leader of my torment.

I didn't say anything, I bit my tongue. She started leaning on my desk, obviously about to say a snarky comment to me but once again got interrupted by Alex.

"Get away from her Gigi. How about picking on someone your own size." Alex said to her, walking up to us and standing beside me, picking up the ripped pieces of paper.

"Oh like who?" She said sizing Alex and stepping a foot closer to her.

"Like me. But you're probably too scared" Alex says back with a smirk. As nice and sweet Alex is to me, she is known to have a tough girl reputation around this school. A lot of people wouldn't dare to mess with her. Gigi lets out a fake laugh.

"Please. Don't test me Russo." She says menacingly to her and faces me again.

"Oh Mitchie I see you found your own personal guard dog. Can't fight your own battles huh?" Gigi says to me and I start to get angry inside. Temper rising slowly, still trying to control it. Before I had the chance to respond Alex shoves her but not intentionally hard enough to knock her down.

"Ruff Ruff" Gigi laughs at Alex and finally walks away not doing anything back. My hands in a fist, digging my nails into my palm. I was about to flip out, so I started running away from Alex. Running back to the same place I keep going to when I'm upset or pissed. And of course Alex following behind like always. I slam the door on her face but she still opens it to find my back to her and arms crossed in a corner.

"Mitchie, what happened now?" Alex says tiredly, noticing how many times she's asked me that. I don't respond, if I opened my mouth I knew I'd start yelling.

"Can you just ignore Gigi, she's a bitch, she's always like that" Alex says grabbing onto my shoulder and I couldn't keep it in anymore. I turn around, shoving her hand off my shoulder.

"It's not about Gigi, it's about you!" I scream at her which took her by surprise.

"Me? What did I do?!" She semi yells, trying to keep her cool. I scoff.

"I don't need your help! I don't need you to stand up for me, I can do it by myself!" I know I'm stubborn but I'm just tired of her always trying to protect me.

"Didn't seem like it to me! But whatever fine I'm sorry" She replies irritatingly.

"I don't like being thought of a fragile vase that you have to watch out for! Let me fight my own battles!"

"Mitch, I don't think of you like that…" She said calmly but I couldn't keep myself from the continuous yells.

"And why do you care?! Why do you want to be friends with me so badly! Is it some kind of fucking high school bet? Who can hang out with the loser the longest?!" I yell furiously, not understanding her intentions of this so called friendship. Her sympathy exits her face and anger comes upon it.

"Are you serious?! Are you that fucking screwed up that you won't let anyone who actually cares about you, enter your life!?" She screams out to me rapidly but automatically presses her lips together forcefully and closes her eyes, bringing her right hand to slap her forehead. Instantly regretting the words that just left her mouth but I didn't care. Right now all I felt was hurt.

"Fuck you!" I yell out to her as my eyes watered up and ran into the bathroom, locking it behind me. Leaning against the door, sliding down with my hands covering my eyes.

The knocking against the door began and I tried to block it out. She wouldn't stop until she knew I would open the door.

"Mitch, I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said. I was just angry and I had no right to say that. I know nothing about your life to judge you." I heard Alex say against the door. I still didn't say anything but instead stood up and walked in front of the mirror. I was so tempted to grab the sharp object from the sink. I couldn't hold in my meltdown anymore. As I started to reach for it, Alex's voice stops me.

"Please, Mitch. Just open the door. I'm sorry." Alex starts to plead and I pull my hand away from the razor. In a way I got brought back to life by hearing her voice. I started to regain my strength and sat back down against the door, empty handed.

My tears had finally stopped. It's been about 10 minutes of me being isolated. I wash my face, getting rid of the eyeliner that smudged beneath my eyes. Once I cleaned up, I remembered it was still lunch time. Not hearing anything else come out of Alex's mouth, I assume she finally left and went to the cafeteria. I unlock the door and open it in a moderate speed, getting a mini heart attack when I see a body fall backwards onto the bathroom floor.

"Oh my god! Are you okay?" I ask worriedly once I realize it was Alex who's now rubbing the back of her head. She giggles.

"Yeah I'm alright." She says while stopping herself from the action she was doing, placing her hands on either side of her, holding herself up.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know you were still in the room, let alone leaning against the door" I said guiltily

"No really it's ok. I should be the one apologizing. For everything I said." Alex lets out with a sad smile while grabbing my hand. It was something that caught me off guard so I looked down at our hands. Once she realized that I noticed, she pulled away, clearing her throat from the awkwardness she thinks she encountered.

"It's my fault, for just yelling at you like that. I'm sorry I'm acting so stubborn but you just have to realize it's not easy for me to let new people into my life. It's going to take time for me to really warm up to you." I said missing the warm feeling her hand gave off, and this time, I grabbed her hand and we smiled at each other.

"It doesn't matter. Just know that I do care about you Mitch. And I hope one day you'll be able to trust me" Alex replies, finally sitting up. I smile and let go of her hand but only to bring her into a hug in which she gladly returned. After being in each other's arm for a long five seconds, I stand up, holding out my hand for Alex to grab. She reaches my hand and I help her off the floor.

"C'mon, let's get a quick bite, lunch is about to end" I said and she nodded, walking next to me as we headed out our dorm room.

_Alex's POV_

After finding out the tragedy Mitchie is facing, I kept it to myself. I knew it was a bad idea to bring it up to her, I guess we'll talk about it whenever she's ready, whenever she wants to tell me. I couldn't stop myself from feeling bad for her, I couldn't even imagine what she's dealing with. I kind of understand now why she's always so distant. She just lost someone who probably knew so much about her, who she opened her heart too.

That's part of the reason why I started being more over protected of her, I couldn't help it. I didn't want to see her hurt. Especially not like how she was that day when she ran away crying. And for me to be the cause of that pain today, killed me inside. I didn't mean anything I said to her, it was just a moment where I didn't think before I spoke. I instantly regretted once I realized what I said to her and when she yelled out the two words I thought I never hear her say, especially to me. I don't blame her for yelling at me, I completely understand where she's coming from. Thinking she's a weak link. Which by no chance is that true.

I was kind of relieved that we made up after busting my ass falling backwards. I don't know why I decided to grab her hand, it was just a weird desire. I guess she thought that too for a moment but after I embarrassingly pulled away, she grabbed it back. It was a nice feeling that entered me, a different one. Ugh this is what happens when you're not use to having friends who are girls.

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_**Looks like they are starting to get comfortable with each other(;**_

_**What did you guys think? I love receiving your inputs(:**_

_**Spoiler: For the next chapter, it'll most likely just be merely based on their friendship and how it's been developing and maybe a little drama between two people(; Can anyone guess who? **_

_**As for the future, this will not be Mitchie's last breakdown, she will be having many of those later on, it's part of showing how internally destroyed she really is. Now how exactly will Alex be able to handle it when she starts developing her own problems? That is the question my friend(; **_

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_**This is completely random and unrelated to the story but OMGG Demi Lovato's music video for Made in the USA comes out tomorrow(07-17-13)! Gahh! ;DD Anyone else excited as much as I am? Lmfaoo ugh I can't wait! # .Fangirling xD **_


	6. Friendship

_**A/N: This chapter is to show you guys what kind of friendship Mitchie and Alex has developed and it also gives you a small clue on what will be happening in the future(;**_

_**Disclaimer: I own NOTHING but the plot. Not even the songs that are mentioned in this chapter. **_

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_**I love the positive critiques I've been receiving for this story. Thank you guys so much! :* I hope I don't disappoint (:**_

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_"The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, not the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when you discover that someone else believes in you and is willing to trust you with a friendship."_

_-Ralph Waldo Emerson_

Friendship may actually be one of the most important value in this world. No one can spiritually survive without someone by their side, someone who will always pick them up when they're down. Especially when they don't have an ideal family, they will constantly turn to their person of comfort.

Aristotle once said_ "Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow ripening fruit." _The stages that you may have to surpass will only be the difficult part, but once you reach the other side, there's no going back. I always saw the idea of amity as a vulnerable state of being. Because once you place yourself in that situation, you feel as if you are required to open up, to someone who only a while back you knew nothing about.

But I changed my mind, I no longer hold onto that belief, Alex helped me understand another point of perspective on companionship. I think since Shane was my best friend and he knew so much about me that I felt I needed to do the same with Alex, but in reality I was being close minded. I've finally learned to enjoy myself with someone else who doesn't pressure me into telling her my life story. At first I thought that's all she wanted, but I was being judgmental. I was judging a book by its cover. Which was wrong for me to do so.

Alex by no way is she a typical average girl. She may seem like a bad ass to everyone but I see a completely different side of her. An unexpected side. All she really cares about is actually being my friend, which to me is still hard to believe. She doesn't ask about personal experiences, she just wants to live in the moment, not dwell in the past. I respect her for that. I wish I was as strong of a person as she is, that she can easily let go at what already happened and move on.

Moving on, that's a strange concept for me. I never got introduced to it until I met Alex, I hope one day I'll be able to let go, let go of the grief that Shane's passing brought me, but all I can really do now is let time pass. Maybe Alex will be my cure, and for once, I won't have a problem with it. I'm willing to open up again but only when the time is right, when it is the most needed. Not now, though.

Me and Alex have reached a point of serenity. I'm really starting to consider her as a best friend. Everything has been going so well that there's no point in bringing up my subjective problems. So I'll wait, I'll wait until the crucial detail becomes a necessity, until she's really curious to finally ask.

Other than getting close to Alex, another benefit has been acquired. The desire to harm myself has gradually lessen. Life has slowly become easier, and I feel like I'm starting to really like this place. Not fit in though, but that doesn't matter. As long as I got my roommate, I'll be ok, I truly do believe that now.

I bite the end of my pen, tapping it against my notebook, trying to find the perfect lyrics to continue my unfinished poem or song as many people will call it. An idea finally hits me and I start writing it down.

_"And she tried to survive, Living her life on her own, Always afraid of the throne, But you've given me strength to find hope…" _

I hum the lyrics I already had down, thinking of what may come next but I quickly close my notebook and shove it underneath my pillow when I hear the door open. Not wanting anyone to know about my songs. I didn't have time to get up from my laid down position and turn around to look at the door as I feel a whole body jump on top of me. I let out a grunt once I feel all the weight coming down on my back.

"One day you're going to break my back" I say to Alex, turning my face to find her head resting on my shoulder. She laughs and at last gets off of me, sitting on the edge of my bed.

"Sorry, I just missed you today" She said with a bright smile. I came down with a fever so I was allowed to stay in the room and miss school today, but Alex was still obligated to attend. I raise one of my eyebrows and let out a small giggle.

"Weirdo." I said simply and her mouth opens in offence, hitting me with a pillow.

"What was that for!" I ask her, while snatching the pillow out of her hands and hitting her back.

"You didn't say you missed me back! Very rude, very rude." She jokingly pouts crossing her arms.

"But if I said it, it'd be a lie" I tell her and she looks at me with her mouth open once again. I tried to play it off for a couple of more seconds but once I saw she actually started to believe me, I jump on her, hugging her tightly.

"I'm kidding, I missed you too" I say in a baby voice still hugging her, she laughs.

"Can't breath—Suffocating me" She says in between breaths and I laughed, letting go of her, hitting her shoulder.

"Anyways how about we go get some frozen yogurt? My treat" She asks me with a puppy dog face. She's so adorable. I can never say no to that.

"Ugh fine but no way are you paying. I'll buy it, no arguments or I'm not going" I tell her while picking up my purse and opening the door. She sighed but followed behind. We both hate it when we waste money on one another but since Alex is always buying me food, I decided it was time to switch up the roles.

We got our cup filled with yogurt and sat down at an outside table. Just enjoying our presence and having casual talk. It was only a matter of minutes that our fun got side tracked. I start seeing Mason come to our table and internally rolled my eyes. He seemed kind of angry, especially when he laid eyes on me. As he reached us, he turned to Alex.

"Hey Alex can I speak to you in private for a moment" He asks her and she sighs, giving me an apologetic look as she stood up and followed him to a nearby tree. I wasn't trying to be nosey but I was genuinely curious as to what they were talking about, or should I say are arguing about. By the way they were both moving their arms in a dramatic manner, I could tell they were both mad. I could only catch bits and pieces of their conversation.

"You said you had to study tonight!" I heard Mason yell to Alex, I couldn't hear her respond to his comment. After two more minutes of arguing, I saw them both glancing at me once in a while. Which was pretty weird, I mean they can't seriously be arguing about me, can they? Then again it's no secret that Mason isn't really fond of me, and I returned the feeling. At first he seemed nice but now he always looks pissed when he's with Alex, he's starting to get really annoying. Alex seems to be somewhat over his attitude too, I don't understand why they just won't break up.

Alex looks at me and our eyes make contact but I quickly duck my head, continuing to eat my yogurt. But still opened my ears to see if I could hear anything else.

"Mason, I'm done discussing this with you! Ok! I'm hanging out with Mitchie right now so leave me alone" I heard her say to him, and I looked up for a mini second witnessing them finally part their ways.

"Sorry about that. Mason is just being annoying." She apologizes to me while sitting back down at her seat. I give her a small smile, disputing whether or not I should ask her what's going on between them. But made up my mind to drop it since it wasn't any of my business.

We finished off our treat and went back to our room. Alex was sitting at the desk in the corner of our room while I was on my bed reading my book. I heard Alex growl loudly, combing her hair back with her fingers, chewing on her pencil.

"What's up with you?" I ask laying my book on my chest, looking up to her. She growls again and turns her chair to look at me.

"I can't think of anything to write about. I have no inspiration in my head and this paper is due in two days." She says in an aggravated tone, mad at herself. I wish I could help her but I suck at writing papers, I'm passing English by a loose thread.

She gets up, stretching her body, then her eyes lock on the other side of the room. I was about to ask her what she's looking at but she answered me once she walked up to my radio. Turning it on, scanning through the stations until she finally reached a song she enjoyed. Then a smile grew on her face as she turned it up louder, facing me.

"I love this song!" She says excitedly, coming towards me, grabbing my hands.

"Oh no, I don't dance" I say resisting her force, but of course she ignored me.

"Neither do I, c'mon, sing it with me" She says finally pulling me up from my bed. She turned the song up louder, and started mouthing the words to me, making me laugh. I recognized the song, it was Hot n Cold by Katy Perry. She grabbed my hands and started lifting them up, while she started dancing, causing me to continue laughing at her goofiness.

"C'mon I know you know this song, you can't resist much longer" She winks at me with a small laugh. The beat started building up and I knew the chorus was about to come up. I couldn't resist anymore, Alex's puppy dog face was getting through me. We both looked at each other with a big grin, reading each other's mind.

"Cause you're hot then you're cold, You're yes then you're no…" We started singing at the same time, laughing and jumping around like crazy people, and continued to do so.

"Someone call the doctor, Got a case of a love bi-polar, Stuck on a roller coaster, Can't get off this ride…" We sang together with our eyes closed then opened it for the next lyric.

"You change your mind, Like a girl changes clothes…" We pointed at each other while being in sync. Then the song came to an end and we fell into loud comfortable laughter. That had to be the most fun I've had with anyone for a while.

"You're really good Mitch" Alex says almost seriously after we caught our breath. I shrug and just lay back down on my bed after exchanging smiles to each other.

I continued to read my book until a paper ball hit me on the forehead, then I heard Alex laugh.

"Goalll!" She screams out, ignoring the fact that that is used for soccer. I roll my eyes and let out a giggle, paying attention back to the chapter.

"Well aren't you going to open it and read it?" She asks me and I growl, unraveling the ball, and reading it.

_Hi. I'm bored. :/_

I rolled my eyes at the small note and crumbled it, throwing it towards her head.

"Hurry up and finish that paper!" I tell her and she lets out a loud 'Ughh', facing her paper again.

"You're no fun!" She whines but I just shake my head, and kept on reading.

_Alex's POV_

I love how close me and Mitchie have gotten these past few weeks. I never would have thought I'd have a girl best friend, since I don't get along with most chicks, just guys. But it's pretty amazing. I've gotten so attached to her so fast that it's unbelievable. I adore spending time with her, doing random things but still having fun. But what makes me the happiest is how she finally warmed up to me, she feels more comfortable around me, she doesn't hide her words or thoughts, she expresses them out loud, well at least to me she does. And there's no more awkwardness that goes on between us, we act like ourselves because we know we won't judge each other.

The only downfall of being friends with Mitchie is how irritating Mason is getting. His jealousy is going overboard, it's like he despises her, which I don't understand why since Mitchie has yet to do or say anything to him. He's starting to really aggravate me. I'm even upsetting myself since I can't find the courage to just end things, I wish he would just do it already. He's not worth my time anymore. I kind of just want to continue to spend time with Mitchie, it's pretty strange.

I've also noticed that she doesn't have many of those nightmares anymore, it's a huge relief for me. She doesn't appear to be like the sad closed off girl that I met two months ago, she's more carefree now, I like that. However, I wish Gigi would stop harassing Mitchie, although she's been easing up a bit, she still doesn't stop. And since Mitchie won't allow me to interfere anymore, I just have to stand there and help her out whenever she's down. Hopefully as time passes by, it'll all get better.

I'm really enjoying being friends with Mitch, much more than I thought I would have. And it's starting to scare me how inseparable I'm getting with my roommate…

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_**Sorry if it wasn't interesting but the next chapter will be much better! I promise(:**_

_**Either way hoped you guys liked this part!**_

_**Spoiler****: You will be witnessing an important bonding moment between the two girls as another conflict for Mitchie arises. Another one of her breakdowns /: but this time she has Alex to help her comfort. **_

_**As for the future, Mitchie will finally prove to Alex how much she cares about her as Alex faces one of her own conflicts. This will be occurring most likely in chapter 8. **_

_**Oh one more thing, YES you will definitely hate Mason throughout the rest of the story, especially once you reach Chapter 8 and so on. Heads up(;**_


	7. Promises

**_A/N: Most of this chapter will be in Alex's POV except the beginning since I always write in Mitchie's POV. Hope you guys like it(:_**

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. _**

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**_jswizzle1213 - Thank you so much!(:_**

**_Guest - Haha awesome! xD_**

**_LovezObsessed - Lmao yes he will be creating drama(; _**

**_Trainwreck2212 - Yes you have the right concept but still not quite(; and thank you! But I'll try not to take so long until they develop their feelings, since I know a lot of people will get impatient Lol_**

**_Your mom - Lol thank you!(:_**

**_Suefanficlover - Thank you very much(:_**

**_Guest - Thankss(:_**

**_Pretty little fiction321 - Maybeee(; and thank you!(:_**

**_MyGlitterDreamCloud - Yes I'll admit to the Mason prediction, next chapter will dive into it! And thank you I appreciate it(:_**

**_Demenaforever13 - Thank you so much(:_**

**_Guest - Haha here you go(; _**

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_I run into my house, slamming the door behind me, but of course my parents are too busy to even care. I enter the bathroom and start to examine my face. Lightly running my fingers on the fresh bruises that are developing on my cheek and eye. I start to apply slight pressure on the purplish spot and I wince at the pain. Quickly removing my hand from my face and pouring hot water on the open cuts, biting my lip to control the sting. _

_After cleaning up the wounds, I crawl underneath my bed sheets and start letting my emotions out. Knowing that no one will bother to come in and check on me, I don't stop myself. I hear footsteps coming closer by the second and I rapidly wipe the tears away and wrap the covers over my body. I hear my bedroom door creek open and I shut my eyes tightly, hoping they'll go away thinking I'm asleep._

_"Mitch? Are you okay?" I hear Shane's voice and I shake my head, as if he can actually see my actions. I feel him sit on my bed and he started pulling the blanket off of me. He lets out a low gasp and started tearing up._

_"This is all my fault, I knew I shouldn't have left you alone." He started shaking his head in disbelief and I grabbed his hand. _

_"No it isn't. Don't think that" I said while chocking back my tears. He stood up and started searching my room._

_"What are you looking for?" I ask him and he doesn't look back but continues his search._

_"The first aid kit" He simply said_

_"I already cleaned the cuts, don't worry." I said and he finally stopped, turning around to face me. Then he started pacing around the room._

_"Who did this to you, I swear—" He started off angrily and I stopped him. Just shaking my head, not wanting him to know since I already knew how over protective he is. He sighs and sits next to me, bringing me into a hug._

_"I'm so sorry." He said in between cries in which caused me to do the same. _

_"Don't be. Just please don't leave me" I whisper to him, afraid of losing him at any cost. He hugs me tighter._

_"I will never leave you, I promise." _

"Hey, it's just a dream. Wake up Mitchie" I hear Alex mumble, rubbing my shoulder since I was laying on my side. I opened my eyes to see Alex staring at me, with a worried and caring expression. I smile, letting her understand that I'm okay. She gives me a small smile and returns back to her bed. '_It's just a dream.' _If only she knew. I wish it was just a silly dream and not a replay of my past.

I grab my phone and turn it on, squinting, adjusting to the bright screen. I check the time, 6:38am on a Saturday, great. Then my vision met with the date, October 11th, fuck. I throw my phone onto the floor, squeezing my eyes shut and went back to sleep, pushing everything out of my head, for now.

_Alex's POV_

I should have figured that Mitchie will still be having nightmares, but at least the number of times per week has decreased. I woke up about four hours later once I went back to bed. I saw Mitchie sleeping peacefully so I didn't bother waking her up. She definitely needs the rest. I entered the shower and got dressed, leaving the room quietly, making sure I don't wake my roommate up.

I decided to go get us breakfast, though it took me longer than usual due to the excessive long line and I kept bumping into some of my classmates. After chatting for a while, I slowly opened the door, peaking my head inside. I notice Mitchie was fairly awake, sitting on the far end corner of the room, hugging her knees.

"You're awake! I brought you some breakfast" I say while holding the plastic container in front of her. She doesn't look up, nor makes any movement to signal she was going to grab the food out of my hand. After holding it up for a few seconds, I raise my eyebrows, and place it on her nightstand.

"Are you okay?" I ask her, kneeling in front to see eye to eye. She has a blank, emotionless expression that I've never seen before. She shrugs but continues looking right past me, I look down following her hand, and I notice she's holding onto that necklace she's never taken off. I can't really see what it is, like the design or if it has any words on it because her grip is hiding it.

I sigh and get up, knowing it has to do with the nightmares, so I can't do anything to help her. Since I still know nothing about her past. Maybe giving her some time alone will help her.

"Well, I was thinking about going shopping, would you want to come?" I ask hoping she'll say something. She ignores my question, as if I wasn't in the room.

"Ok, um I'll see you in a couple of hours. Call me if you need anything. I'll text you to check up on you, ok?" I say heading to the door, still nothing. I exit the room and start walking.

One step forward, two steps backwards.

_-12:15pm: Are you sure you don't need anything? Lunch? _

_-1:06pm: How are you feeling? _

_-1:57pm: Mitchie, please answer me as soon as you can. _

_-2:21pm: I just want to know that you're ok. Don't block me out, please. _

Text after text and she still wouldn't respond to me. Normally I would enjoy myself while I shop but all I'm feeling is concerned. I need to leave already and check on her personally. I place my phone in my pocket and right away I felt it vibrate. As fast as I could, I took it out, seeing I had one unread message. I open it, and rolled my eyes, growling.

_Are we going to hang out today or are you still entertained with Mitchie? _

Realizing it was Mason and not Mitchie, I ignore it, not responding and shoving it back into my pocket. Walking back to campus.

I arrived at my building, slowing down my pace when I realize my dorm is only three rooms away. I make it to the door, as I was about to grab the handle, Mitchie's voice ceased me.

"You lied! You promised something you couldn't keep!" I hear her yell from the other side of the door. Maybe she's on the phone? I make a step backwards, ready to turn around to give her privacy until I hear a crashing noise coming from inside, and immediately I rush inside.

I stay in place, completely shocked at Mitchie's sudden outrage. I close the door behind me, not wanting an audience. I see her throwing her stuff across the room, one by one. Breaking anything of hers. I've never seen her so violent, and I start to get scared.

"Mitchie… put that down. It's not going to help you." I mutter while walking slowly to her with my hands out. She turns to face me and I see the tears flowing from inside. She turns away from me and grabs her Iphone, throwing it at the wall, seeing it crack into pieces. I jump backwards, covering my mouth.

"He fucking lied! He didn't care about me!" She yells out in sobs, going up to her bed and pulling the sheets off, throwing it onto the floor. I started shaking, I swallowed loudly and started approaching her again.

"Who?… Please Mitchie calm down" At this point I was also crying. She stopped midway and placed her hands over her eyes, her sobs getting louder. I took it as the opportunity to grab her hands and place it to her sides. She started struggling but I didn't let go.

"Let go of me! I don't need you!" She yells out to me, and I felt small pain inside me. She's only angry, she doesn't even know what she's saying. I couldn't leave her alone, not now.

"No! Calm down or I won't let you go!" I scream out to her, trying to control her. An unexpected strength entered her, yanking her arms out of my hold, shoving me to the ground. My head hit the bottom portion of the wall while my body landed hard on the floor, I shook it off as best as I could, I couldn't give up. She's not going to push me away, I won't let her.

She pushes the bathroom door open and starts unlocking the cabinets. Throwing everything onto the floor, some landing inside the shower and other scattered all over the place. As I tried to pick myself off, ignoring the pain that circuited throughout my entire body, in a glimpse of an eye, I see Mitchie's fist make contact with the mirror. Right away, my instinct surpassed the ache and I rushed to her, as she slid against the wall holding her now bloody knuckles, crying out in pain.

Speedily I grab the first aid kit and a pair of eyebrow tweezers and started pulling out the pieces of glass that was hanging from her skin. She threw her head back and continued crying, hitting her head against the wall to ignore the pain coming from her hand. I wrapped a towel around her hand, applying pressure to soak up the blood. Wrapping my arms around her, pulling her into my body. Both of us in tears, I start rubbing her back and head, rocking her to calm her cries.

"I-I'm s-sorry" She whispered and I shushed her. Closing my eyes.

"Shh, it's going to be okay. I'm not going to leave you. Trust me." I whispered into her ear and she nodded, slowly her breathing started getting back to normal. We were both still shaking but eventually got calmed down.

After I noticed she stopped crying, I tilted her chin to face me.

"You can't keep this in anymore. Please just tell me what's going on." I tell her and she swallows, closing her eyes, moving her head back to rest on my chest.

"Ok." She simply said after a minute of silence. She pulls away and looks at me.

"Why were you so angry today?" I ask and she ducks her head.

"It's been seven months…" She whispered, I was still confused.

"Of what?" I ask and she breaths in.

"Of my best friend's passing" She stated and everything came into place. What Mason told me, of course it was that. Poor Mitchie. I grab her hand in comfort.

"His name was Shane. He committed suicide on March 11th" She said and as I was about to open my mouth she continued.

"No one knows why." She said looking back up to me, knowing I was going to ask that. Her eyes started getting red again and I pulled her into another hug.

"You don't have to continue if you don't want to…" I whispered to her and she shook her head.

"I want to. Shane was my best friend, well my only friend at that. Throughout my school life, I've always been bullied. That's why I was so use to it when I came here. He was the most amazing and caring person you could ever meet, he would always be with me 24/7, and would always protect me from all those people who teased me and hurt me." She said and then looked up to me with a small smile.

"What?" I ask her, genuinely confounded.

"Kind of like you." She simply said and I smiled back at her. It hurts me to think that she had to deal with all that crap, that's why she was so emotionally distressed. But at least Shane helped her back then and I for damn sure will help her for the rest of the time. God I never thought I would care so much about her.

"One day after I got severely beat up by a couple of kids, he came to my room to comfort me and he promised me he'd never leave me, but obviously didn't keep it. I don't understand why he would kill himself.." At the last sentence, she started crying again.

"Mitchie you can't wonder everyday why, but just understand that it was already done. You knew he cared about you, so he didn't do it to hurt you, he had internal problems that no one will ever know except him. But here's the difference between me and him… I'm not going to leave you. I swear on my life, I will never let that happen, even if we stop talking for a while, eventually I will always keep coming back. And you can definitely hold me up to that. I love you." I said honestly, grabbing her hands in between mine, kissing them. She gave me a genuine smile and hugged me, placing a small kiss on my right cheek. Which totally caught me by surprise, I started getting this strange emotion on the pit of my stomach when I felt her lips make contact with my skin. I blushed and got off the floor.

"Um, C'mon let's take you to the clinic. I'll clean this up later" I told her, taking her left hand that wasn't damaged, leading her down the hall.

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**_Mitchie has finally opened up! Well at least only about Shane and not what happened afterwards. Baby steps._**

**_And what is going on with Alex? ;O _**

**_So What did you guys think?_**

**_Spoiler: It's Alex's turn. Dun Dun Dunn ): Mitchie's friendship qualities gets put to the test(; Yes Mason will be a crucial part of the next chapter. What do you guys think will happen? _**

**_Help: Since there will be an Alex 'breakdown' (more like a dramatic scene) in chapter 8, do you guys think I should do it in Mitchie's or Alex's POV? Since in this chapter, for Mitchie's breakdown, I did it in Alex's POV, so I don't know... _**


	8. Hope

**_A/N: Sorry once again for the length but I'll try making the rest longer. Hope you guys like it._**

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot._**

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**_So many reviews for just one chapter, man you guys are just amazing! (: _**

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**_ATTENTION: Many people are wondering whether or not Mitchie will find out why Shane killed himself, here's my answer..._**

**_Yes she will. So don't worry guyss c(: I'm not that bad of a person xD However, it will be more into the future when she finds out, so I'm sorry. The reason will be very surprising for Mitchie and maybe even for you guys, so bare with me. Lol_**

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_"The road that is built in hope is more pleasant to the traveler than the road built in despair, even though they both lead to the same destination." _

_― Marion Zimmer Bradley_

No matter where we may end up in the future, it should never intervene with the present. No one should waste their time, wondering what will be coming. That's another thing Alex taught me.

Hope is significant in life, without it, you have nothing to look up for. Even though I always surround myself with negativity, I always have that small light inside me, excited to see what the future brings me once I get out of this inner conflict. Hoping for a better life. Which I know I'm going to eventually get.

As much as I get angry inside thinking of Shane's passing and how he just left me on this horrible world, I still have hope that his reasoning didn't have to do with me. That he had other problems that I just couldn't do anything about. That he still left this planet with our friendship in mind, with positive thoughts. That's all I can ever wish for.

I also have hope in Alex. That she will come to her senses and break up with Mason. Realizing that being in that kind of relationship is only hurting her. I witness the screams, the lack of affection, the constant avoidance and I wonder why they're still together. But I'm in no place to judge her, maybe she really loves the guy and just can't find the heart to be away from him. I don't know.

I don't understand why we both can't be happy at the same time. Either she's content with her life while I'm all depressed or I'm finally calmed down while she's in a toxic relationship. So far it can't be a win-win situation, but once again I'm not giving up. I'll keep wishing until it finally happens. I have faith.

However, is it wrong that I feel the need to be blamed? For their continuous fights. Does it make me egotistical, that I keep thinking everything somehow revolves around me? I guess so. I'm just use to always being the problem in any situation. That my existence causes the people surrounded to suffer. Eh, maybe self-centeredness is starting to enter my body. Because why on earth will I be the problem? How am I involved in that drama? I don't get it.

I enter back into my room, seeing Alex on her laptop.

"Hey, where were you?" Alex asks concern, setting the laptop to her side.

"Oh um I just needed some fresh air." I simply said, I wasn't lying, I really needed to clear my thoughts.

"How's your hand?"

"Much better. Thanks, you know for everything. God I feel like all I keep doing, is thanking you" I said causing both of us to giggle.

"It was no big deal. Well I have to get some supplies for my project, do you need anything?" She asks while putting on her shoes, I shake my head and gives me a look asking if I was sure.

"Really, I'm good. Go, I'll be here finishing my paper" I said with a smile in which she returned, finally exiting the door.

I laid down, and started examining my hand, noticing the bruises clearing up and the pain in a bearable state. I still can't believe I had a meltdown like that, especially in front of Alex. How she doesn't think of me as a mental patient still surprises me. I feel guilty as I could ever be, merely for the fact that I pushed her onto the floor. I should have never laid my hands on her, no matter how angry I was, mostly at myself. And to still pick herself up and rush to my side when I wasn't thinking, and punched the mirror. God I really am blessed. The rest of that night, she held me in her arms, comforting me as I cried after I told her about Shane.

But the best moment for me of that night, was when she looked me dead in the eye and promised me that she wouldn't let me fall. And right there I believed her, and still hold onto that. Those last hours, was beyond our comfort zone, something I wasn't use to but really did enjoyed. Causing me to kiss her cheek just out of pure happiness that I realized what kind of person I really have right next to me. I don't know how I can ever repay her, but I know I'm going to try my best to make it up to her, no matter how long it takes.

I sat at the desk and continued to write non sense on my paper. Only caring that I get some credit for the assignment. I turn around quickly when I hear my door slam open and shut. Alex's body laid against it, breathing heavily, holding a shopping bag.

"What's up with you?" I ask laughing and she bends down, holding onto her knees breathing in and out. I start to get worried and get up to situate myself next to her.

"Are you ok? What happened?" I ask and she tries to regain her normal breathing. She shook her head.

"Yeah I'm ok. I just ran from the café back to here." She said in between breaths and I raise an eyebrow.

"Why?"

"Saw Mason. Didn't want to talk." She said finally back to her normal self, I sigh and shake my head, sitting back down on the seat.

"What?" She asks me and I just shrug. She keeps staring at me, obviously not believing me.

"Why are you with him?" I mumble annoyingly and she rolls her eyes.

"Mitchie, please let's not start this" She turns away, already knowing where this conversation is going. I stand up and grab her shoulder, making her face me.

"Alex you deserve someone so much better. Please realize that." I semi whisper to her and she gives me sad eyes.

"I know. I just, I need time. I just can't do it, not yet" She whispers in an understanding tone. I give her a small smile and nod my head.

"Ok. I'm going to get in the shower, alright." I said while grabbing my towel and clothes.

After taking a ten minute shower, I turned off the water and exited the bath tub. Drying myself off and putting on my clothes. While I was putting on my shirt, a voice other than Alex caught my attention. I place my ear against the door, trying to hear what's going on on the other side. Then I noticed it was Mason and Alex arguing again. I rolled my eyes and finished getting dressed but still stayed in the bathroom, eavesdropping on their fight.

I know it was wrong for me to do so but I just wanted to find out why they're always screaming at each other. With my ear still pressed on the door, I could make out most of their conversation.

"I'm fucking tired of all this shit, of you! Why is Mitchie dragged into this? She's done nothing to you!" I hear Alex scream out. Me? So I was right…

"Ever since you became friends with her, you keep distancing yourself from me! And I'm pissed about it" He responds at the same volume as Alex.

"Well, you know what, I'm done. I'm breaking up with you." I hear Alex say and my eyes opened wide, holy crap she finally did it. After a moment of silence, Mason speaks up.

"Are you kidding me? You're breaking up with me to comfort some psychotic girl, who has nonstop problems?!" Well ouch, that hurt. I decided to open up the door slightly to glimpse at them. Peaking my head out, they still didn't notice me.

"Don't talk about her like that! No, I'm breaking up with you because I don't want a cocky asshole of a guy to be my boyfriend anymore. I deserve way better!" She screams out to him, getting closer to his face. Then the next thing I witnessed, caused my blood to boil. Not giving me any time to process, digging my nails into my palm out of anger, I push open the bathroom door and run right up to him.

_Alex's POV_

"Don't talk about her like that! No, I'm breaking up with you because I don't want a cocky asshole of a guy to be my boyfriend anymore. I deserve way better!" I scream out stepping closer to him. Only two seconds afterwards, I feel a burning sting rising on my left cheek, my mouth opening in pain while I covered the red spot with my left hand. He just slapped me, hard. I was left speechless, with tears falling from my eyes.

Then right away I hear the bathroom door slam open and saw Mitchie running towards us, completely pissed. She shoves Mason with all her force, making him stumble backwards.

"Don't you ever fucking lay a hand on her again! Don't you dare come anywhere near her anymore or I swear I'll be the last person you deal with. Get the fuck out of our room!" She threatened him, shoving him out the door, locking it behind her. Then she turned around with sadness in her eyes and brought me into a hug, causing me to just ball my eyes out.

I started losing function of my body and fell down but with Mitchie still holding me in her arms.

"Hey, it's going to be ok. I'm not letting him come near you anymore. I got you. Shh" She whispered to me, caressing my face. I started slowly calming down, and Mitchie pulled my face to look at her.

"I swear if I see him again, I'm going to kill him" She said angrily, wiping my tears with her thumb. Then I felt her arm reaching underneath my body. She picked me off the ground, with me wrapping my arms around her neck and her arms, keeping me up, bridal style. I ducked my head into her neck as she carried me onto my bed. I tried avoiding the weird sensation I got afterwards, not knowing what was occurring in my head.

She laid me down and walked away from me. Sadness entering me again but quickly left when I saw her come back with a bag of ice. She wiped my tears again, causing me to let out a small smile at the action.

"Here, keep this against your cheek" She said, placing the bag on my cheek, making me flinch at the coldness but eventually warmed up to it. I moved my hand to grab the bag out of her hold, but instead it made its way on top of Mitchie's hand. My hand stayed there for a moment, enjoying the feeling of satisfaction until we both got brought back to reality. We both pulled away and she finally handed me the bag of ice for me to hold it on my cheek myself. I looked down, embarrassingly, but I don't know why.

"C'mon, you need to rest" She said while tugging the blanket underneath me to tuck me in. I rose my body a little to give her more access to grab the covers. Once she did so, I laid back down and she rose the blankets to my chest. I smiled.

"Thank you" I whispered and she gave me a slight smile, looking into my eyes.

"This time it's me saying it" I continued breaking the silence with a small laugh.

"Well both actually. Thank you, for defending me when Mason insulted me" She said with sadness and guilt, she looked down ashamed.

I tilt her chin up to me, confused.

"This is all my fault. You having problems with Mason, him hitting you. It's all on me" She said sadly and I shook my head.

"No it isn't. He's a jerk. It's his fault" I simply said, reaching out for her cheek.

"I'm no better than him. I hurt you that day just like he did, probably even worse" She said closing her eyes, and I immediately sat up.

"Hey, don't think about that. It was an accident. And I one hundred percent forgive you Mitch. You just weren't thinking, but he was. That's the difference. Please don't bring yourself down." I plead, stroking her cheek. She smiled and grabbed my hand that was on her cheek.

"God you deserve so much better. Both relationship and friendship wise" She said and I shook my head once again.

"Yes when it comes to relationship but not when it comes to friendship. I so do not deserve you" I said honestly and she smiled again.

She took my hand in hers and kissed it. But then grabbed my face softly, and kissed my forehead.

"Go to bed. I'll be here throughout the whole time. I love you." She whispered while I still had my eyes closed. Still feeling her lips against my skin. Weirdly enough wishing it lasted longer. She tucked me back in and I turned my body to face the wall opposite of Mitchie. God what is happening with me? I don't know why but hearing those last three words escape her mouth sent shivers through my body. And any contact that she makes with her lips causes me to blush intensely. I need help.

* * *

_**What did you guys think?(:**_

_**A lot of you guys guessed that he was going to hurt Alex so congrats c(:**_

_**Slowly you are seeing Alex enter a different kind of emotions, causing it to be a big problem later on, when she's trying to figure out her situation.**_

_**Spoiler: Next chapter will be a relaxing one(: & we will dive more into what Alex may be feeling. But once again don't keep your hopes up, this story has barely begun(;**_

_**As for the future: This most likely won't be the last time you will read about Mason. And Alex will be meeting Mitchie's parents. **_


	9. Thoughts

**_A/N: Hope this makes up for the shortness of the last chapter(:_**

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. _**

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**_jswizzle1213 - Haha Thank you! And I'll try to shorten the wait time as best as I could(;_**

**_Demenaforever13 - Thank you(:_**

**_Aperson3 - Thanks for the input(:_**

**_Suefanficlover - Thank you! And thanks for sending me that, I'm totally going to use it! I already know the perfect place in the story to put it. Don't worry I'll credit you(: _**

**_Not-Gonna-Happen-Du ude - Thankss, hope this makes up for it(:_**

**_LovezObsessed - Lol yes she does, especially in this chapter(; _**

**_Drlaafje007 - Thank you!(:_**

**_Tomatoes - Thank you for the review and advice, greatly appreciate it(:_**

**_Pretty little fiction321 - Don't worry that's the plan(; and Thank you!_**

**_MyGlitterDreamCloud - Good guesser(;_**

**_Lemoso - Definitely plan on it!(: and Thanks(:_**

**_Trainwreck2212 - Haha thank you very much! And yes I do plan on revealing his suicide reason. No worries c(; _**

**_Guest - Thank you! _**

**_Guest - Lol yes it is. xD_**

**_LikeAStorm - Thank you so much(: and yup you're definitely right /: _**

**_Lovatic254 - xD Thank you! And I plan on to, don't worry(:_**

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_"You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant." _

_― Harlan Ellison_

There's a fine line between one's opinion and one's ignorance. When it comes to your opinion, I will respect it but when it comes to your close-mindedness then I will laugh in your face. That small trait is what distinguishes me and my parents.

Unlike my mom and dad, I have morals of life. Actually let me clear that up more, I have morals of this century. They don't. I'm willing to hear people out and actually put thought into their opinion but not them. They believe in one thing and will not revaluate it for any means. I mean I can respect the devotion but they just go way overboard. They read the fine print and keep it locked in their heads, no time to actually dive into it and try to find a deeper meaning.

For example, if they pick up a newspaper, all they'd pay attention to is the heading or the first sentence of the article. So if it was talking about a conviction, right there they'd agree that the defendant was guilty. As for me, I would continue to elaborate and form my own theory of what may have happened and not automatically believe the sentence that was granted. So you can only imagine how my parents are on religion and reading the Bible. Unreasonable, right?

Once again I'm stuck in the most boring class ever, Bible Study. The only thing keeping me awake and sane is Alex mocking the teacher behind her back. I'm surprised Mrs. Stevens hasn't turned around and called me out on my nonstop laughing. Any moment now I'm not going to be able to hold it in anymore and I'm going to get us both in trouble.

After my constant pleading of making her stop, she obliged and we both got back to the lesson. Well my ears were open, my eyes were down looking at my desk, reading my book. The only form of entertainment I can acquire at the moment.

"Anyways, let's talk about something more important, class. Has anyone been watching the news lately? If so can anyone raise their hand and tell me what long debate has been occurring these past few weeks?" The teacher called out and I looked away from my book, genuinely curious as to where this conversation will be going. Not even twenty seconds later, a girl raised her hand up high, eagerly.

The teacher nodded to the girl to let her talk. "Whether to legalize the option of marriage between homosexuals, ma'am."

"Correct. Now why is this such a big deal for all of us?" Mrs. Stevens continued and I rolled my eyes, looking back at my book.

"Because it is a sin and should not be allowed." Someone else called out, leading to the teacher to discuss sinful homosexual conductivity.

She continued reading verses that applied to the situation, with everyone else agreeing in the background. Except Alex and I. Well mostly me, Alex probably doesn't even know what they're talking about right now. I glimpse at her, and see her drawing in her notebook, resting her head on her hand that's propped up by her elbow.

This goes back to my earlier point, I have my own views on life that may not be agreed on with other people. Personally I think love is love. As cliché as that sounds, it's true. How does two gay men or two lesbian women affect our way of living? It doesn't. The only reason so called Christians bash them is because of what the Bible supposedly says. But they're hypocrites. The Bible also says we can't eat shellfish or pork, so how come we don't follow that rule? Because they're selective who needs to judge, just because homosexuals don't follow their customs.

If they don't affect me, then I could care less what homosexuals do. It's their life, let them live their way. Gay people have the right to be as miserable as everybody else, let them marry for Christ sake's. Not everybody is going to live the same way, open your eyes.

Hm, I wonder what Alex thinks about this. I really hope she doesn't agree with these amateurs.

I didn't notice I was staring out in space until Alex bumped her shoulder into me, gesturing to the small note on my desk. Discretely as I could be, I place it in my book to open it.

_I'm about to pass out. Wanna have a movie night tonight? Pleasee_

I slightly chuckle looking up at Alex who has a puppy dog face on.

_I have to pack and so do you! Thanksgiving break is tomorrow_

I respond and slide the paper back to her, even though today's a Tuesday and we don't have class tomorrow, I'm still getting picked up tomorrow afternoon for the holiday.

_Which is more the reason to have a movie night! And I already packed, c'mon Mitch! I'm going to miss you, I'll help you pack afterwards, I PROMISE! :) _

She responded and I smiled, oh what the hell. I am going to miss her during this long weekend.

_Ugh fine. Tonight. But you better help me pack tomorrow!_

I wrote back and she smiled widely at the note. Bringing me into a hug before the teacher caught us.

_Alex's POV_

School day finally came to an end and I can't wait to get back to my room. I am pretty bummed out that I won't see Mitchie for the long weekend, especially since I'm so used to seeing her every single day, not that I'm complaining or anything. I love spending time with my roommate, I'd prefer hanging out with her than anyone else.

I was crossing the field to get to the dorms but then saw Mason only a couple of feet away. I ducked my head and walked faster, avoiding him, but he caught me.

"Alex!" He screams out and I ignore his gaze and kept walking straight. He steps in front of me causing me to stop mid-way.

"Alex, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to slap you—" He started off and I cut him off.

"Don't! Get the hell away from me" I said while shoving him out of the way but he didn't give up.

"It was your fault anyway!" He screamed out to me and I froze, with my mouth opening in anger. I turn around to face him.

"Are you fucking kidding me! Fuck you Mason. Stop following me!" I yell out to him pissed and start running to my room.

I enter my dorm and immediately see Mitchie rush to me, worried.

"Hey what happened? Why are you crying?" She starts asking. I didn't even realize I was crying until she pointed it out. But I wasn't in tears because I was sad but because I was furious. I shake my head and make my way to the bed.

"Did someone hurt you?" She asks me and I shake my head again wiping my tears. She looks at me for a couple of seconds and I saw her fist ball up.

"Mason talked to you, didn't he?" She says furiously and I duck my head, I didn't want to deny it because it was true. I stayed quiet.

"Alex!" She yells out and I close my eyes, nodding my head slowly. Without any time to lift my head, I see Mitchie rush outside. I quickly followed behind her, calling out her name but she didn't listen to me. I was finally able to reach her once she stopped in the middle of the field, turning her head in every direction.

"Mitchie what are you looking for?" I ask worriedly but then she started running again, this time I saw her running to Mason. Shit.

"What did I say!? Stay the hell away from her!" She screamed out to him, and he looked up to see where it came from. Then he noticed I was right behind. He didn't have a chance to respond as Mitchie's foot made contact in between his leg. I covered my mouth in shock, trying to hold in my laughter as I saw him fall to the ground, holding his crotch, and his friends laughing all around.

She whispered something in his ear while he was trying to hold in his screams and then started walking away, with me following behind. We didn't say anything until we reached the room. Out of nowhere she pulled me into a hug, and immediately I relaxed into her.

"Thank you." I simply said and she laughed.

"No big deal. I just don't want him anywhere near you anymore" She said looking at me and I smiled. Our eyes staring into each other and I started feeling differently towards her. I couldn't explain it. She kissed my cheek and jumped on her bed. I froze for a while, most likely with my face going red.

"So how about that movie?" She asks patting the side next to her on her bed while grabbing her laptop. I swallowed nervously and felt my hands getting sweaty. What the hell?

"Um yeah. Let's see a comedy" I suggested and sat next to her. Her bed was in a corner, so she sat against the wall while I was on the open side.

She picked out a Tyler Perry movie and I was getting the popcorn ready. We started watching the movie, both of us lying down on the same bed, with the laptop and popcorn separating us. She seemed to be very entertained by the film, almost every five minutes she'd let out a laugh. I did the same but only after she did it, following the flow. I wasn't really paying attention to the movie, I kept finding myself just staring at Mitchie.

I started observing every feature of her face. The way she laughed was like music to my ears, it would always make my day and make me smile. And her smile, god I never saw such a bright and wide smile. My eyes moved down to her lips, I loved how randomly she'd bite her tongue when she was about to laugh. It was like a warning sign.

"Lex?" I get pulled out of my thoughts from Mitchie. Shit she just caught me staring at her.

"Huh, what?" Oh that definitely makes it better. I shake my head internally.

"I asked if you wanted a drink" She continued and I shook my head. Then she got up and grabbed a coke, sitting back down.

We continued with the movie and I tried my hardest to not stare at her anymore. I reach to grab some popcorn and made contact with Mitchie's hand. Instantly I pulled away and apologized, causing her to laugh, shaking her head. She grabbed a hand full of popcorn and one by one, threw it inside her mouth. I found myself staring again but quickly shook it off and grabbed some for myself.

Once the movie finished, we played another one, this one was a romance. Internally I sighed, I hate romance movies. Halfway through, Mitchie shifted her body and laid her head on my lap. I tensed up and nervously licked my lips. My stomach started getting a tingly feeling inside it. I left my hands in place, what should I do with them? Leave them there uncomfortable or move them?

I decided to leave them but then started getting irritated. My hands starting to get numb and sore being underneath all the weight, I couldn't hold it in anymore. I remove my hands from where they were and placed one on Mitchie's head. Slowly stroking her hair and the other one laying on her hip. At first I felt her jump, probably because I surprised her but then she relaxed into the touch. I continued the gesture, slowly calming down a bit. Our night continued, movie after movie.

* * *

I let out a yawn, rubbing my eyes. As I opened them I notice I was still in Mitchie's bed, with her passed out. I look down at my hands and my position and my eyes sling wide open. I was basically spooning her from behind. At the realization I jumped up, removing my arm that was draped around Mitchie, and ended up falling to the ground.

Hitting the floor with a loud thud and a grunt from me, rubbing my head, Mitchie woke up.

"Oh my god, are you okay Alex? Did I push you off? I'm so sor—" She rambled on worriedly, helping me stand up off the ground. I let out a small nervous laugh.

"Yeah I'm okay, and no I'm just um clumsy. Totally my fault" I reassured her and she let out a breath of relief, laughing.

"Well since we fell asleep last night, you have to help me pack right now" She said while throwing her suitcase onto the bed. Internally I sigh, realizing she's leaving in a couple of hours. I did as I promised and helped her pack.

After finishing, she hopped in the shower before her parents got here. I'm kind of curious to see how her parents are since I never met them. An hour later, she got ready and I heard a knock at the door. In the corner of my eye I saw Mitchie roll her eyes, must not be a fan. I get up and unlocked the door, opening it to find who I assume was her parents.

"Hello, you must be Mitchie's roommate" Her mom greeted me with a handshake.

"Mhm, hi my name's Alex" I said nicely shaking both their hands. They turned to face Mitchie who was just sitting on her bed.

"You're ready to go?" Her dad asks and she shrugs, getting up, grabbing her suitcase.

"How's it been here?" Her mom asks and Mitchie doesn't reply but instead turns to me. Bringing me into a tight hug.

"I'll miss you. Hope you have a fun Thanksgiving" She whispered into my ear causing me to smile.

"I'll miss you too. And back at ya. See you on Sunday" I told her and we finally pulled away with a smile on both of our faces. She exited the room with her parents still not saying anything to them. Huh weird.

I lay back down on my bed looking at my watch, two more hours until my parents come, great. And to top it off, Mitchie just left only five minutes ago and I found myself thinking of her. God what the hell is going on with me.

May these few days past by fast. I'm starting to have withdrawals.

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_***Mitchie Withdrawals(;**_

_**What did you guys think? Please review below(:**_

_**No more Mason, for now. **_

_**Spoilers: There will be fast forwarding for the next chapter and the one afterwards to get to my main plot. Alex and Mitchie reunite! Alex gets curious about a specific thing and she encounters a very uncomfortable situation. Most likely be friendship fluff for the next chapter.**_

_** As for the future, god I'm so excited xD Let's just say the major drama will be occurring right after winter break(; So until chapter 11 or 12, still not sure. That's where things will get very interesting. Be prepared! **_


	10. You Found Me

**_A/N: I'm really happy that no one has yet to flip out on the pace that I am going with this story. But I know eventually you guys will break but please be patient. Since from the beginning I stated that I will not rush this. It'll be worth it, I hope c(: _**

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. _**

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_"A friend drops their plans when you're in trouble, shares joy in your accomplishments, feels sad when you're in pain. A friend encourages your dreams and offers advice-but when you don't follow it, they still respect and love you." _

_― Doris Wild Helmering_

These past days have been dreadful. Not only have I gotten use to actually talking again, I had to slip back to my old self where I didn't say a word to my parents. In so many occasions, I kept fighting myself to not yell out shut up to them when all they did was talk nonsense. They kept trying to ask how I was doing, if I've been getting better but all I replied was with the rolling of my eyes. The only person I had patience with and tolerated was my older sister Dallas.

When my parents arrived home, the first thing I did was jump in her arms. The ache of missing her was killing me. I have always been close to her from the day I was born. We have this love and hate relationship but in the end of the day we will crawl back into each other's arms. I told her about everything that was going on, at first she was really worried. She was scared for me to be surrounded by more bullies but I kept reassuring her that I was doing just fine. Then I told her all about Alex. Every detail and event that has occurred with her, my sister just went into a big grin while listening. She was probably just ecstatic that I found a new friend that I could open up to. It was understandable.

Though, I just wish my Thanksgiving would have turned out better but I'll take what I can get. Right now I'm just anxious to go back to school, mostly just to see Alex again. It's been way too long of being apart, so unjustifiable. Thank god for her, she was my form of calmness during the break. All we did was practically text nonstop, and I loved it. The good thing is that when Dallas found out about my phone being smashed, she right away bought me a new one. At first I kept refusing to take it but she said to think of it as an early Christmas present, so I finally accepted the gift.

I didn't even know I had Alex's number memorized by heart until I became desperate to speak to her again. I feel my phone vibrate underneath me and I pulled it out.

_That sucks. :/ Even though I'll arrive in about half an hour, I still didn't want to wait any longer to see you. _

I smirked at the text Alex sent me. I told her that I wasn't going to make it to our campus until the evening but I was actually lying. Dallas convinced my parents to drop me off Sunday morning and it was a surprise that they actually listened to her. I really just wanted to go back to my dorm and wait for Alex instead of her being there alone for two hours until I 'supposedly' came back. It's sweet that she's sad but I know she'll cheer up when I surprise her.

_Sorry :/ but you won't have to wait so long. I'll make it there about two hours after you do, so it's not that bad. _

I replied nonchalantly and looked out the window. I knew where we were meaning we were only fifteen minutes away. I couldn't hide how happy I was anymore, ugh I can't wait till we get there. After anxiously viewing the road and streets, the car came to a stop and immediately I hopped out.

"Do you need help with your luggage?" My mom asks and I quickly shake my head, taking my stuff out the back.

"Well ok, bye sweetie, love you" She called out waving, and I just gave a small sarcastic smile, walking away with her driving back home.

I entered my room and breathed in the fresh aroma, smiling. I dragged my luggage to the corner of the room that wasn't visible by the entrance and hid my guitar in the closet. I decided to bring my guitar with me this time, maybe it'll help me out whenever I'm stressed or down. Plus I've missed playing it, I'm scared I'll end up forgetting the basic chords.

My phone vibrates again and I pull it out, laying on my bed.

_I guess. I'm actually pulling up at the front entrance right now. _

She replies and I instantly sat up on the corner of my bed. Not texting her back and just keeping my eyes on the door like a creeper. After a couple of minutes I heard the doorknob jiggle and I inhaled a deep breath, biting my lip. It opened up slightly and I saw Alex's back pushing up against the door, pulling her bag inside. She finally turns her body facing inside and I stood up. For a moment she stayed still with her mouth slightly opened but then dropped everything and ran to me.

"Oh my god! You're so mean!" She yells out to me, crushing my bones in a tight hug. I chuckled and held on tighter.

"That's it? No I've missed you?" I teased and she laughed.

"Of course I've missed you. Ugh so much" She tells me and I smile, still not letting go of her.

"I've missed you too, a lot" I said and finally pulled away kissing her cheek. My eyes must be deceiving me, because I swear I saw a small blush on her cheek afterwards, yeah right, I'm just going crazy.

I helped her unpack her bag as she did with me. We kept talking and laughing, falling on her bed, laying down stomach first next to each other. It was amazing to just feel so peaceful around her again.

"Well I'm starving and I know you are too. So how about I go pick up some pizza and we'll continue our pointless conversations" She said while getting up from the bed and picking up her wallet. I laughed.

"Ugh fine, but I'm going to take a shower alright" I replied and she nodded, heading out. I grabbed my towel and entered the bathroom.

I tried not to take as long as usual so I quickly rinsed out my hair. I stepped out of the shower and dried myself off with the towel, then proceeded with my hair. I started looking around the bathroom and noticed I left my clothes on my bed. Crap. I opened the door slightly and saw that Alex still hasn't come back. I take the opportunity to rush towards my bed and put on my underwear. I knew Alex takes forever to get the food so I stayed out and took off my towel, wrapping it around my head instead.

I went to my closet and picked out different clothes to wear, since I wasn't satisfied with what was already my first choice. I grabbed my body lotion and started applying the substance on my arms to my stomach and to my legs. Lifting one leg up on the bed to get better access.

"Pizza time!—Holy shit" Alex screams with her eyes wide open and I screamed yanking the towel off my head and covering my half naked body.

_Alex's POV_

"Pizza time!—Holy shit" I scream out frozen in place, not being able to take my eyes off her body. There she was, my roommate in her underwear, with one leg up seductively. Shit Shit Shit!

"I'm um so sorry, I didn't see anything!" I yell out and right away covered my eyes with my right hand, turning around to come in contact with the door, making myself fall backwards. Nice one.

"Alex!" She yells out worried and I stand up quickly, embarrassed out of my mind, rubbing my forehead.

"Fuck, I'll be outside" I says nervously and finally open the door, walking out.

I close my eyes and run my fingers through my hair, breathing out.

"Shit" I whisper to myself. I can't believe I just walked in on Mitchie. But the worst part wasn't that I saw her half naked but that I don't even feel bad. What the fuck. I can't get that image out of my head. I start hitting my head trying to clear my thoughts. For a so called outcast, Mitchie has a really nice body… oh my god shut up Alex!

"Um, you can come in now" I hear her say nervously through the door and slowly I opened it, walking back in, looking at the floor. I swallowed and sat on my bed, not facing her.

"I'm sorry that my idiotic-self decided to change in the open" She let out and I shook my head, finally looking at her but went straight back down again. I keep imagining her half naked. Fuck.

"No I'm sorry for not knocking, I should have remembered that you were taking a shower" I said guiltily and she laughed causing me to look up confused.

"Can we please forget what just happened and not make this awkward between us" She said with a smile, grabbing my hand. I swallowed at the contact and smiled back at her, finally able to see her current image right now.

"Forget what?" I say jokingly and she grinned, standing up.

"I'm so happy that pizza came in a cardboard box or we wouldn't be able to eat anything" She said while picking up the box I dropped on the floor. I laughed and let out a breath of relief at the non-awkwardness.

We continued our normal day, talking casually, eating and watching some movie, laying on the floor because we became too lazy to get up. Then an old thought came to mind. During break I've been curious to ask her something but I didn't want to do it over text.

"Mitch?" I call out and she turns to face me.

"Yeah?" She says and I bite my lip.

"Can I ask you something? It may be personal" I reply and she gives me a weird look but finally nods her head. I sit up and she did the same, pausing the movie.

"You know that time your parents came to pick you up…" I start off and she nods again.

"How come you didn't say a word to them?" I let out and her expression falls, looking back down.

"If it's something really personal you don't have to tell me, I was just curious" I said and she shook her head.

"No it's ok. I just don't talk to my parents anymore." She simply said and my eyebrows rose, shocked.

"What do you mean? Like not at all? Not a word?" I say and she presses her lips together, shaking her head, whispering a 'nope'.

"Since when.." I ask and she looks back at me.

"A little after Shane died, the day of his funeral." She replied sadly and I stayed quiet. Not sure if it was my business to ask why.

"After the funeral was over, my parents were talking about how much of a sin he committed because he killed himself and that he's going to hell" She continued, already reading my mind. I stayed quiet again, not knowing how to respond. That's rough.

"It pissed me off to the max, that even on the day of his funeral, she still has the audacity to bring religion into it. That's all she talks about, that's who she is. And it's starting to get really annoying how close minded my parents are. So from that day on, I've yet to say a word to them" She finished off and I grabbed her hand.

"I completely understand. My parents are the same. I mean I don't have a problem with religion but the way they take it, just gets out of hand. It's like I was forced into believing something that for all I know I may not really believe in" I replied and she smiled.

"Exactly. I have my own relationship with religion, just not the same way they do" She said and I squeezed her hand.

"Exactly." I repeated and we both just stayed there looking at each other, not in an awkward way but in a way as if knowing exactly how we thought. We eventually pulled apart and laid back down, continuing the movie.

The film itself wasn't boring but I just wasn't that entertained. The next scene came up and a song I recognized started playing in the background.

"Ah—" I start off

"I love this song" Both me and Mitchie said at the same time. We glanced at each other and laughed at the coincidence.

The song continued, it was You Found Me by The Fray, one of the most amazing songs I've ever listened to. It started coming to an end which is where the two main characters turned around and brought each other into a love-filled kiss. I heard Mitchie let out an 'Aww' but I wasn't paying attention to the movie anymore but instead was staring at her during that scene. She noticed and turned to face me too.

"What?" She said with a smirk, and I pulled my eyes off of her, turning back to the screen, shaking my head with a genuine smile.

"Nothing." I whispered.

* * *

_**When will Alex just come to terms? Smh c(: **_

_**Hoped you guys liked it, please leave inputs. If any of you guys have some suggestions, I'll gladly look into it(:**_

_**Spoiler: Skipping ahead a month. Almost time to say goodbye again for winter break ): But do you guys know what that means? No? Drama time(; **_

_**As for the future, things start to change, as nothing ever stays the same. Most likely in chapter 12, Mitchie will hit a bumpy road and she's had enough. Then in chapter 13, once they return back, Alex starts witnessing it. **_


	11. Fear vs Courage

**_A/N: Yes I suck, I'm sorry I took longer than usual to update but either way here you guys go(: _**

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot._**

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**_Lovatic254 - Haha and _****_thank you for reading! xD_**

**_lovaticfamily11 - Agreed. Demi and Selena are just perf. c(:_**

**_Demenaforever13 - I'm glad people are anxious for the future(:_**

**_Trainwreck2212 - xD Lmao I'm happy you enjoyed that scene, it only made sense, especially when you read this chapter. And Thank youu(: _**

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**_Guest - Aww thank you(: and I'm really glad! It's a relief for me since I was so worried that people wouldn't. _**

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**_Guest - Why must Alex be so hardheaded? ;D I feel your pain Lmao _**

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**_Chase - Sorry took long/: but here you go(:_**

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_"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."  
— Frank Herbert_

No matter how many times I read that quote, I just can't get it through my head. The more I scan it, the less I believe in it. I'm scared. I'm terrified. You know how they say 'You never know what you have until it's gone', that wasn't my case at all. I've always knew exactly what I had right in front of me, when I had Shane, but I wasn't able to value it as much as I should have. Instead of being more thankful for that gift, I was in denial and fear through it all. I kept neglecting all the kind gestures he did because I was denying the fact that he was genuinely there for me. I was also in fear. In fear of him realizing I wasn't worth anything and just leave me, in fear of losing him.

I should have never done that, I should have lived in the moment and appreciate his presence but I didn't. And in the end, I did lose him. I lost the best thing I had in my life, and my biggest regret was that I never embraced it. I never embraced him because my fears got in the way.

I have fears. I'm a human. And I might just have to find a way to overcome it for the next two weeks. I'm freaking out because I'm clueless on how this winter break will end up going. It's going to be the first Christmas that I don't get to celebrate with Shane. The first Christmas where I'll be all alone again. And I'm scared because I don't know if I'll be able to handle it.

But I have a new fright. How am I going to survive this train wreck without Alex? How am I going to handle being away from her for so long? These past months, she's been my rock. She's been there right by my side whenever I needed her.

Which is why I changed my ways. I am not going to repeat the same mistake I did with Shane. I am valuing each individual second, each individual moments with her. I'm not going to lose her. I won't allow myself too. Not anymore. She's my best friend.

I'm sitting down on a bench, looking down at my song book. I couldn't think of anything to write down, frustrated I get up and start walking around. It was a beautiful day, but I knew it would turn out worse once I get picked up again. I reach a little pond and spotted a frog, on the edge of where both water and land start to meet. He noticed my presence and jumped into the water, causing ripples to form.

I looked at the water, slowly the image started clearing up. I saw my reflection. I saw the girl that everyone sees me as. The one who's to careless to dress up, to do her hair, the one who hides behind make up to cover her own hurt. I saw my insecurities on the surface of the water. I kick the dirt underneath my feet into the pond, blurring up the use-to-be-me image, and started walking back to my room.

On the way there words popped into my head. I was already in the hallway so I lean on the wall, taking out my notebook and pencil.

"I'm losing myself, Trying to compete, With everyone else, Instead of just being me, Don't know where to turn, I've been stuck in this routine, I need to change my ways, Instead of always being weak…" I recite it while writing it down and continue to walk inside the building.

_Alex's POV_

I don't understand how Mitchie can do this for hours every day. I'm dying right now. I groan and shut the book closed, throwing it to the edge of my bed. I hate reading, always have. It's just so boring, five minutes in and I feel like falling to a deep sleep. I'll only pick up a book if I can't sleep at night, it's like my own knockout pill.

"Ugh where's Mitchie?" I mutter to myself sitting up on my bed. I let out a laugh and rolled my eyes to myself.

"One hour apart and I'm already so lost. Man get a hold of yourself" I continue and slam the pillow on my head. How am I supposed to survive two weeks? I'm going to bug the crap out of her every single day just because I'll feel both bored and lonely. Hopefully she doesn't get that annoyed. Ugh it's only eleven in the morning, great.

I stand up and start walking in circles, purposeless. I realize what I'm doing and stop myself from continuing. I'm going to create some kind of draft here I swear.

"I need a coffee." I say to myself and grab my purse. I walk up to the door, reaching to grab the handle but right away it turns the opposite direction. Without time to process, the door opens from outside, slamming my face causing me to fall backwards. Are you kidding me? I hate this door.

"Alex! Oh my god, I'm so sorry" She kneels in front of me, obviously trying to fight the urge to break into laughter.

"Why are you always getting hit by the door?" She starts laughing and I give her a glare.

"We need a new door or I need to start wearing a helmet" I said trying to hide my embarrassment. I hold my nose in my hand, feeling around to make sure it's not broken.

"Is my face now ruined?" I ask jokingly and she rolls her eyes, but tilts my head up to inspect my face.

"Well you're not bleeding so that's a good sign" She says. Then her fingers lay flat on my cheek, I start to feel my skin burn underneath her touch. I tilt my head down to look at her, I couldn't pull away this time, but neither did she. I got lost in her beautiful brown eyes, as an instinct my hand reached for her hand that was on my cheek. It landed on top of hers, and I grabbed it, running my thumb along the back of her hand.

Some students started walking past the room laughing at something the other one said. We both realized the door was still open and exited our trance back to reality. She pulled her hand away quickly, clearing her throat and standing up. I immediately looked away from her and got up too, dusting myself off.

"Um I was going to go get some coffee, do you want anything?" I ask, picking my purse off the ground. She shook her head and I finally left the dorm.

I don't know what the hell just happened back there but I'm in a desperate need for caffeine right now.

* * *

I stayed at the coffee shop, drinking my coffee in peace. Trying to get my minds off things.

At last, I decided to go back to the room, I was approaching my room and was about ready to open the door until I heard the strumming of a guitar inside. I was confused as it is, because I never recalled having a guitar inside nor does the sound seem to come from the radio. Then I heard a voice singing. It was heaven in my ears. I became curious, I didn't know who had such a beautiful voice, maybe it's one of Mitchie's classmate or something. Slowly and silently I open the door to create a small distance. Only enough for me to see inside.

It was Mitchie. She was playing her guitar with her eyes closed, singing softly. I felt my jaw drop because I never knew she had such a gift. My heart started racing at the perfect noise. But I quickly got out of my high and paid back attention to her. To her words.

"I don't wanna be afraid, I wanna wake up feeling beautiful..today, And know that I'm okay, Cause everyone's perfect in unusual ways, So you see, I just wanna believe in me…" She sang in a voice filled with hurt. Then I saw tears emerge from her eyes. I started getting sad at the scene in front of me. I never knew she thought so low of herself. How could she not realize how beautiful she really is?

"The mirror can lie, Doesn't show you what's inside, And it, it can tell you you're full of life, It's amazing what you can hide, Just by putting on a smile…" She continued and I found it harder to listen. To listen to her feelings because I never thought they were like that. She's trying to find her inner confidence, her inner courage that was hidden by her insecurities. I couldn't take it anymore.

I push the door open, walking inside. Mitchie jumps up, immediately pushing the guitar to the side of her, closing the notebook that was in front of her. She kept her head down, trying to hide the tears but I walked up to her and brought her into a hug.

"How long were you standing there?" She asks worriedly and I pull away to look at her sad expression.

"Long enough." I simply said and wiped the falling tears with my thumb. I shake my head and kiss her forehead.

"Mitchie, you're so beautiful. Don't you ever think less. You're breathtakingly gorgeous, and I wish you could just believe me." I whispered to her and she gives me a forced smile. She doesn't respond and stays in my arms.

"Thank you Alex." She let out and I hugged her tighter. She pulled away and gave me a genuine smile.

"I believe in you." I state honestly and her smiles grows wider and she blushes, noticing it was from the song she just sang. She eventually calmed herself and we were in a comfortable silence, laying on her bed staring at the ceiling. A sudden memory entered me and I began to build up some courage inside me. Either she'll accept the compliment or think I'm a creep. I'm in a ballsy mood so I call her name out.

She turns to face me and I do the same.

"You know what I don't understand?" I start off and she raises an eyebrow.

"How you can have such low self-esteem when it shouldn't even be a problem. You hide yourself in your insecurities because you don't have enough confidence to express yourself. But in reality anyone can feel attracted to you, I mean seriously…" I start getting closer to her face and a smirk forms on my lips.

"…you have an extremely hot body, especially when you're only in your underwear." I wink at her and I saw her eyes widen at my confession. I laugh at the shade of pink her face starts to become and I pull away, getting up and sitting on my bed. Then I felt my heart go back to normal after the fast pace it was in due to my nervousness. Well she didn't seem that freaked out so I guess it was ok, maybe? I wonder if she got out of her frozen expression, hm.

* * *

I hear a knock at the door and saw Mitchie listening to her Ipod with headphones in. I get up and open it to find my parents standing there bringing me into a hug. Crap I forgot today both Mitchie and I are getting picked up for winter break. Great.

They walked inside and I noticed Mitchie had her headphones out and was now standing, watching my parents come in. She seemed kind of nervous, well it is the first time she's meeting my parents.

"Mom, dad, this is Mitchie" I introduce my parents to my roommate, and see them exchange smiles and handshakes.

"So this is the famous roommate, we've heard so much about you" My mom greets and I see Mitchie blush and I started getting embarrassed.

"Mom." I whisper sternly to her giving her a glare to stop talking. Mitchie noticed and she laughed, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Likewise. It's a pleasure to finally meet you" She responded kindly, winking at me. Almost right away I ducked my way to try to hide the blush that formed.

My dad grabbed my suitcase and headed out with my mom following, leaving Mitchie and I alone.

"What time is your sister picking you up?" I ask with a sad smile, she starts to rub her arm.

"Um she said she'll be here in a couple of minutes or something, no biggy." She replied and I nodded.

"Oh ok. Well I'm going to miss you—" I started off and she rolled her eyes bringing me into a hug. I smiled into her shoulder.

"I'll miss you too Lex." She whispered to me.

"You're going to do just fine. Whenever you feel slight emotional, pick up the phone and call me or text me, whatever you want. And I'll answer right away. You can do this." I whispered to her, remembering our earlier conversation about it being her first Christmas without Shane. She nods and pulls away with a smile.

"We're texting every day, got it?" She demanded and I laughed nodding.

"Yes ma'am!" I said jokingly and she shoves my shoulder. She kisses my cheek and whispers her goodbye to me, sending me shivers through my body once again. Ok she doesn't get to embarrass me and get away with it, even though she doesn't know the unusual electricity that enters my body when she does that but_ still._

I start treading out the door but turn around slightly.

"Goodbye sexy" I call out to her and continue to walk. God I wish I could have seen her face expression.

I entered my car and right away wore my headphones and blasted my music. I only left about twenty minutes ago and I already felt the urge to text her, but then it'll make me seem like a clingy friend. Weirdly enough I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I pull it out and turned it on to find a text.

_Mitchie: _

_Come back and save me, please? _

I instantly fell into a huge grin, looks like she already got picked up.

_Trust me, if I could I would in a heartbeat. _

I replied and laid my head against the window, closing my eyes. And of course thinking of my best friend. This is so not normal.

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_**There's a little glimpse of what will be happening in the very near future in this chapter. It has to do with Alex's teasing, keep that in mind(;**_

_**What did you guys think? Review please(:**_

_**Spoiler: Christmas Break Time. This doesn't necessarily mean a good thing. Mitchie comes in contact with her past and she doesn't know what to do anymore. Any predictions?**_

_**As for the future, most likely for the next two chapters I'm only going to write in Mitchie's POV. So you guys aren't going to know what's up with Alex until after Winter Break is over(; So Chapter 13 of 14. Bare with me guys, things will start getting very interesting after both girls come back.**_

_**Side Note: As you can tell, by how long I'm taking for the friendship and feelings to develop, I hope it's somewhat obvious this story will be a pretty long multi chapter. Most likely longer than how Complicated Love turned out. But don't worry, you guys won't have to wait so long for the feelings to get involved, that's only a couple of chapters away(; this will be a long story because I have many things up my sleeve. And if you don't know by now, that just means drama is my forte. c(;**_


	12. Past, Present, & Future

**_A/N: Didn't take so long to post this (: To make up for my delay of the last chapter. Hope you guys like it._**

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. _**

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**_I just love you guys! Every time I read your reviews I either smile or laugh like a crazy person(: Thank you guys so much for the support and input!_**

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_"Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home." _

_― Edith Sitwell_

Just because that saying is valid, doesn't mean I'll be able to get exactly that. These people around me aren't my family. They're strangers to me. They don't care about my existence, they care about the food that's being served. My friendly hand isn't here, which makes this experience even worse. I wish Alex was right beside me, she'd know how to cheer me up. My only comfort right now is my sister, I'm surprised she hasn't gotten tired of me.

I don't understand why everyone's here right now, Christmas Eve is tomorrow. Can they just go away and come back on the desired time? All they do is come up to me and ask if I'm doing better, but not because they're really interested, but because they need a reason to judge me even more. If only my parents would have never informed my family about my instabilities and just kept it to themselves, maybe then I wouldn't mind them being here. There's too many hypocrites in one room, I can't take it anymore. I'm being suffocated, I need to get out.

"Hey, I'm going to take a walk outside, I'll be back." I whispered to Dallas and she nodded, handing me my coat.

I slipped out from the back entrance so I wouldn't get questioned by others. I started walking at a normal pace down the side walk, not having a specific destination. With each exhale that exits my mouth or nose, being visible to me in the cold air. Passing by the cars that are parked, you can see the frozen windows. I see myself slowly approaching a pebble on the ground and I kick it. As I was about to continue, I feel my phone vibrate in my back pocket.

_Alex: "I may not always be with you, But when we're far apart, Remember you will be with me, Right inside my heart" _

My dull expression immediately turns into a grin, noticing she sent me a quote from the book I was reading.

_THE Alex Russo read 'Poems from the Heart'? Well isn't that a pleasant surprise_

I texted back and right away got a response.

_Alex: Let's not get crazy over here, I looked it up on the internet ;) _

I laughed while reading it, there's the Alex I know. Just two texts and my mood was already brought up.

_Me: Well aren't you a charmer? :P _

_Alex: I try to be. Are you already missing me? _

I rolled my eyes at her response, just imagining her smirk right now.

_Me: Oh yes, I'm dying from the inner yearning. _

_Alex: Don't get sassy with me :P you see I'll man up and admit that I've been missing you like crazy. Just cause I'm nice like that._

I'm partially happy that she's not next to me to witness the small blush that formed on my cheek while reading her small confession. Before I had the chance to reply, she sent another text.

_Alex: Anyways, has anyone else walked in on you half naked? Or is it still just me ;)_

_Me: Haha, very funny. But no just you. Why, are you worried that someone else will be able to see all of this? _

_Alex: Oh yeah, extremely worried. Then I won't feel special anymore. So let's keep it that way, shall we?_

_Me: I don't know, how are you sure that I'm not half naked right now? And at any moment someone will just barge into the room? _

_Alex: … Are you really? _

_Me: Lex! Oh my god. LOL no! _

_Alex: Darn, and I was about to ask for a picture. _

She responds and my eyes go wide. Oh my god this girl I swear.

_Me: Ok I'm so done with this conversation right now. Moving on! LOL_

_Alex: Why? Am I making you nervous? ;P _

I rolled my eyes again at her text, but before I had the chance to reply I bumped into someone. Making us both fall. I stood up and was about ready to apologize until my eyes fell on the girl. She was about ready to yell at me until she took notice on who I was. Her smile went into a devious grin and my eyes went bigger.

"Torres? Nice seeing you again" She starts talking and I started getting angry again, instantly I ducked my head and kept walking past her.

"Hey whore I was talking to you!" She screamed out but I kept ignoring her. I was so relieved to turn back around and not see her following me. Right when I thought my day was clearing up, I just had to bump into Tess. The girl who made everyone else bully me at my old school just because Shane rejected her. The one who severely remodeled my face when she noticed Shane left school early. Most awfully, the one who caused me to start harming myself.

* * *

_"Boy get a plate! Stop digging your hands in the food" My aunt said while jokingly smacking the back of his head. _

_"But aunt Cher! That takes too long, Mrs. Torres' food is too delicious to just be plastered on a plastic plate" Shane whines back and my aunt rolls her eyes, handing him a plate. I laughed at the exchange of words, I loved how great him and my family got along, they always accepted him with open arms. _

_He served himself his portion of the food and sat down next to me. Stuffing his face with smashed sweet potatoes like it was the last bit there was. He grabbed another spoonful but instead looked at me. _

_"Want some?" He asks with the spoon in the air, I shake my head and he gives me an 'are-you-serious' look. _

_"You know you want somee! C'mon open your mouth!" He started teasing while mimicking an airplane with the spoon. I laughed and shook my head again. He kept on teasing and I knew he wasn't going to give up anytime soon. Reluctantly I opened my mouth and he fed me the food. I'm not going to lie, it did taste good. He laughed at my expression, noticing that I enjoyed my mom's cooking. _

_My grandpa approached us and put a hand on Shane's shoulder. _

_"When are you two love birds just going to start dating? You're not getting any younger" He says at both of us, but mostly towards Shane. I rolled my eyes knowing it was a waste of time if we explain to him the concept of best friends. Since he was so sure that we're going to end up together in the future. Shane turns to face me slightly and winks at me, putting his arm around me. _

_"I'm trying grandpa Eddy. But she's playing hard to get" Shane tells my grandpa and he just smiles happily, leaving us alone. When he departed, I punched Shane's shoulder. _

_"Um Ow?" He says while rubbing his shoulder. I give him a glare and he laughs. _

_"I was just kidding, god. You already know he wasn't going to leave if I didn't agree with him." Shane responds and I rolled my eyes laughing. I knew that both of us only saw each other as siblings, it's just that he's always giving the wrong impression to my family. And I'm the one stuck with their constant begging and teasing about me and my best friend. _

_"Say Ah!" Shane says and I did as I was told, to have another spoonful of sweet potatoes with melted marshmallows enter my mouth. _

I was fighting myself inside, trying my best not to cry. Reminiscing my time with Shane at our Christmas party just last year. God I miss him so much, I can only imagine how the Gray's are taking it this year. I feel a hand rub my back up and down. I shift to see my sister with a sad smile, bringing me into a hug.

"It's going to be ok. I'll be right here when you need me." She whispered to me and I nodded. Soothing down a bit at her gesture. We pull away and she wipes a tear that fell from my eye.

"Go call Alex. I bet she'll cheer you up" Dallas suggested and I smiled, realizing she was right. I nodded and got up from the living room couch, grabbing my phone, and entering my use to be bedroom. Now it's just a room filled with my parent's junk that they couldn't find space for. I lock the door behind me and laid on the carpeted ground. I entered my address book on my phone and clicked on the first name on the list. Since she was the only person in my contact list who starts with the letter A, made it so much easier.

Barely three rings passed and the other line was answered.

"I knew you couldn't resist me any longer" Alex says lowly into the phone causing me to let out a giggle.

"Whatever. I'm starting to have second thoughts on whether it was the best decision to call you instead." I say into the phone and she lets out a gasp.

"Nooo! I'm sorry. Don't hang up! I've missed hearing your voice..." She says but then I hear her curse underneath her breath in a whisper.

"What happened?" I ask worriedly.

"Huh? Oh no, um I just tripped on my own feet" She said a little unsure but I decided not to question it any longer. Unintentionally I sighed into the phone looking up at the ceiling.

"How's it been?" She asks with a sad tone.

"I don't know, awful I guess. I just miss him. It's not the same without him anymore. And my family being around isn't making my situation any better." I replied and I heard her sigh into the phone too.

"I wish you were here with me." I continued honestly. Normally I wouldn't admit that to her since she'll tease me into saying it again but it just left my mouth unknowingly.

"Yeah so do I. But don't worry just a couple more days left. Just keep holding on. It's going to be alright."

I really hope both her and Dallas are right. God hopefully these days past by quicker.

"I don't think I'll be able to hold on any longer. It's killing me." I whispered into the phone.

"And it's killing me when I hear you say those things. C'mon Mitch, you are so much stronger than I am, just push past all the memories, all the hate, all the judging. And stop trying to go through it alone. You have both me and your sister right next to you. And I've already told you a million times, to call me whenever. No matter if it's cause you're feeling weak again or even if you're just bored. Call me and I'll answer, during any time of the day. Twenty-four seven." She says into the phone, and I finally let out a genuine smile.

"Thank you. I don't even want to imagine what I'd do if I didn't have you to help me."

"Good, don't ever think about that because you have me, now and for the future." She says in an honest tone.

"Forever?" I ask with a little doubt. I can't ever lose her, I just can't. No matter what.

"Forever. I promise." She whispers to me and I smile, still not knowing what to respond.

"Mitch?" She asks into the phone after the few seconds of silence.

"Yeah?"

"Merry Christmas." She simply says and I take the phone off my ear to check the time. 12:01 am. I put the phone on my ear again.

"Merry Christmas Alex." I respond and we say our goodbyes, hanging up the phone. I set my phone on my chest, smiling up at the ceiling. Then I heard a knock on my door. I get up and open it.

"Someone dropped off a present for you on the doorsteps" Dallas said while handing me the gift. I nod and take it inside, while Dallas goes back to the living room. I have no idea who would actually give me a present and leave it outside. I tear the wrapping paper off to find a box. I open it up and see a note on top, I remove it and see what's inside.

I felt my heart drop and another tear escape my eye. I rip the envelope open to read the note inside.

_Merry Christmas Whore. Next time don't ignore me._

_-Tess_

I rip the paper in half and throw it on the floor. I looked back down at the box. It was a stuffed animal, more specifically a pig. With make-up covering it's face insultingly. And a small Halloween grave stone with R.I.P scratched out, next to it. I grab the box and throw it on the other side of the room.

I'm done. I'm so freaking done. I open my bedroom door and walk out, trying to find Dallas. I spot her and pull her out of the crowded room.

"What's up?" She asks me curiously.

"I need your help on something. And you're the best person to go to."

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_**First cliffhanger for this story, oh my god. I promise I'll try not to make a habit of it like my last story(;**_

_**Leave your inputs below, please(:**_

_**Anyone enjoy the conversations between Alex and Mitchie? **_

_**Spoiler: Alex starts deepening herself into the stage of confusion and with Mitchie coming back, it's just going to get worse(; Skipping ahead to where both girls come back to school. Things from now on, are going to be very interesting. Lol **_

_**Any predictions on what Mitchie needs help on? HM... **_


	13. Un-Victimized & Hidden Feelings

**_A/N: I really hope you guys like this chapter, for some odd reason I found it pretty difficult to write so in advance I'm sorry for whatever errors you encounter, I feel like it was just poorly written .-. _**

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot._**

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**_This chapter goes out to Pretty Little Fiction321 who came up with this awesome idea a while back! (:_**

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_"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself." _

_― Harvey Fierstein_

There's a difference between getting bullied and letting yourself get bullied. The first one displays the bully as an asshole and you the victim. The second one takes the bully out of the equation because instead, you're the wimp who can't stand up for yourself. In my case, I use to be in the second option. Excuse my foul language but I was a pussy. I let everyone else step all over me because I was weak. In this situation, it's not the bully at fault, but it's mine.

But I'm done. I'm done being the victim anymore. I'm tired of giving everyone else a reason to undermine me and having either Dallas or Alex stand up for me. I'm my own person, and I should take control of my own life. That's what Tess made me realize. She's a bully, but I was a coward. It doesn't make me any better. She might have crossed the line, but in a way still helped me overcome my insecurities.

I'm not going to lie, after the incident at the Christmas party, I so wanted to just get her back. Get revenge. I wanted her to feel the pain I always felt. However, how will that in any way help me? It won't. It'll just make me the same person as Tess and Gigi. And I don't ever want to be like them. So I thought of another way of getting revenge. What better way is there than to just shut them up, leave them with their own words to choke on, and prove them wrong. And that my friend, is exactly what I did to Tess and what I'm going to do to Gigi.

At first, Dallas was a little skeptical about my decisions but never the less was really excited to help me out. My parents, well they didn't take it so well, but I could care less. I didn't do it to satisfy other people but did it to help myself. Both physically and mentally. The only thing I'm worried about is how Alex is going to react. There's so many possibilities that can happen, but I have a slight feeling that she won't dislike it too much and will eventually warm up to it. Well at least I hope.

_Are you there yet? _

I texted Alex wanting to know if she already got back to the campus since I was already on my way.

_Alex: Yeah, where are you? _

_Me: I'll be there in a little bit. I'll text you when I arrive. _

_Alex: Ok, hurry up! I'm dying from boredom. _

I laughed at the text but didn't respond. I knew we were only a couple of minutes away from the entrance but I had no intentions in telling Alex when I do arrive. She'll just have to wait until we bump into each other in the hallway or something.

'Ok Mitchie, you can do this.'

_Alex's POV_

Finally winter break finished, which means I get to see Mitchie again, the only thing making my day any better. And also because school doesn't start back until two days so I'm excited. I know there's no point in waiting for Mitchie in the room because knowing her, she won't text me when she arrives, just to surprise me. So I decided to get a coffee with one of my classmate and walk around the campus to pass time.

"Did you finish Mr. Rodriguez's assignment?" She asked me while sipping her coffee.

"Yeah I did it last week but can I borrow your notes for his class? I may have missed some facts" I looked at her and she nodded.

"Yeah sure. It's no problem" She said and we continued walking down the hall.

"So have you seen the new girl?" She continues and I raise an eyebrow.

"We have a new student?" I ask and she nods again.

"Yeah I guess. She's like all over the school, people can't stop talking about her. I don't know why." Harper said nonchalantly while we turned at the corner to find a group of kids surrounded.

"What's going on over there?" I question, gesturing to the crowd of kids who's talking to someone in the middle of the circle.

"Must be the new girl. I feel bad for her, everyone is like suffocating her" She answered and I eyed the crowd suspiciously and just shrugged.

I continued with my coffee still standing at the same spot, curious to see who's the new student. After a couple of minutes I see the crowd splitting in two, obviously with someone trying to get through. A girl comes out from the middle of the crowd and smirks, while walking up to me. Yeah I don't recognize her.

She struts over to me, with everyone facing her while I'm just confused. I lift my eyes to see her, she has these sunglasses on so I can't see her eyes. She has jet black straight hair, while rocking a black leather jacket with skinny jeans and high heels. Holy crap well um this girl is definitely…

"Lex!" The girl screams out to me and my jaw literally drops open. Not being able to say anything back. She gets closer to me and smirks again, grabbing my coffee out of my hand, and holding my chin with her index finger and thumb.

"Close your mouth, flies can get in" She continues while closing my mouth for me and taking a sip of my coffee.

"M-Mitchie?" I stutter and she laughs, taking off her sunglasses.

"Took you long enough" She responds, setting her sunglasses on top of her head. My mouth starts to water up and I was speechless once again. I look at her up and down, my god. I swallow deeply, trying to control my drooling.

"C'mon, let's go to the room" Mitchie whispers to me while looping her arm with mine and dragging me away from all the students.

We arrived inside, while she locked the door behind us. She brought me into a hug and I still couldn't move.

"I've missed you so much!" She tells me and then kisses my cheek, bringing me back to reality.

"Holy fuck Mitchie! What the hell happened?" I let out shocked and she runs her fingers through her new side bangs.

"I decided I wanted a new look, no biggy." She casually said, unpacking her bag. I didn't respond but continued to just admire her body, with her back facing me.

"Like what you see?" She teases and my eyes fly open.

"W-what? No, I mean yes. I-I mean I wasn't looking at you!" I ramble out loud nervously, she laughs and shakes her head. What is wrong with me!

"But anyways what do you honestly think?" She asks me, moving her hands in front of her body. I swallow loudly.

"You look hot." I muttered before even thinking. I slapped my hand over my mouth. Fuck, I did not just say that. Please god, that in any way possible she didn't hear me. She sizes me up and down, smiling, then steps a foot closer.

"Do you still prefer me half naked? Or am I enough like this already?" She whispers seductively in my ear, breathing down my neck. I froze and my face turned red, my heartbeat speeding up. I couldn't respond, I felt my throat close up and my stomach flutter inside. She pulls away and continues to unpack.

Fuck. What kind of sick game is this? Does she just get a high from seeing me embarrassed? You know what, two can play at this game. And I can do it way better.

* * *

It took about an hour for me to get use to her new look. I just couldn't take my eyes off of her, off of her body. I was dying and she knew it. She told me her sister died her hair, took her to a salon, and bought her a completely new wardrobe. I kept wondering why all of the sudden she felt the need to do all of that so I asked her. But she didn't give me a real answer. But simply replied with eight words.

"I didn't want to be the victim anymore."

It confused me but she didn't bother to elaborate anymore so I just shrugged it off. We stopped at a stand to get an ice cream and sat down for a while. Then some boy came up to our table. Mitchie saw him approaching and she sat back, crossing her legs and putting on her sunglasses.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but damn you're sexy." He says to Mitchie, well dang he's straight forward. Mitchie gives him a small smile and brings her sun glasses down to the edge of her nose, looking above the lens to the guy.

"Is that so?" She whispers while holding up her head with her hand that's propped up.

"Hell yeah, how about you come with me and I'll show you a good time" He continues and starts leaning on the table. While witnessing this I started getting angry inside. A random feeling popped in me, I wanted to just punch him in the face and I didn't even have a reason to. She laughs and looks at me and then back to him.

"Nah, I'm not interested. Thanks for the offer though" She replies in a semi bitchy tone which I found unbelievably attractive. She got up and grabbed my hand, walking away from the guy.

"Your loss!" He shouts and Mitchie shakes her head.

"Guys, I swear." She laughs and I nodded, agreeing with her. I started getting even more confused with her. I mean she started dressing hot, but for what? If she's going to just reject the guys what was really the point? Not that I'm complaining or anything… ugh whatever.

We entered Hottopic, one of our favorite stores actually. And with Mitchie changing her style, I can already tell that most of her time will be spent in here. She took out a crop top from the rack and placed it in front of my body, eyeing it and then took out a pair of red skinnies.

"Try this on, I think it'd look amazing on you" She said while handing me two pieces of clothing. I wasn't in the mood to change but then an idea hit me. I nodded with a smile and took off the hangers and gave them to her.

"Call me over when you're done" She tells me and I shake my head.

"Nope, c'mon you're coming in with me" I said trying to hide my smirk, and dragging her into a changing room with me before she had time to say something. She sat down nervously and I internally smiled.

"Here hold this for me" I said while handing her the crop top so I could take off my shirt.

Slowly and teasingly I took off my shirt to reveal a red bra underneath and then took off my pants, in the corner of the mirror I could see her eyes widen and a blush form. I turned to face her and immediately she ducked her head. I took the crop top out of her hands and put it on then proceeded to put on the skinnies.

"So what do you think?" I ask her with a half-smile and she lifts her head to look at me.

"Um it looks nice on you" She said lowly and I shook my head, still not done with getting her back for earlier.

"Eh I don't know. I actually think it'd look better on you" I said while tilting my head and then took off the clothing, leaving me half naked again. I pulled her up and she was about to protest but I grabbed the hem of her shirt, yanking it over her head. While it was halfway off and her face was covered, I found myself staring at her stomach to her chest. Shit I didn't think this through. Fuck.

"Now take off your pants" I demanded and she reluctantly did as I said. Knowing we didn't have the same pants size, I smirked. I went behind her and helped her with putting on the crop top. Accidently my fingers made contact with her hips and I felt her tense up, and an odd desire of placing my hands on her waist entered me but quickly removed that thought out of my head. As much as I enjoy embarrassing her, this plan is starting to back fire on me.

She tried it on and didn't like how it fit her, so immediately took it off and faced me. I couldn't pull away and she kept looking at me. With eyes that were unreadable. I stepped a foot closer to her, not knowing why. She still didn't move but I sensed her nervousness. Every time she was nervous she would bite her bottom lip. I saw her bottom lip in between her teeth and I swallowed, getting yet another odd desire. I saw a strand of hair out of place, and I lifted my hand. Softly and slowly, I moved the strand of hair out of her face but continued to caress her cheek. I felt her breathing getting heavier as did mine, I licked my lips nervously and still didn't detach my eyes from hers.

"You're beautiful." I whispered to her and she blushed. But then right away I jumped back, realizing what just came out of my mouth and that we were both half naked. Holy shit. I clear my throat and look at the ground, grabbing my clothes and changing into them hurriedly. Not looking back up to her, not wanting to see her expression.

"Um I have to go. I'm sorry" I muttered and exited the room, walking out of the store as fast as I could. Most likely leaving her in a stage of being confounded.

I made it outside the mall and sat down on a bench. Holding my head in my hands. Breathing in from my nose and exhaling through my mouth.

"Fuck, this can't be happening...I think I like Mitchie" I muttered to myself, banging my head against my hands.

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_**C'mon Mitchie does not seem like the revenge type(; **__**Anyways FINALLY! Alex uncovered her hidden feelings! **_

_**What did you think of the chapter? Leave your inputs please(:**_

_**So until next time! I know I said I won't be doing cliffhangers, but I don't necessarily view that last line as a cliffhanger but whatever. Lmao**_

_**Spoilers: Eh I don't know if I should reveal anymore information(; you guys might just have to wait and find out. Lmao I'm sorry c(;  
What I can tell you, is that things will not be getting any easier for either character. Well at least for the next couple of chapters. **_


	14. Change & Denial

**_A/N: Longer than usual but hope it makes up for last chapter that both me and some of you guys felt was written fast paced. This one is written much better!(: _**

_**Side Note: What I'm trying to accomplish in Mitchie's sudden change of appearance is that you will also notice, that this new persona, has made her more confident, more ballsy. A whole different attitude. No longer the scared silent coward, and you will witness this new personality more in this chapter. **_

_**Also, the beginning of this chapter (Mitchie's POV) is to clarify what she really thinks is going on. Especially when it comes to the 'game' her and Alex are both playing and her opinion on their friendship. **_

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot._**

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_"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain." _

_― Maya Angelou_

I have come to admire that quote, it is my daily message. It was my reason to change my attitude. To change my outlook in life.

But here's the thing, change can be either for better or for worse. And you will never know what it is until you've encountered it. When it comes to me, I've yet to cease if what I'm currently trying to accomplish is a good or bad thing. I mean so far I believe it's been the change that I've needed, and that from now on, everything should fall into place. However, once again, I could be wrong. The tables could turn around on me, and bring me back to my miserable state of depression I was in after Shane's passing. But that's the point on taking risks right? Having the anxiousness of wanting to know how everything will turn out in the end because you took a chance that may either make you or break you. That's the rush you receive afterwards. That's what I'm craving for.

Speaking of risks, not only did I take a gamble on my different persona, but I took a risk of entering a whole different type of boundary with Alex. You see, there's always that friendship boundary, the best friend boundary, and the comfortable boundary. The friendship one is purely what is considered normal and common. Giving and or receiving small casual compliments, kind gestures, and what not. Although, here's the thing, it's boring. So you can already figure out, that choice was instantly scratched out.

Now here is where things got complicated. I was stuck in between the best friend and the comfortable horizon. One foot in and the other one out. The best friend boundary is when you're semi comfortable with someone. You're allowed to jokingly insult one another because no one will take you seriously. And you do almost everything together, you guys are inseparable. Not too long ago, that's where I labeled Alex and I's companionship. But accidentally both of us crossed that mark and entered the comfortable radius.

The comfortable boundary is usually nicknamed 'The Flirts'. This is where, unknowingly both friends jokingly flirt with each other, because embarrassment is what you strive for. This is the stage where you both are so comfortable with each other, that you're not afraid to say honest personal things and or even change in front of each other, no secrets. Where the compliments towards each other like pretty and cute is changed into hot and sexy. Because you entered that comfortable zone.

Nevertheless, this is where Alex and I made a mistake. We decided to cross a line where we both were not completely ready for. Causing us to be stuck in an indecisive scenery, since we both are not sure which margin we want to classify ourselves. Inducing these situations that if we sensed that we got just a smidge too far, we'd freak out. That is what happened two days ago.

I will take full on responsibility and admit that I am the one at fault. When we reunited, I started the game for the day. The game that we've yet come to a conclusion of what it really is, but either way we do it because we get an odd satisfaction afterwards. Even though I don't understand the purpose of this 'game', we both do enjoy embarrassing each other, which is exactly the goal that we are aiming for.

Anyways back to my point, I used my changed looks as an advantage to start the game. I knew it would be much easier to get a rise out of her that way. At the time, I succeeded and I was ecstatic. However, plans always backfire. She tried to get back at me, and once again I'll admit, that is exactly what she did. I started off with the lead but she ended it with the winning title. Yet, the ending of this daily game was not the one expected.

I can already tell, in her mind, she felt she crossed that line. Then again we were half naked and she just randomly complimented me, for outsiders that would be considered odd and unusual but not to me. On the other hand,_ she _most likely agrees with the outsiders because she ran away. I saw her internally freaking out thinking she somehow ruined our friendship because in her mind she crossed the invisible boundary. She ran out without allowing me to have any inputs on that matter.

I fairly didn't think of it as anything out of the ordinary. I know Alex. We both have complimented each other in peculiar ways before, I didn't see this as anything more or worse like she must have thought. Then again I will never understand Alex Russo, I theorize that if I were able to enter her head, I'd get sucked out of it by some warp hole or a tornado none the less. Thankfully for both of us, after she rudely ditched me and left me alone at the mall, I decided to just follow her back to the room and play it off as a joke. Showing her that I didn't think anything of it and neither should she. At first, she was skeptical, she was kind of acting a little strangely when I was around but finally agreed on just ignoring her slip up and moving forward. Though I still did not become naïve at how closed off Alex has been after that. I guess you can say she's been sort of distant but I'm not thinking too much into it, eventually she'll return back to the tough, teasing, regular character personality that she really is.

Now this leads us to where we are now. The first day of our second semester, returning to school after Christmas Break. Let all hell break loose.

_Alex's POV_

I hug my knees, burying my head into my arms. The small gap only holds limited air, so only a couple of seconds later I lift my head and stare at the ground. I'm sitting behind a bush on the grass, staring at some birds that are eating crumbs off the floor. I reach out and grab a rock that was near, causing the bird to fly away, then out of frustration I throw it across the open field. Hoping I didn't hit anyone with it. I growl at myself covering my face with my hands, just in deep need of crying but the tears won't come out.

Confusion, disappointment, disgust, surrounding my brain. I've never been so mad and sickened at myself like this before. How can I have feelings for Mitchie? I don't understand. I'm not…_ gay. _I don't like girls, yet I somehow come to the conclusion that I am both physically and emotionally attracted to my roommate, my best friend. I mean I've never had a problem with homosexuals like everyone else does, I frankly don't care what they do with their life. They have every right to love who they love. But me, I'm not like that. I can't be like that.

As much as I keep denying my feelings, it just makes sense. The tingly fluttering sensation that goes on in my stomach whenever she physically makes contact with me. The saddening stage I enter whenever we're apart. The yearning inside my body just wanting her to always be near me. The speechless and breathless actions she causes me to have out of nowhere. And lastly, the burning desire I develop of just wanting to feel her lips on mine whenever I'm entranced by her outspoken beauty.

Fuck, this isn't helping my cause. I really do like Mitchie, unbelievably too much.

As much as I've been trying to stay away from Mitchie, it isn't fair. I'm going to be the bigger person and not run away. I'm not going to act on my feelings though but I'm not going to let our friendship get in the way. I know she won't feel the same way, and if in some kind of alternate universe miracle that she does, we both know we can never act on it, so that's out of the question.

I'd prefer being stuck in the friend zone for the rest of our time being, then to keep distancing myself for my selfish needs and jeopardize the bond that took months to construct. I refuse.

Other than that life changing conclusion, I have other things to worry about. I'm so not in the mood to go to school today. I already know everyone is going to barricade Mitchie, which only means more drama.

* * *

"Alex!" I get brought out of my thoughts from the sudden yell.

"Huh, what?" I say dumbfounded and I see Mitchie give me a glare.

"Were you even listening to me?" She says a little annoyed. Normally I'd argue and say that I was but in reality I have no idea what she was just talking about. I was too distracted taking in her appearance for the day. Even though we have to wear uniform for school, she still did her hair, makeup, and anything else she's allowed to do. I still don't understand why she wears the heavy dark makeup because I think she's beautiful without it but none the less, she does look incredibly attractive like that. Ugh snap out of it Alex!

"I'm sorry. I'm just having a hectic day" I respond and one of her eyebrow raises, still looking at me.

"The day barely started. Class still isn't even over until five minutes." She replies and I just shrug, not knowing how to respond.

"Hey, what's going on? What's been going through your mind lately?" She asks now concerned, putting one of her hand on my shoulder. I couldn't come up with a lie, I was so screwed.

"Torres!" We both turn around to see Gigi calling out her name. Even though I seriously dislike her, I've never felt so thankful for her perfect timing. Mitchie rolls her eyes but still turns to face Gigi who's now in front of both of us.

"What?" Mitchie responds clearly irritated.

"Well damn it is true. Look who finally decided to try to fit in." Gigi says while taking in Mitchie's new look.

"Aw what happened? Quiet girl finally got tired of getting picked on so she decides to go all goth and emo? Now this look actually scares me" She continues while gesturing to all the black Mitchie has on. Right there I wanted to just punch her in the face but then I'd get an earful from my roommate so I just have to stand here and see if Mitchie will be able to handle it for herself.

Mitchie stands up from her chair and steps closer to Gigi, letting out a slight laughter of mock and crossing her arms in front of her body.

"Aw, you're mad that someone finally replaced you… Don't be jealous that every guy now wants me. I mean there may be some guys still interested in you, but it must suck because that would mean you'd have to pay them." Mitchie remarks in a bitchy tone while flicking a piece of Gigi's hair out of the way. Everyone surrounded letting out a laugh, including me. Gigi glares at her but still doesn't insult her back. Mitchie scoffs and bumps the brunette's shoulder, shoving her out the way. Calling my name to follow her. I grabbed my stuff and jumped off the seat, ready to walk towards her but then Gigi grabs my arm.

"So I see you're still her bitch. But I'm not sure anymore, seems to me that it's only a matter of time until being the center of attention gets in her head and she ditches you. I mean let's be realistic, why would she want to continue to hang with you when she's now very well known around the school." Gigi says to me with a smirk. With as much self-control I had, I resisted my temptation to fight her and just yanked my arm out of her hold. Walking away. Gigi's word repeating in my mind, Mitchie would never do that to me. Right? Like seriously, she's not that type of person, then again she's not the same person she was before winter break. Ugh c'mon, I just need to have faith in her, that's all.

It was time for lunch and I told Mitchie I'd meet her in the cafeteria since I had to get money out of my locker. It didn't take that long for me to go the hallway and enter the lunchroom. I grabbed my lunch and started heading to our regular table but immediately came to a halt when I saw a whole crowd sitting around Mitchie. Some girls were sitting in front of her while idiotic boys were just drooling over her, leaning next to her. I rolled my eyes at the view and turned around, throwing away my tray and exiting the room. Losing my appetite, as I walk to our dorm room. Maybe I'll just take a nap or try out that reading thing again, ha yeah right, nap time it is.

Jumping onto my bed, face first, I tried to fall asleep but my thoughts kept me awake. And the worst part is that now my thoughts mostly only consists of Mitchie. I rolled over and stared at the white ceiling.

"Why are you doing this to me Mitch." I whisper to myself with my eyes shut.

"I'm sorry, I can only imagine how you're feeling" I hear her voice in my head. Great now I'm even imagining her. I feel my bed shift and a warm hand land on my thigh. My eyes fly open and I immediately sit up, knocking into Mitchie, accidentally head bumping each other. I groan at the pain as she did the same.

"Fuck it, I'm going to start wearing a helmet whenever I'm around you" I mumble, rubbing my forehead, she laughs and apologizes.

"Sorry, I wasn't sure if what you said was while you were awake or dreaming so I wanted to check if your eyes were open" She says and right away I find out that she heard what I said earlier. Nervously I think back to see if I made a slip up, but calmed down once I realized it can be interpreted in different ways and she wasn't freaking out so that's a good sign.

"I didn't hear you enter the room" I simply said and she removed her hand from her forehead.

"I saw you walk out of the cafeteria, so I just followed you back here." She responded and I nodded.

"Yeah, it was getting too crowded in there and I wasn't hungry" I answered and she gave me a sad smile.

"I'm sorry. I know this must be annoying for you, having a crap load of people always around when we hang out."

"Can't blame them, I get it, you're just so irresistible" I teased her and she smiled, blushing. And playfully hits my shoulder.

"I would have never expected all of this to happen. I just thought I would stop getting picked on." She said hopelessly and I nodded.

"Yeah neither did I. You're like a completely changed person" I replied and she rolled her eyes, not taking me seriously.

"I'm serious! I mean look at how you defended yourself from Gigi. I would have never expected that to come out of your mouth" I continued and she got off the bed.

"I guess. But you just don't understand. I should have actually done this a long time ass time ago! I'm not the silent outcast girl you met in the beginning anymore. I feel more alive like this! I have more confidence in myself and that's something I've never felt before in my life. Like you said, now I even have the guts to stand up to people, even if I do come off as a bitch. At least now I won't get messed with any longer." She says while throwing her hands in the air, gesturing to her hair and face. I sigh and just look at her.

"And that's great Mitchie, it really is. But I guess I just miss that other girl. That supposed 'outcast' became my best friend that I have come to adore. I just hope all of this doesn't get into your head in the future." I said honestly, putting air quotes on the word outcast and she gives me a small smile, sitting back down on my bed next to me. Grabbing my hand in hers. Oh crap, here comes the insane nerves in my body.

"She's still here. She'll always be here, especially when I'm with you. And don't worry it won't, I promise… As much as everything changed, it's nice to know I have one good thing that stayed the same." She says with an honest tone, looking at me in the eyes. I tried hiding my blush.

"Yeah? And what's that?"

"You. Our friendship. I would never replace you for anything in the world." She whispers and I stare into her eyes. Seeing nothing but truth. I smiled at her and turned her face slightly, kissing her cheek, still holding onto her hand while my free one pulled her into a hug.

"I love you Lex" Mitchie whispers into my ear and I felt my heart race again. The butterflies in my stomach going wild. But still filled with slight disappointment knowing she only means it as a best friend.

"I love you too Mitch" I whisper semi-sadly back to her and I felt a tear escape from my eye. Trying to figure out if I meant it as only friends or if my feelings have really become deepened.

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_**Hoped you guys like it(: Please review!**_

_**This chapter was much longer than usual, and I'm actually planning on doing the same for the future chapters. I've come to realize that I have much ideas/concepts for this story that I do not want to make this FanFic excessively long. So I will most likely end up doing longer chapters from now on. What do you guys think of that plan? I really need your opinions.**_

_**Spoiler: Not sure if it'll be for the next chapter or the one afterwards but as Mitchie said 'Let All Hell Break Lose'. That will be my clue(; **_

_**Ok, Ok, I'll be nicer, let's just say something will rise to the surface and be discovered. Yes it is between M and A. Any predictions? **_


	15. Secrets Uncovered

**_A/N: As promised, longer chapter. Seems to me not many of you could predict what would occur in this chapter but oh well once you read it, you'll be like 'Ohhh, of course, duh!' Lmao whatever hope you enjoy it(:_**

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot._**

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**_Jswizzle1213 - You're probably right, I would definitely not run away from all that glory Lmao but it's Alex were talking about so you already know how she is c(: And thank you very much(: _**

**_Veehnegreiiro - Thank you so much(:_**

**_Demenaforever13 - Thank you(: _**

**_Suefanficlover - Haha thank you Sue!(: and just be patient(; It'll come very soon! _**

**_LikeAStorm - Thank you! And Haha it's really quite obvious what's going to happen but I enjoy catching you guys off guard so I'll be doing some pretty vague clues from now on, sorry c(:_**

**_Trainwreck2212 - Haha Thanks(: _**

**_Guest (1) - No, we have yet to enter that part of her life yet! So keep that in mind! Surprised you were the only person to point that out c(:_**

**_Not-Gonna-Happen-Du ude - Aw thank you!(:_**

**_Pretty little fiction321 - Haha thank you(; I'm glad(:_**

**_LovezObsessed - Thank you and hmm, soon! Veryy soon, that'll be happening, shh(;_**

**_Nightingale11 - Lmao yes she did and yes she is xD_**

**_Guest (2) - Thank you!(:_**

**_Guest (3) - Well here you go(;_**

**_Me - That is a very good question my friend, you're the only one to point that out(;_**

**_Guest (4) - Mhm /: _**

**_thatwizardatCR - We'll see(;_**

**_Tomatoes - Well now I'm just giving vague clues to everyone, so that should be good. And yes I agree, I have and will be doing that for a couple of chapters when it's really necessary. So either for chapter 16 or 17, that will be occurring(: And thank you for the inputs!(: _**

**_Raven - Here you go(;_**

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_"There is, in every event, whether lived or told, always a hole or a gap, often more than one. If we allow ourselves to get caught in it, we find it opening onto a void that, once we have slipped into it, we can never escape." _

_― Brian Evenson_

Have you ever had everything you wanted in life yet you were still unhappy? Like materialistic items do not fill the void inside your heart.

I've come to accept the fact that I'm living a lie. At first, I thought me putting on an act will make me feel better, I was yet again wrong. In the beginning I was satisfied with the events, with my decision. I got what I wanted, which was to get the bullies off my back. Unknowingly, I also gained the attention of many classmates. Whether it was friendly attention from the girls or sexual attention from the guys, it was still attention.

I always thought that's what I wanted in life, to not be the freak anymore. To be the girl everyone wants to be friends with and guys want to date. I was wrong. As much as I keep pretending I'm all ok in the outside, it doesn't cover up my inner demons. My little charade will one day come to an end, then what will I do? My personal issues will come out and I will end up back in the same position I was in in the beginning. Hiding in the corner burying myself in my books, afraid of the outside world.

I'm lonely. I may have guys crawling on their knees to get with me now but they're not what I want. To them, I can see it in their eyes that I'm only a booty call. Why must it be so hard to find someone I can be with? Someone who will love me for who I really am, who knows the real me. Not the person I'm pretending to be. Someone I can fall head over heels for, and not be afraid to descend because I know they'll catch me.

What am I saying? That's only fairy tale shit. Typical peasant girl ending up with the prince because she turned out to be the most beautiful girl in the kingdom. Stuff like that doesn't happen in real life. Society today only promotes false love. Parents teaching children to not be stupid and marry a rich guy. Or a guy lying to a girl saying he loves her but in reality only wants to get in her pants.

What happened to the old fashion real love? Where two people bump into each other in the streets, from different social classes but still disobey their families because in their eyes they believe love conquers all. I want that. I want to finally meet my forever after. No matter what the consequences may be. I have strong beliefs on love itself. If you deeply care for someone, you'd do anything for them, no matter what. Even if everyone around you is trying to tell you, that person is just wrong for you, it wouldn't matter. If I love them, I'll ignore my surroundings. Because love_ does _conquer all, well at least that's my opinion.

Most likely, everyone else will disagree with me. Girls nowadays only care about designer wears and whoever can give them that. They'll date anyone who will please their needs, who will keep them happy. Their love is bought. On the other hand, guys care about one thing, and one thing only. Sex. All they want is a hot piece of ass. Am I being stereotypical? Maybe. But I'm just stating the truth. This is why it's so hard to find a genuine person who you can give your all to. In reality, that's all I want. I want to be someone's happiness and vice versa. Question is, will I ever find that?

"So I was thinking, how about me and you go catch a movie or something…" Shit, he was still talking? Ugh this is starting to get really annoying. I'd never thought I'd get tired of guys asking me out, but it's mostly this one. He's trying to act all smooth and flirty when in reality he's failing. Ok, now how do I turn him down nicely? Crap.

"Move!" Alex pops out of nowhere, looking at the guy who was in her seat. Mental note; Thank Alexs for her perfect timing.

"Excuse me?" He responds while turning to face Alex.

"My seat, get out. Do I need to speak any slower for you?" She continues obviously annoyed by the guy in front of her. I hold in my laugh as he rolls his eyes and faces me again. Great.

"So how 'bout it?" He asks with a smile he probably thinks is killer. I open my mouth to respond but Alex beats me to it.

"Her answer is no. She's busy with someone who's actually worth her time. So how about you move your ass out of my seat and go hit on someone you may actually have a chance with?" She says sternly to him and he glares at her but none the less finally walks away. Thank god.

"Thank you for your unexplainable perfect timing" I told her as she sat down next to me laughing.

"Yeah no problem, from the other side of the room I could tell you weren't interested." She replied and I laughed but then thought back at what she said.

"Wait, who am I busy with this weekend?"

"Me! Duh." She says in an obvious tone and I roll my eyes.

"What, now you're too cool to hang out with me this weekend?" She teases and I hit her shoulder.

"Alex, I hang out with you every day." I told her and she fakes being offended.

"Are you trying to say, that you're getting tired of me? Fine Mitch be that way, I got you" She says while crossing her arms and I just bring her into a hug.

"I'll never understand you Torres, first you're telling me you don't want to hang out with me, and now you're just bringing me into a hug. Mixed signals I swear" She jokes and I once again hit her shoulder.

"Ok, gosh leave my arm alone. Don't make me report you for domestic violence" She continues and I roll my eyes.

"Ok first, I never said I'm tired of you, I'll never be tired of you, trust me. Second, I just felt like hugging you, is that a crime? And lastly, it's abuse. Unless we're secretly going out and I had no knowledge of this." I told her and her eyes widened.

"Oops, um sorry, I-I meant abuse." She said in an odd tone and I laughed at her weirdness but faked a gasp.

"Alex Russo! How dare you not inform me of such relationship. Now that's just rude. I mean I feel like I have the right to know who I'm dating, yet you're here hiding the truth." I joked with her and I saw her blush.

"Haha very funny. If we were in a relationship, this abuse would need to be dialed down. I call for a break up" She told me and my mouth fell open.

"I'm offended. You know what, fine. I'll just find someone who'd actually tell me that we're going out!" I replied, looking away from her and she laughed shaking her head.

"Anyways, what will we be doing this upcoming weekend?" I asked her and she plastered her thinking face on.

"I don't know really. Anything you want I guess." She told me and I tried to come up with some ideas.

"Eh, we'll figure it out tomorrow." I replied and she nodded, looking back down at her notebook.

* * *

I'm lying in my bed thinking about life itself. While Alex is out doing who knows what. I start getting these thoughts in my head. These memories.

My insecurities began to enter my mind once again. And an ugly habit is teasing me inside, begging to come out. I'm in a random depression mood but this time I can't get out of it. Normally these awful feelings would only last for about ten minutes but not this one. This one is more painful, more forceful. I can't find the will to escape my mind, or any distraction at this point. I feel like a drug addict in the middle of cold turkey. The moment where you're shaking, losing your mind, crying, pulling your hair out because you're addicted to something harmful. Even if you've been somewhat sober for a while now, you can never fully recover. Because eventually, these moments will come to haunt you and you'll start to feel disgusted with yourself. Ashamed mostly.

There comes a time, where you just can't handle it anymore. And I feel as if, that's happening to me right now.

_Alex's POV_

That spot behind the bush has started to become my peaceful hiding area. Whenever I feel the need to think or calm myself down from all that is surrounded, I go back there and just sit. I don't get any interruptions which is my number one benefit.

I'm starting to worry about my situation. I've noticed my jealousy rising and I'm afraid it's going to start showing, especially in front of Mitchie. Seeing that guy flirting with Mitchie made me furious. I should be used to it but it still doesn't stop me from being jealous. And what made it worse was my slip up on domestic violence. I was happy she played it off as a joke but it still kind of made me sad knowing she was only playing around with the relationship comment. She'll never know how much I want that comment to be true. The comment of being in a relationship.

I need to stop being all depressed, it's not helping anyone. I've been here for way longer than I should have been.

I get up and start walking back to my dorm, just wanting to knock out and silence my thoughts. I enter the room and notice Mitchie wasn't in here. I was already confused, trying to figure out where she'd go right now. But those worries exited my mind as I started to get the urge to pee. I have an extremely small bladder, so I knew it was only a matter of time before I explode. I walk up to the bathroom door and turn the knob to enter.

"Alex!" I hear Mitchie scream out and I stay frozen in place. I felt my insides die a little and the need to pee quickly left. I see her grab a mini towel to cover her wrist. She hisses in pain and I get brought back to reality. I was still speechless at the scene I just encountered. I see blood, all over her arm. Coming from her wrist and what's worse was seeing a razor on her right hand. I run to the sink, soaking the other mini towel and knee down beside her. I see her in tears and I try to hold mine in but I doubt it was successful.

I grab her wrist out of her hold and my eyes began to water up as I took notice off all the scars and cuts she has all around. As best as I could, I start wiping the blood away, then I press pressure onto the open cut, hearing her let out a small cry. I could sense her pain but I knew it was the only way she'd heal.

"You weren't supposed to see this." She whispers to me in between sobs and I felt my tears rush down my face. I stay quiet and continue to clean her up. I felt my heart beat go agonizingly fast and slow at the same time. I felt myself shake when I tried to bandage her up. I could tell she noticed once she spoke up.

"Alex… Please stop crying." She whispered to me, and tilted my head up wiping away the fallen tears. I duck my head, not able to make eye contact. I swallow and finally opened my mouth.

"Why. Mitchie why would you do this!" I started off whispering but ended with a yell I couldn't control. I felt her jump a little at my tone of voice. I was angry, but mostly sad and upset. This was the reason she always hid her wrists with bracelets. How long has this been going on? How come I never noticed it!

"You w-wouldn't understand. I-I'm sorry." She whispered looking down. I knew I couldn't be mad at her, I was more mad at myself for never knowing. My tears continued to fall and I brought her into a hug.

"Mitch, p-please. I can't lose you. P-please just stop. Don't do it again." I told her in between breaths. I was afraid of losing her. I never knew this was going on. Who's to say, I could have walked in on her… dead. That's what frightened me the most. I felt her cry even harder into my shoulder, and I started rubbing her back.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." The irony of her apologizing to me when she's the one in pain. I couldn't respond but instead kept trying to sooth her and tried to calm myself down. It felt like déjà vu, the accident of her punching the mirror was almost repeating itself. She finally calmed down and so did I. I had so many questions to ask her but I knew it wasn't the right time. I could predict that her weight wouldn't hold me back from what I was going to do. I slid both of my hands underneath her body and pick her up. To my surprise, she didn't feel so heavy and I was able to carry her body to her bed. This reminded me of how she did the same with me, now I'm just returning the favor. She didn't say anything as I laid her down and covered her body.

"Just go to sleep Mitch." I whisper to her and kiss her forehead. I pull away and start walking to my bed until her voice stopped me.

"A-Alex?" She muttered and I turned around.

"Yeah Mitch?"

"Um can you sleep with me t-tonight?" She said lowly in a nervous tone. I knew I couldn't refuse, especially in the state she is. I felt my heart race and my palms starting to get sweaty.

"You don't have to, if you don't want –" She whispered and I shook my head and stopped her.

"No, it's ok. Um yeah sure." I said lowly, trying to hide my nervousness. She transitions her body closer to the wall and I slide in next to her, underneath the covers. Once I was somewhat situated, I felt her body scoot closer to mine. As flustered as I was, my own desire started to grow and the little confidence I had at the moment began to overrule my shyness. I turn my body to face her, leaving us both laying on our sides, staring at the wall. I bring my right arm over her body and start to hold her tight. For a millisecond I felt her tense up but immediately she warmed up to my touch and cuddled into my embrace. I took it as a good sign and finally was able to shut my eyes.

"Goodnight Alex." She whispered, while grabbing my hand and intertwining our fingers. Not bothered by the fact that I was spooning her from behind.

"Goodnight Mitch." I whispered back calmly to her and my nerves started to dial down, bringing me into a comfortable sleep.

* * *

I feel a weight shift softly next to me, movement slowly increasing by each second. I rub my eyes and open them, letting out a small yawn. Only a couple seconds later I feel a body begin to stir as they also let out a small yawn. I regain consciousness and turn my head to face Mitchie. She was barely starting to wake up but finally looked up at me.

"Good morning" She said hoarsely and I returned the greeting. We were shutting our eyes again but I felt mine fling open as I notice our position. Half her body was on top of mine, with her left leg draped over my thighs and her head laid on my chest as my arm was around her. She seemed as if she finally observed how we were laying because she jumped up suddenly.

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry Alex! I was totally invading your personal space." She started freaking out and I couldn't help but let out a laugh.

"Why are you laughing?! I practically just molested you!" She semi yelled and I continued to laugh. Technically I should be the one freaking out because I slept next to my crush, who just happened to wake up on top of me.

"Chill! It's ok, really." I reassured her and she let out a breath of relief, now letting out a small chuckle.

"So did you sleep well?" I wiggled my eyebrows and she laughed.

"Definitely, I mean I did have a comfy pillow" She winked at me causing me to blush while I jokingly covered my chest with my hands in embarrassment making her let out a laugh. The room eventually went into an awkward silence, and I remembered back to last night.

"How's your wrist?" I ask lowly and she looks down, ashamed.

"It's fine." She bluntly stated obviously not wanting to enter this conversation.

"Mitch, will you please talk to me about this" I begged and she rolled her eyes.

"What do you want me to say Alex? Yes I've done this before. Yes I've tried hiding it. No I wasn't planning to tell you." She says coldly shaking her head.

"That's so dangerous Mitchie." I whisper sadly to her and she shrugs, still looking away.

"Yeah, well, whatever."

"Is this why you came here?" I asked curiously, realizing she never told me why she randomly decided to come to this school. She sighs and stays quiet.

"Just tell me the truth. You of all people know I will never judge you, I want to help. I want to be there for you but I can't if I only know half of you. I thought you trusted me…" I told her, grabbing her hand. She finally looked up and I saw tears in her eyes. She nodded and opened her mouth.

"I wasn't always like this. I first cut myself after Shane's funeral. Ever since I experienced that release, I continued to do it, almost every day. It was my way to take out my personal shame on myself. It became an ugly habit and one day I reached what I thought was my final breaking point. The bullying and teasing reached its highest peak and I started feeling worthless, unappreciated. That day I went into the kitchen and grabbed a knife… I just wanted to die. I couldn't take it anymore so I went deeper than usual. I felt the blood come out excessively and I started losing conscious. I was brought back when I heard my sister screaming my name and shaking me. She was yelling at my mom to call an ambulance. I was going in and out of reality and next thing I know I blackout and wake up in a hospital. After that whole mess, my mom didn't know what to do with me so she shipped me off here…" She finished with both of us in tears.

She removed her hand out of my hold and showed me her wrist, she pointed out the thickest scar that ran diagonally across her skin. I felt my heart shatter at what I was listening and witnessing. How she could feel so degraded broke me. If only I could admit what she really means to me. I grab her hand and kiss her wrist, watching one of my own tears fall onto her forearm.

"You should never feel that way Mitch. You are none of those things. I care about you, Dallas does too. You're not worthless. I don't know what I would do if I were to lose you. You mean so much more to me than you probably think." I said sadly and she tilted my face up to look at her.

"I know you do, and that's why I love you. Meeting you has really changed my life for the better. When we became friends, I lost my reason to continue to harm myself. The number of times I cut myself gradually decreased as I continued growing closer to you. I promise you, you won't lose me. I'm going to try my best to stop." She said honestly and I gave her a small smile of hope.

"I love you too. And I'll try my all to help you succeed in that. I'm not leaving your side, I'll be right next to you with every step you take, if you let me." I responded and she smiled nodding her head, bringing me into a hug.

At that moment I started thinking back to last night when I slept next to her. I felt more relaxed holding her, being so close to her. Right then and there, she was the only thing that mattered to me. By all means I wanted to protect her from ever getting hurt again. I couldn't stand seeing her in pain, as her happiness caused my happiness. A warm sensation entering me. I've wanted to be like this with her for a long time. And now after experiencing it, it made me realize the truth behind my endless confusions. I love Mitchie, as more than a companion. I've fallen _hard_ for my best friend.

* * *

_**This was more of a filler but still important, especially Mitchie's thoughts in the beginning. Keep that in mind.**_

_**Hoped you liked it, Please Review!(: **_

_**Ok, well so far Alex has finally come to the conclusion that she's in love with Mitchie, she also found out Mitche's dirty little secret. While Mitchie is still looking for her 'Prince Charming' now what will be happening next(;**_

_**Clue: This isn't much but it's to keep you anxious; you guys will probably feel bittersweet after reading the next chapter. But most likely you guys will probably hate me Lmao**_

_**Are you confused yet? (; Haha sorry, just bare with me guys. **_


	16. Neglect & Regrets

**_A/N: Sorry it took a while to post this. I was really struggling with this chapter and I'm still not even slightly proud of it. A lot of you guys would probably agree once you read it so I'm sorry. _**

**_I've finally started off the school year, and I'm taking AP Classes, so I'll most likely not be able to post as frequently as I use to. /: But I promise I will not take no longer than a week to post a chapter. I have to get into my regular routine for school and then see how much time I have left in my hands to continue to post faster. So please bare with me guys. _**

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. _**

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_Alex's POV _

I want to move out of my room.

I want to sleep here, at my blissful getaway behind a bush. But I don't want to seem like a hobo nor lessen the time that I get to spend with Mitchie. However, I've come to love this little space. Being out in the open and no one bothering you, one of the most peaceful things you can wish for. Really. Many older people strive for quiet time and peace, because their surroundings are filled with yelling, stress, and headaches. So I'm pretty lucky.

I've realized, most of my day is spent here, Mitchie has probably already gotten use to my random disappearances throughout the night. Almost every day, right before school starts, I wake up early to just sit here and watch the sunrise, and clear my head for what may be coming. But right now, I just enjoy closing my eyes, hugging my knees and taking in the fresh air encircled. I don't think anyone knows about this place, and I hope no one else finds out. This is the only spot I get to have my alone time, even if it's only for a couple of minutes, it's part of my regular routine. My phone vibrating causes me to come back to this dreadful reality.

_Hey where'd you go? Do you want to grab lunch? _

Reading the text from Mitchie caused me to have mix feelings. I want to continue to spend time with her but every time I do, I act dumbfounded and flustered all the time. It's only a matter of time until she calls me out on my strange act. I don't even know why I'm debating with myself, because everyone knows I can never deny her. I sigh and text her back.

_Yeah sure, I'll be there in a couple of minutes. _

I replied, not answering her first question. I get up from the ground, dusting myself off, making sure I don't have grass or dirt stuck on me and start walking back to my room. It was about a five minute walk until I made it inside.

"Hey, so where do you want to go?" She asks me when she noticed me entering. I shrug and sat down at the corner desk, turning to face her.

"It doesn't matter. As long as it's off campus" I told her and she nodded, grabbing her purse and getting off the bed. I did the same, knowing I wasn't going to let her pay. She rolled her eyes when she saw me grab my purse and I laughed shaking my head. We walked out the room, with our arms looped together. By now I should get use to our affectionate friendship, but it still doesn't stop me from acting all nervous and what not.

We arrived at Applebee's and sat down in a booth, close to the bar. We ordered our food and drinks and I saw Mitchie on her phone. I started looking at her with a raised eyebrow, she noticed and gave me a strange look.

"What?" She asks me, setting down her phone.

"I don't know how you do it." I tell her and she seemed even more confused.

"Do what?" She continues and I look underneath the table and back up.

"How you can wear high heels every single day" I told her and she laughed rolling her eyes.

"You get use to them." She simply said after shrugging, taking a sip of her drink. It was only over a month ago that she use to wear vans and converses every day and now she's use to wearing high heeled boots all the time. And to still walk in them like she's been doing it for years, surprises me. I mean most of the time, I do only wear sneakers, but once in a while, I'll wear high heels for a special occasion or something.

Our food finally came out and we started eating silently. I noticed these two guys sitting near the bar, talking and glancing over at us occasionally. Most likely at Mitchie. I just ignored it and continued eating until I see them get up and start walking to our table. Great.

"Hello Ladies" One of the guys said, making Mitch look up with a small smile.

"Hi" She said, not knowing what they wanted. I stayed quiet and just gave them a small wave.

"Well me and my friend couldn't keep our eyes off of you girls, may I say you both are sure beauties." The other guy spoke up, grabbing my hand and kissing it. Ok dude back off. They were cute, I'll give them that, and they did seem like sweethearts, but I wasn't interested.

"We were wondering, if you weren't busy today, that you'd like to hang out with us" The guy who spoke up first, said, mostly directed towards Mitchie, who was now blushing. She was about to say something but I interrupted her.

"I'm sorry, we actually already have plans together for today." I said as nicely as I could and Mitchie looked at me confused but I ignored her. She agreed with me almost unbelievably and the guys nodded understandingly.

"Oh we're so sorry, we didn't know you two were together" The guy who kissed my hand said apologetically and I started chocking on my food.

"Alex!" Mitchie screamed out worriedly, and I continued chocking, trying to clear out my throat as I started drinking my water. She came over to me and started patting my back and I finally was able to regain my breathing. But my face was still red in embarrassment. The guys with wide eyes looking at me and I shake my head.

"We're not u-um—" I started off clearing my throat but Mitchie's hand landed on my thigh.

"It's totally understandable. Really. Thanks for the offer though" She interrupted me, telling the guys who just nodded and waved goodbye, walking away. I give her a surprised look as she went back to her seat.

"It looked like you wouldn't have wanted to go with them and I wanted to let them down easily" She answered my unspoken question.

"By um telling them we're t-together?" I said nervously and she laughed shrugging and continued eating her food.

"I don't get it though, they were so hot" She continued, smirking and I rolled my eyes.

"I'm just um still recovering from the whole Mason thing" I lied and she gave me a sad smile, letting the conversation go. Ugh if only she knew.

We walked back to the campus and continued to stroll around, just talking about random stuff. We sat down at a bench but almost right away I got up and left her, telling her I was going to get something out of my room real quick. She nodded so I ran to my room and grabbed my phone that I left charging, making sure I didn't miss any calls from my parents before they start freaking out.

I let out a breath of relief and started going back to where Mitchie was. As I made contact with the bench she was on, I noticed James was sitting next to her. One of the so called popular jocks in this school. I witnessed Mitchie laughing and him smiling as his eyes landed on her body. I rolled my eyes and paced faster towards them. He turned his head and saw me, obviously annoyed at my presence.

"Well, you have my number so text me" He said to Mitchie and she nodded still smiling. He got up from my spot and walked away, not saying a word to me.

"What was that all about?" I asked her, trying to hide my jealousy. She shook her head and ran her fingers through her head.

"Nothing. C'mon let's go get some ice cream or something" She said while grabbing my hand and pulling me with her, completely avoiding my question.

* * *

Most of yesterday, Mitchie was spent on her phone, texting who knows who, completely ignoring me. I'll admit I was upset, mostly because I'm so use to her paying all of her attention towards me and not to her phone or someone else, especially if it's the weekend.

I continue to stare at the ceiling, laying in my bed, until the door opening, made me sit up.

"Hey you" Mitchie greets me while jumping onto her bed. Laying on her back as she pulls out her phone once again. I sigh and stand up, sitting on her bed instead. She still didn't look up, so I grabbed her phone out of her hand.

"Ay!" She let out with her hands opened. I didn't even bother to look at her phone, so I turned it off and placed it behind me.

"You want to go to the movies today?" I ask her with slight hope and she sighs, biting the inside of her cheek.

"I can't, I already have plans. I'm sorry." She said with a slanted smile, reaching for her phone. I tried to repress the rolling of my eyes, as I sighed and got up, grabbing my phone.

"Ok. Whatever. I'm gonna hang out with Harper today." I simply said, walking out the room. I don't understand why she's being so distant and so attached to her phone. I'm starting to feel neglected and it's killing me. But you know what, I'm not letting this ruin my day.

I text Harper, asking her if she's free. She gladly responded and agreed with my offer to go to the movies. We decided to watch some a comedy movie. I actually had a pretty fun time with her but I was still somewhat thinking about Mitchie. I said goodbye to Harper and headed back to my room.

I walk in and see some clothes laid out on Mitchie's bed while she's in front of the bathroom mirror, putting on her makeup. She was in a tank top and some shorts. Obviously still not dressed for whatever she's getting ready for. She walked out of the open bathroom and noticed me. She didn't say anything but continued to choose an outfit. She picked out these two shirts and held them up to me. Silently asking me which one she should wear. I chose the one that showed less skin. Not really wanting anyone else to see that much of her.

She took off her shorts and began to pull up her skinny jeans. At this point, not even caring that I was in the room. Her back was faced to me as she started jumping up and down, to pull up the jeans over her butt. I couldn't remove my eyes at her butt, I'll admit that's one of her best assets. She finally got the jeans on pulling me out of my thoughts. Then proceeded to take off her tank top and put on her shirt. I swallowed deeply when I noticed she was slightly pulling her bra up when she tried to take off her tank top. As much strength that I had, I looked away and sat down on my bed, waiting for her to finish up.

"So where are you going tonight?" I asked once she finally got ready.

"Um I actually have a date tonight." She simply said and I felt my stomach drop. I bit my tongue, not wanting to show her my real feelings.

"Oh, with who?" I continue and she looks away from me, not wanting to see eye to eye. Then it hit me.

"James?!" I ask louder than usual. She continued to look away as she started sliding in her high heels. Not answering me.

"Are you serious Mitch? Really, of all people, you choose to go out with James?!" I tell her annoyed and she rolls her eyes.

"He asked me out yesterday and I decided I wanted to try it out. What's the big deal?"

"He's a player! He's the biggest player at this school, the biggest asshole you can ever date!" I semi yell to her, completely pissed.

"I thought you'd be happy for me! That I finally found a guy who I can actually date!" She yells to me and I shake my head.

"I'd be happy for you if you found someone who will actually love you and not try to hit it and quit it!" Like me.

"Why can't you just understand that I'm not going to find that! Who's actually going to want to be with me for the real me? No one! So stop trying to make me feel better, maybe I'm only going out with him cause I want the same thing he wants, ever thought of that?" She blurts out like a ticking time bomb, ready to explode. I sigh and lower my voice.

"I know you don't really want that Mitch. I get it, you feel lonely so you're seeking attention from anyone who will give it to you, no matter what the consequence may be. But c'mon, you honestly don't think there's someone out there who's capable of loving you the right way?" Open your eyes! I fucking love you. Can you not see that?!

"Just face it, no one around actually has genuine feelings for me. Let it go Alex" She says lowly, looking at the ground.

"I do." I whisper extremely lowly, oh shit, please dear god she didn't hear me.

"What?" She says annoyed and internally I let out a breath of relief.

"I know someone who really cares about you Mitch. Just please don't go out with him." I start to beg and she lets out a small sarcastic laugh, crossing her arms.

"Yeah right, who?" She asks not believing me. I shake my head.

"They don't want you to know yet, just don't go tonight!" I semi yell and she rolls her eyes, turning around, facing away from me.

"Alex you don't control my life, I'll do what I want" She said coldly and I started getting angry.

"Fuck it, fine! I could care less anymore, do what you feel like doing. Go fuck a random guy, just don't come crying to me when he ends up fucking you over!" I yell out, walking out of the room, slamming the door behind me. I was beyond furious. She's acting so stupid!

I make it towards the entrance of the building, to come face to face with James. I take a deep breath and step closer to him.

"I swear, if you do anything to hurt her, you're going to fucking regret it!" I yell out to him who has a smirk on his face, not taking me seriously.

"Don't worry princess, when I'm done with her, you can come over afterwards" He says while looking at me up and down. Actually thinking I was any bit attracted to him. As angry as I was, I slapped him as hard as I could and walked away.

"Fucking bitch!" He yelled out to me and I flipped him off, continuing to walk to my spot outside. Ugh why can't she realize how much a fucking dick he is! She deserves way better. I wish she would just open up her eyes.

I continued to lay my head on my knees, looking at the sky and the field in front of me. Trying to calm myself down. Not wanting to imagine how Mitchie's and James' date is going. I saw a small stick on the ground and grabbed it. I saw a small pile of dirt near me and began drawing on the dirt. Instinctively I began drawing a small heart with the letter M inside. I started laughing at myself. I use to do that type of stuff in elementary when I had a crush and now I'm still doing it. Pathetic. I moved the stick against the dirt, erasing the image that was there before. Not wanting to see it anymore.

About ten more minutes passed, and I had my eyes closed. Before I could drift off in my thought again, a laughter ceased me. It wasn't just an ordinary laugh, but Mitchie's. The one I could recognize from a whole crowd of people. I look up and see Mitchie and James holding hands. Walking on the other side of the field. I started getting angry again, and I tried to look away but I couldn't.

I saw James stop midway and pull Mitchie into her. I felt my heart break as I watched them making out. The scene began to blur up, as the tears started building up. I felt my insides crack and the tears falling out of my eye. They finally pulled away and continued to walk back into where I'm assuming is our dorm. I noticed his hand was moved to her lower back, slowly reaching her butt. I felt disgusted at the sight and got up, walking the opposite direction. Roughly wiping off my tears and heading god knows where...

* * *

Reluctantly, I walked into Bible Study class, not really wanting to see Mitchie. It's been about two days since our argument and I haven't said a word to her. She'll try to talk to me but I still ignore her. The only reason she's not thinking much of it is because now she's spending most of her time with James. I'm still beyond furious with her, and I'm not giving in any time soon. She doesn't get to make me feel all heart broken and still be able to make out with her boyfriend.

I sit down at a different seat, far away from Mitchie. She notices and walks up to me.

"Why are you sitting here?" She asks me and I take out my books from my book bag, setting it on the desk, not saying a word.

"Seriously Alex, you're still mad at me? I said I was sorry!" She tells me and I roll my eyes. If she was so sorry she'd listen to me and break up with James. But noo, she doesn't want to. Whatever.

"C'mon. Let's go do something together after school" She pleads and I shake my head. I bet James' busy so she resorts to her second option. She stands shaking my shoulder, still begging.

"I can't. I'm busy!" I finally let out irritatingly, lying.

"Doing what?" She asks me and I slam my hands with my forehead. Can she just go away!

"I already have plans with Harper dammit!" I semi yell, catching her off guard. She gave me a sad look but finally nodded, and walked away. I shouldn't have yelled but I'm not apologizing. She'll get over it.

The day progresses and I notice Mitch in a different mood. I couldn't quite figure out if she's mad, sad, or whatever. Normally I'd go up to her and ask her what's wrong but I'm not giving in. The bell signaling school is over, finally rings. Mitchie is the first one to run out of the classroom. I stayed back for a while, talking to Harper and walking around the campus. Trying my best to distant myself from Mitchie, knowing if I spent more time with her, I'll give in to her pouting.

About an hour later, Harper and I parted ways. Slowly and dreadfully I walk to my room. I enter the dorm and notice she's not laying down, she's probably in the bathroom. I lay face down on my bed but turned around as I hear the bathroom door slam open. I saw Mitchie in tears with her eyebrows furrowed in. She glances at me and looks away, wiping away her tears and laying on her bed, facing away from me, Oh no, she's not getting out of this so easily. I can't, and I won't give in right now. I don't care if she's crying. I hear her sobs grow louder and my resistance begins to degrade. C'mon Alex you can do this. Don't get up. Ugh who am I kidding, it breaks me to see her cry. Fuck it.

I get up and situate myself on the edge of her bed.

"Mitch… what's wrong?" I start to rub her back. She doesn't reply but I hear her sobs getting lower, meaning she was calming down a bit.

"C'mon, tell me what happened. What's wrong?" I ask her again and she finally sits up, hugging her knees with an angry expression.

"Why is it such a big deal that I'm dating James, that now you're completely avoiding me?!" She semi yells and I shake my head.

"He's not good enough to be with you! And I wasn't completely avoiding you.." I reply and she gives me an 'are you serious?' look. But immediately went back to her quiet sobbing. I tilted her face towards me and wiped her tears.

"Please stop crying." I pleaded and she looked down at her knees.

"You promised me you wouldn't leave me!" She yelled out to me, in a broken sad tone. I sigh and continue to wipe off her tears.

"Oh Mitch, I could never leave you. I know I've been an asshole lately, I'm sorry. But don't you ever think that I'll leave you. I love you." I never thought me ignoring her for a couple of days would really break her. I didn't even care to think back to what happened with Shane, that's why she's acting like this. Ugh I'm such an ass.

She finally looks back up to me with a hopeful smile.

"Really?" She asks lowly and I couldn't help but let out a small laugh under my breath. I nodded with a smile and continued to caress her cheek. She smiled back at me as her hand landed on top of mine. Softly tracing patterns with her thumb behind the hand that was on her cheek.

I wasn't in my right mind. Seeing her in a vulnerable state like this caused me to act differently. I stared down at her lips and unconsciously licked mine. My breathing started speeding up as we made eye contact. I don't know why, I wasn't even thinking, but I found myself leaning into her. I couldn't read her face expression and I couldn't stop myself from what my heart kept desiring.

My lips landed on hers and my eyes immediately closed at the sensation. Her lips were breathtakingly soft, better than I've ever imagined. I felt her other hand caress my cheek, almost pulling me in closer.

I tried savoring each second, each feeling, not wanting it to end. But before it could have gone any further, her hands landed on my shoulders, pushing me off.

"What the hell Alex!" She yelled out shocked at me. I swallowed and looked down, closing my eyes shut. I didn't have time to respond as she jumped off her bed and ran out of the room. My heart beat began speeding up, and I stood up.

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" I yelled at myself, throwing my book at the wall, falling to the ground in tears. Shit, I just fucking ruined everything!

* * *

_**... No comment. Lmao ugh poor Alex /: **_

_**Leave your reviews please! I know a lot of you guys have something to say about this chapter c(:**_

_**For the next chapter, it will most likely be in Alex's POV throughout once again. **_

_**How do you guys think their friendship is going to change? What do you think of Mitchie's reaction? Hmm... **_


	17. Consequences of Risks

**_A/N: I'm so sorry for the wait. It's only the second week of school and I'm already stressed out, smh. I'm still trying to work with my schedule but I'm going to try to write more than one chapter during the weekend so I can post them throughout the weekdays. Anyways, hope you like this(: _**

**_If anyone was wondering, I started almost every chapter with quotes, and Mitchie discussing them afterwards. I'm only doing that when it's in Mitchie's POV. So there will be no quotes displayed when the chapter starts off in Alex's POV, or in a flashback/dream. _**

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. _**

* * *

**_Veehnegreiiro - Haha most likely(; I think kissing anyone would be better than kissing James. But thank you for the input(:_**

**_Suefanficlover - Thank you so much(: And agreed! Especially with the Mitchie thing. _**

**_LovezObsessed - Yes, Alex and Mitchie are perfect together, let's just hope Mitchie handles the situation somewhat well.. c(:_**

**_Pretty Little Fiction321 - xD haha and thank you! Also, I just love all your ideas, really. But since I already have everything planned out for this entire story, adding your idea will just make it way longer than how it should be, you know? But seriously I might just ask for your help in writing a whole different story because you have many amazing ideas c(:_**

**_LikeAStorm - Thank you for your honest reviews, I really do appreciate them(: And Lmao I'm sorry, here you go c(:_**

**_blushyskittle3321 - All we can do is hope(; Thank you for reviewing!_**

**_Trainwreck2212 - xD Haha your reviews and freak outs always make me laugh. But yes I understand, so many confused emotions c(: and trust me I hate James too Lmao_**

**_MsftsStayStrong - Thank you so much!(:_**

**_Lisapizzalol - Well thank you so much for reviewing(: _**

**_Lemoso - Thank you! And that's true but since I'm trying to use the same personalities (somewhat) from the tv characters Mitchie and Alex, Mitchie was happy with Shane while Alex always stood out as a tomboy to me c(: _**

**_Not-Gonna-Happen-Du ude - Thank you! I'm glad you're not that upset on how it went c(: one of the fews. Lmao_**

**_All the Guests, Demenaforever13, thatwizardatCR, Peetahpan, DemiIsMyHero, Jswizzle1213, Nightingale11, Tie, Vivi199898, Lovaticfamily11 - Thank you guys for all the reviews and semi freak outs xD Lmao hope you enjoy this chapter(:_**

* * *

_Alex's POV_

I'm an idiot. The biggest idiot you'll ever meet.

I shouldn't have kissed Mitchie, I shouldn't have taken advantage of her vulnerability. I shouldn't have messed up our friendship because of my selfish needs. It's been three days after the kiss, and I never expected everything to end this way. I didn't expect Mitchie to act like this. All those times I thought she was different, I may have just been wrong.

Word of advice, don't take a risk that you know you won't be able to overcome if it takes a bad turn. Especially if you can't turn around and go the other way. I reached a dead end, and got trapped inside it.

I messed everything up. I didn't care to think what would have happened if things went unplanned, that was my mistake. Then again, I'm the real imbecile. In what alternate universe would I have actually been able to be with Mitchie? I mean for god's sake, I met her at a Christian Boarding School, am I really that stupid? Everyday we're taught that homosexuality is not acceptable, in any way possible. But I'm not gay. I just love Mitchie… why is it such a crime? I want to be with her.

Desperately, I want to just be with her. I don't care if no one accepts, I just want her. I don't like girls, I don't like a guy, my eyes are only set on Mitchie. It's so bad, that I'd settle on strictly being just friends instead of not having her in my life at all.

She doesn't talk to me anymore. She doesn't notice my presence anymore. It's like I'm completely nothing to her. She recently started waking up earlier and always leave the dorm before I have the chance to wake up. And she tries her best to always be out, and just enter the room to sleep or shower. She doesn't want to be around me anymore. In a way, I see disgust in her eyes. And I'm hurt.

I was always afraid of hurting Mitchie once our friendship developed but never in a million years would I have expected her to be the one to break me. To completely break my heart. I finally experienced my first heart break, and it's hell. I'm trying my best to mask away my emotions but slowly it's eating me alive. When she's not in the room, I break down crying. I gasp for air when my cries continue to clog my throat. My pillow slowly starts to go black with all the mascara and eyeliner that drips onto it. Even my eyes are starting to go numb with all the rubbing that I do to try to stop the tears. Eventually all my tissues ran out so I just use the sleeve of my sweatshirt or the collar of my shirt. I didn't care anymore because I've started feeling as if I'm slowly losing control of my own world.

I use to hate it when girls would make a big deal of their boyfriends breaking off their relationship. I use to call them dumbasses and swore I would never turn out that way. I jinxed myself. Because now I'm that girl with undeniable broken feelings who keeps on weeping. But here's the difference, I was never in a relationship with Mitchie, as much as I wanted to, it was never like that. Also, I still wouldn't fully classify myself as one of those girls because I actually tried to fix it. Most of the heart broken girls would just continue to whine about it and not try to do something to restore it or get over it, but I did. I didn't fix it, but I tried to. Shouldn't that count as something? At least I put in the effort unlike other people.

When I kissed her, I tried to repair the damaged pieces. I waited for her to come back into the room after she stormed out. I waited for hours but she didn't show up. My cries eventually dragged me to sleep so I couldn't go on any longer. In the middle of the night, I semi woke up and found her sleeping in her bed but I knew it wasn't the right time to wake her up. I decided to try again the next day, key word, _try. _She woke up before I did and was already out of the room. That still didn't stop me though. I walked all over the campus looking for her and finally found her with some classmates. I went up to her and tugged on her arm. Each tug, was just a fresh breeze to her because she didn't even care to turn around. She didn't care to acknowledge my existence, she brushed me off.

I finally got the hint and just went back to my room. She didn't even follow. Deep inside, that's all I wanted, for her to just follow me and comfort me like she always did, but she didn't. She didn't do any of that. I was a complete stranger to her, I was someone who wasn't even worth her time anymore. I mean did I really mean so little to her? Was she the one who lied this whole time?

Why can't my life be simple? Why must it be so difficult? Yeah yeah everything happens for a reason… bullshit. Everything happens because you have impeccable bad luck and karma. My motto use to be 'Get Over It', but now I finally understand why it's so difficult to just do that.

"Mitchie! Over here!" I hear some girl on the other side of the classroom yell out. I turn my head slightly to see Mitchie standing underneath the door way, avoiding my gaze and walking past me to sit next to the girl that just called out. I sighed and looked at the seat next to me, her seat. The one where she hasn't sat in so far this week.

I pull out my textbook and grab a Bible from the back before the teacher had a reason to yell at me. I open it up and as discreetly as I could, slipped one of my earphones inside the sleeve of my sweatshirt until my hand was able to grasp it. I looked down at my book pretending to read and rested my head onto my palm, covering the one earphone that I held and finally pressed play on my IPod. I closed my eyes and tried to drift into another world.

I felt something hit my head. At first I ignored it but it continued once again with a hissing noise in the background. I open my eyes and turn around to see Harper who mouthed 'wake up' to me, silently pointing at the teacher who was about to come towards my desk. I nodded and turned off my IPod and switched to the page that we were supposed to be on. Before the teacher was able to come towards my desk and check my work, the bell rang causing her to turn around and walk away from me. Internally I thanked God and started packing my stuff at a dreadful pace.

Harper already left the classroom, so I just took my time in putting my stuff away. The next thing I hear is high heels stepping and clacking on the terrazzo floor. I didn't bother to look up until I hear the one voice that I wasn't in the mood for at the moment.

"Russo, what's going on?" Gigi asks with a smirk and I rolled my eyes.

"What are you talking about?" I replied rudely. Just wanting her to get as far away from me as possible.

"You and Mitchie, weren't you freaks like best friends, and now I haven't even seen you guys say a word to each other. Aw did she finally ditch you?" She teased while leaning on my book, not allowing me to pick it up. I didn't respond as I tried to get my book but she continued to put more pressure onto it.

"Give me my book" I commanded seriously and she laughed. She lifted her hand and I finally grabbed it. I tried to walk away but she stood in front of me, blocking me from escaping.

"Move." I said sternly and she continued to smirk, crossing her arms in front of her.

"Aw, she did ditch you. How sad" She replied and I stepped up to her.

"Get the hell out of my way!" I yelled out to her and she rolled her eyes. I shoved past her while hearing her imitate a dog bark to me.

Angrily I walked back to the room ready to scream into my pillow in frustration. I open the door and walk inside, not expecting to see _her _inside as well. To my surprise, I see her turn around and face me for a second until she faced away again. I shut the door and sit on my bed, feeling completely uncomfortable at the awkward silence. I couldn't take it anymore.

"Mitchie." I say in a low voice. No response. I stand up and call her name again. This time she stood up as well, heading towards the door. I was able to make it in front of the door before she was able to reach it. Her hand was on the handle but my body held the door closed. Wanting to finally talk to her once and for all.

"Mitchie! Will you just listen to me!" I yell out to her and she still doesn't look up to me.

"Let me out." She finally lets out sternly.

"Wow, after days of not talking and those are the three words you first say to me." I remark and she continues to look down.

"Can you please just let me explain?" I began pleading, reaching out to her but she jumped back right when my hand made slight contact with her shoulder.

"Don't touch me!" She yells out unexpectedly to me.

"For fuck's sake Mitch! You can't be serious right now." I reply irritated and hurt. She crosses her arms and keeps a distant between us. What the hell does she think I'm going to do, rape her?

"It's like I don't even know you anymore..." I whisper sadly to her and she looks up to me with anger in her eyes.

"Me? What about you!" She screams out to me and I try to step closer to her but she backs away again.

"Mitchie we're best friends!" I scream back after her action.

"WERE best friends! Don't come any closer to me!" She replies and I felt my heart crack even more. I looked down, not wanting her to see me in tears. I step away from her and she takes it as an opportunity to finally walk out of the room. I hear the door slam and at the same time felt my heart drop.

* * *

Two more days pass and it's still the same. Actually no, it's getting worse.

I don't understand why she's treating me like crap. It was only one simple kiss. How much of a big deal was it? I mean I understand a shocked freak out but eventually they'll get over it, yet she's holding it against me. She won't even let me explain myself. Although, I doubt it'd make my situation better, I just want to come clean. I want to tell her everything and just hope for the best.

Hope that she'll still be my friend because I've never grown so close to someone. I can't just lose her, I can't lose her friendship. All the times she acted as if our friendship was everything she cared about is exactly how I'm truly feeling.

And the worst part is she has no reaction to our lost friendship. Like it didn't affect her one bit. Or she's one hell of an actress, but I doubt it. The way she acts around me now, shows she doesn't care. But her eyes, I just can never read them. Sometimes I believe I see sympathy run across them but if she was feeling bad, why won't she just talk to me. I will never understand Mitchie Torres.

I lift my arm and check the time on my watch. It was only 5pm, there's no use in going back to my room just yet. I put on my hoodie, feeling a slight breeze, and not wanting anyone to recognize me if they come upon this area. I had my earphones in as I watched the open field and the other side of the campus from afar. I look down to see a small leaf fall on my lap, I was about to grab it until it drifted away in front of me.

My eyes followed the floating substance as it surfed against the air. Still continuing its path, I see it come to an end as it lightly hits the person's leg. I lift my head higher to see a guy and a girl making out. They finally pull away and I recognized them as Mitchie and James. I didn't even try to move, or try to hide my tears. There was no reason anymore. I ducked my head in the open space that my hugged knees created. Silently sobbing and hoping no one comes around and finds me.

* * *

These past days that I've been alone, I've tried as best as I could to keep myself busy. To try to get things off my mind and not think about Mitchie. I've been hanging out with Harper as much as time allowed us. She's been helping me by being a distraction for my mind. I have actually been enjoying spending time with her but it'll never be the same like spending time with Mitchie.

She's out there, still making out with James nonstop while I'm all alone, completely destroyed. Figures.

I wish I had someone I could speak to about this but of course no one is by my side who's willing to listen and not judge me. That's pretty hard to find nowadays, especially in these type of communities. They just don't exist.

I walk into the cafeteria and sit down at my regular table. Glancing to my right to see Mitchie sitting with other people I could really care less for. I tried to lay my head on the table and close off the world for a bit but the commotion all around made it almost impossible. Lazily I get up, walking towards the trash can to throw away my food. Before I had the chance to reach the garbage, my tray was flipped upwards towards my body. I shriek but not that loudly as I feel and watch all the food smothered onto my clothes. I look up to see Gigi smirking and slowly walking away. I run up to her and grab her shoulder, turning her around hard and fast.

She stumbles at first but as soon as she regains her balance I shove her.

"What the fuck is wrong with you!" I scream out to her causing almost everyone in the cafeteria to pay their attention to us.

"Watch it Russo!" She yells back and I step forward to her.

"Keep messing with me and I promise you're going to regret it." I threaten her and she rolls her eyes. She lets out a snarky comment that I couldn't fully comprehend but still annoyed me none the less. I turn around and start walking away knowing I couldn't let things get too far. Everyone turned back to each other, probably disappointed that they weren't able to view a fight.

I speed walk out of the building and start pacing across the field, ready to change out of my food stained clothes. I come to a halt when I feel my arm being tugged backwards. I yelp at the strong grip to come face to face with Mason. Can my day get any worse?

"What do you want Mason" I ask trying to get out of his grip.

"Alex it's been months!" He tells me and I roll my eyes. I wish he would just take a hint.

"Fuck you" I mutter to him, already fully heated with everything else that's going on. His grip tightens on my arm and pain continues to grow stronger.

"Alex, listen—"

"Let go of me!" I cut him off with a yell but he still doesn't listen to me.

He was about to whisper something in my ear but surprisingly out of nowhere he let go of my arm. I start to rub it, feeling the internal throbbing. I look up and follow his gaze and notice he's viewing a teacher that's passing by. I walk up to the teacher, and started casually talking to her. Feeling his glare behind my head as I left him there.

As soon I was able to ditch the teacher, I went back to my destination. I slam the door behind me and made it towards my bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror, I was a mess. I looked down at my arm to find a bruise developing underneath. I feel my eyes tearing up once again. I saw my curling iron on top of the sink and I grabbed it out of anger, throwing it across the room, watching it break into three pieces. I slide down the bathroom wall with my hands covering my face.

My sobs growing louder by the second and my self-control losing itself as I couldn't pause my tears from flowing out. I felt my whole world come crashing down onto my shoulders. Mitchie, Gigi, Mason. Everything possible to cause me hurt, just keeps coming back to me. I don't know what to do anymore. If it's going to be the same like this every day, what's really the point?

I kicked the cabinet in front of me out of distemper while my hands hit the side of my forehead. I hugged my knees again and my body began to shake. I just want all of this to be over!

The bathroom door slowly creaking open made me look up. The one unexpected person was standing in front of my eyes.

"Alex, are you okay?" She asks and I roll my eyes, letting out a sarcastic laugh.

"Oh so you care now? Leave me alone Mitchie." I replied and she just sighed. She came over to me and sat next to me against the wall. She didn't say anything but just kept looking down.

"Why did you do it?" She finally lets out and my heart beat began racing. I wasn't planning to let everything out at this very moment.

"Mitchie, Leave." I replied sternly, not wanting to see her face right now.

"You've been trying to talk to me for over a week! Now when I'm approaching you, you're the one who doesn't want to anymore" She responds angrily and I look up to her with narrowed eyes.

"Are you serious?! Where were you when I needed you the most! You don't fucking care about me! So what, I'm supposed to oblige to your personal schedule?" I tell her and she stays quiet again.

"I do care about you Alex! And you know it. I'm sorry ok." She finally apologized, something I wanted her to do for over a week but I didn't feel as if it was enough anymore.

"You ignored me this whole time! You treated me like shit, like I didn't even exist! That's one hell of a way to show someone you care about them"

"Alex you kissed me!" She screamed out to me and I looked away, finally stopping my tantrum.

"You kissed me. How the hell was I supposed to react to that. That my best friend, who's a girl, kissed me out of nowhere. Why on Earth would you do that?" She continued, calming her voice.

"I don't know." I whispered back to her, feeling my tears arising once more.

"Really, so you just did it out of nowhere for no apparent reason?" She tried to control her tone but I could sense the annoyance forming behind her words.

"I'm sorry for—" She started off but I didn't let her continue.

"Mitchie, I love you." I interrupted her and she looks at me. By her eyes, I knew she comprehended in what way I meant it. She stayed quiet, not saying anything else. My tears escaped my eyes and I began to talk.

"I'm not sorry for kissing you. I'm sorry for how everything else turned out. I'm confused out of my mind Mitch. You can't punish me for that. This is the first time I've ever felt like this towards anyone, especially for a girl, for my best friend—"

My head was pulled to face my left side. Not letting me finish my sentence or my apology at that matter, her lips make contact with mine.

My heartbeat raced even faster, I melted into the kiss. She grabbed my face with her right hand and pulled me in closer. Regaining awareness, I finally kissed back. This was better than my forced one, this was what I was waiting for for months. This was the moment. I started drifting to bliss until I realized what was happening just before her kissing me. As much as I knew I'd regret this, I placed my hands on her shoulder and pushed her off.

"No we can't do this… you're only kissing me because of the state I'm in, you're just trying to make me feel better—" I whispered sadly to her but she didn't let me finish like last time.

"Shut up Alex." I kind of felt insulted with what she just said but I listened to her. She caressed my cheek and started leaning forward at me.

"Mitch—"

"Shut up!" She didn't want me to interrupt her, as I fell into cloud nine when she kissed me again. This wasn't forced, or hurried, or desperate, it was passionate. It was a different side of Mitchie I was never able to meet until now. With my eyes shut she pulls away. It takes a couple of seconds for me to return back to reality and she noticed because she lets out a small laugh.

"No I'm not. I'm sorry I acted the way I did before. I'm sorry for everything. I freaked out because instead you left me confused. But I figured it out already. I want you Alex. I need you in my life. And not in just a friend way anymore…" She whispers to me, responding to my refusal when I pushed her off. She grabbed my hand and she noticed my trembling. She squeezed it and didn't let go. I look up to her eyes, seeing pure honesty. I couldn't believe what my ears were hearing or what my lips were feeling. This felt too surreal. If this is just a sick dream, I'm going to hate myself.

"Alex—" She said worriedly but I kissed her, shutting her up. I felt her relax into the kiss as did I.

This was what I've wanted since the first day I met her, whether I knew it at that time or not, I desired this in my confusion. And I think my wishes just may have come true…

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_**Finally!(; And it only took 17 chapters xD haha, I know I suck. c(: I'm sorry for the long wait for them to be together but oh well.**_

_**Anyways, please review!(: Let me know what you thought of this chapter and the story so far. **_

_**Clue: Throughout the rest of the story, most likely Alex will be your favorite character. I'm not saying Mitchie is going to turn out bad or something like that, but how Alex acts and feels towards Mitchie will make her a very lovable character. You'll understand what I'm saying more into the future. **_


	18. Unexpected Outcomes

**_A/N: So you guys are awesome, Kay? K. I noticed a lot of mixed emotions but c'mon guys, give Mitchie a break(; _**

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. _**

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_"Life takes us to unexpected places sometimes. The future is never set in stone, remember that." _

_― Erin Morgenstern_

There's something about unexpected outcomes that intrigues people. It's the surprise that's received afterwards. Whether it was a good or bad result of action, it's an invisible rope that drags you in. Never would I have thought that Alex would develop feelings for me, nor the other way. I never had friends who were girls, or any friends at that except for Shane.

When I became friends with Alex, it was strange, I'll admit that. It scared me how comfortable we got with each other, even further than me and Shane ever were. But all the teasing, flirting, touchy-feely, and the blushes that overcame me, I never thought more of it. I always thought that was just how friendship was between two girls. I didn't have anything else to compare it with so I never thought it actually meant more than that. _But it just makes sense. _

Speaking for myself, there was a reason why I became so attached to her. Why I was always sad when we weren't together for a while. And why I was so protective of her with the whole Mason thing. I was jealous. I was jealous that Mason was able to be with her in that way. At the time I knew I was jealous but I just thought I envied him in a friendship way, that she'll spend more time with him than me, but it wasn't that.

I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that from the very beginning I had feelings for Alex because that wasn't the case. I never thought of her in that way. That idea never crossed my mind. The idea of being with her or with any girl just never entered my head. Alex and I formed a very strong bond that was already unusual. It was until she kissed me that everything came crashing down in my head. When all these thoughts floated around about Alex in a non-friendly way.

I started reliving each moment I had with her, wondering why I use to always blush so hard whenever I was with her. How she use to compliment me and my heart pounded faster. I started comparing her with James. Huge difference. With him, his compliments were always sexy and hot, and I never felt anything inside when he said that or when he kissed me. But with Alex, every little compliment she slipped out like beautiful and gorgeous made me ecstatic internally, made me feel like I was actually someone. And when she kissed me, I didn't want it to end. Everything felt so right, everything came into place, but only in my heart, not in my mind.

I kissed her back that day, I don't know if she noticed or not, but once my mind programmed back on, I pushed her off. I freaked out. Because of how I started feeling, it wasn't normal, it wasn't right, not in my head, but it was what I deeply wanted. I couldn't admit it to myself. I tried pushing her away, days and days passing with her constant reaching out and I kept ignoring her. Every day, slowly I was breaking her and that was killing me. I wanted to comfort her, I really did but I thought being away from her would make me "normal" again. I kept on hanging out with James, trying to develop those same feelings that I buried deep inside for Alex but it never worked.

I couldn't do it anymore. Once I saw her almost get in a fight with Gigi, I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't have been so heartless and not go after her that time. It took a couple of minutes of mentally debating myself but I stood up and went to our room, hoping she was there. Walking inside the bathroom, seeing her on the floor in tears showed me how horrible I really was. She tried pushing me away, I knew she didn't want to see me anymore but I needed to know why she kissed me. I wanted to know if she actually had feelings for me or not. Once she admitted it to me, I stayed quiet. I didn't know what to say and she continued to yell. I acted on instinct knowing she wouldn't shut up or stop crying and hoped for the best, so I cut her off by bringing her into a kiss.

That was when I finally admitted everything to myself and to her. Why I never found any guy attractive, why I never crushed on Shane who was the perfect guy to fall for, why I felt different towards girls, because _I'm gay._ I stopped living in denial and prayed she'd still want to be with me after everything I did to her. How she forgave me for all my bullshit still leaves me in astonishment. Just because she forgave me doesn't mean I still don't feel horrible. I'm not good enough for her. She deserves so much better and anyone would be able to tell. She's got such a good heart that that will only cause her pain in the end. And I'm so fearful that I'll be the one to redo it and just completely leave her in pieces.

I turn my head to the right to catch Alex staring at me. I started feeling a bit self-conscious.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked worriedly and she smiled, still not looking away.

"You're just so beautiful." She simply whispered causing me to look down and hide my blush.

"Never would I've ever thought I'd be so lucky" She continued in the same awe-filled tone. I blushed again but had a different emotion enter me. She seemed to notice because she got off her bed and sat next to me.

"What's wrong?" She asks in concern and I shake my head, trying to play it off.

"Nothing." I said and she gave me a look reassuring me that she didn't believe me.

"Mitch I know you, now what's really wrong? C'mon you can tell me anything." She replied and I sighed knowing I couldn't get out of this.

"It's just, no one's ever looked at me the way you do. You look at me like I'm the only person that matters…" I whispered still not looking up at her. She tilts my head to face her and I saw a small smile on her face.

"That's because you never met the right person. And I hope I can be that for you." That she is. She's the most amazing and perfect person I've ever met.

"To me, you_ are_ the only person that matters." She continues and I stare into her eyes, she lifts her hand and wipes a tear away that I didn't even notice fall.

"Can I kiss you?" She asks and I couldn't help but let out a small laugh.

"Alex, you don't have to continue to ask for my permission." I chuckled and she did the same but finally leaned into me, making our lips fit perfectly together. It's that amazing moment when you realize you can do this anytime you want. That amazing moment when you realize you two are really together. And finally that amazing moment when you realize how truly wonderful and flawless they really are to you.

"Alex, what are we doing?" We break apart with our foreheads still leaning on each other.

"Um well we were just kissing…" She says unsure and I let out another laugh.

"No I mean, you know this is so wrong…" I tell her sadly and she sighs.

"I know Mitch but it doesn't matter."

"We can get kicked out if anyone finds out about us…" I hate to be the Debbie Downer but I'm just worried. I don't want us to get separated.

"No one will find out, ok. All I care about is being with you. This is what I want, and I don't care about the consequences. It's worth the risk." She tells me while caressing the back of my hand, I smile.

"I want this too. So bad."

"Then just be with me. Live in the moment. And I promise I'll treat you the way you deserve to be treated and love you the right way." She tells me and all I felt was pure happiness. Her words were words that everyone wishes to hear said to them and I have my dream sitting right in front of me. There weren't any words that would represent my answer so I just kissed her. I kissed her hoping she'd understand how grateful I am to have her. I kissed her with as much emotion I was able to seize.

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We walked into the classroom together, not holding hands or anything but genuinely happy right next to each other. I sat in my rightful spot next to Alex, ready to start off my day in a perfectly good mood. I notice Gigi rolling her eyes at us, I ignored it, not wanting to waste my time on her. I paid my attention back to Alex.

It's hard to listen to her story when I keep getting distracted by everything else about her. Her wavy hair that reaches just below her shoulders. Her brown eyes that I can get lost in for hours during the day. Her adorable nose. Her incredible hotness in a school girl uniform. Just her natural beauty overall. My eyes made it down to her glossy lips and I couldn't move them from staying there.

"—And the cat ate the mouse." I hear her say leaving me completely confused.

"Huh?" I let out and she laughs, shaking her head.

"I knew you weren't listening to me, you know you should really try to get out of that habit of staring at my lips." She teases and unintentionally I licked my lips, finally moving my eyes to meet her eyes.

"I'm sorry, I just really want to kiss you right now." I whispered honestly staring back down at her lips, she lets out another laugh.

"I can see that. And trust me I do too, desperately." She responds and I let out a sigh, facing the front of the classroom. Just desiring to feel her lips again, wishing lunch time would come already.

The bell rings and I get brought out of my personal thoughts. It took me a couple of seconds to realize that that meant it was already lunch time. Alex was telling me something but I saw her make contact with the classroom door, and automatically her mood drops. She went from happy to almost sad or pissed, I wasn't sure. She packs up her stuff faster than I did.

"Um I'll meet you in the room. I'll get the food, ok?" She simply said and I nodded, deciding I'll ask her what's wrong once I make it to the room. By the time I finished packing up, she was already long gone. I turn around and start walking to the door to exit the classroom. Once I reach the hallway my body is spun to the right with someone's hand on my butt. I come face to face with James. Ah of course, that's probably who she saw which caused her to be mad.

"Hey sexy" He says while pulling me in closer with both hands still grabbing my butt. He leans in ready to kiss me but I turn my head fast, giving him the cheek instead.

"Um ok?" He says and tries again but this time I move my head backwards away from his and place my index finger on his lips. He lets go of me and gives me a strange look.

"Stop playing games girl" He lets out irritated. I roll my eyes and step away from him.

"I can't do this anymore." I said and he still seemed confused. This guy is seriously dumb.

"I'm breaking up with you. Do you understand that now?" I let out and his eyebrows furrow.

"What, why!" He lets out and I sigh.

"I just don't want to be with you anymore." I simply said in a bitchy tone.

"But we haven't even hooked up yet! This is so bullshit" He says a little bit louder and I narrow my eyes. Is this guy freaking serious? That's the only thing he's upset about. I start to walk away but not before I heard him mutter something else.

"Fucking waste of time" He lets out and I keep on walking, flipping him off from behind. How I made out with him, just utterly disgusted me. One thing that Alex never brought up was James, which I found pretty weird. She didn't even bother to ask me to break up with him once we got together, like she felt it was a waste of breath. I guess that's why I had to do it. She probably expects me to date both of them, but I could never go that low, especially not to Alex. She means so much more than that jackass who just wants to be able to admit he 'tapped that'.

I turn the knob of the dorm and walk in, closing it from behind. Without any time to look up, my body gets pinned up on the wall. With Alex's hands on my waist, kissing me with all her might. My hands reached her cheeks but eventually my arms wrap around the back of her neck, pulling her in closer. Before I was able to deepen the kiss, she pulled away.

"Thank you." She whispers and it took me a while to exit cloud nine.

"Huh?" I finally let out, already missing her lips on mine.

"What you did. You broke up with James. I wasn't trying to be nosey but I couldn't help it. So thank you." She replied and I smiled, not even caring that she was eavesdropping on me. I grabbed her face and pulled her in for another kiss. This was a million times better than kissing James, no competition.

She still held me against the wall and I pulled her body closer to mine. I was in a complete different world kissing her. I couldn't take it anymore, I wanted to taste her, desperately. My tongue licked her bottom lip and almost immediately she granted me entrance. Our kiss deepened, and our tongues met. I was in pure daze and I didn't want it to end. Eventually lack of air overtook us and we pulled away breathing heavily with our eyes closed.

"Wow" She whispers looking up to me.

"Yeah" I reply, taking deep breaths, still lost in our kiss. We smiled at each other and she leaned in for a peck and finally let go of my waist, grabbing onto one of hands instead.

"C'mon the food's getting cold" She tells me, pulling me towards the desk. There was only one chair in front of it, because the other one was on my side of the room. I was about to go grab the other one but she sat down and pulled me onto her lap. She wrapped her arms around me and I laughed.

"Lex, I'm going to crush you." I advise her, knowing how much I weigh. She shakes her head and rests her head on my back.

"I'm perfectly fine. Now eat." She tells me while handing me my food.

_Alex's POV_

Who would have thought?

That I'm actually with Mitchie. Not in the friendly way anymore but in the way that at any moment I can just kiss her or compliment her at random times. I don't have to worry about hiding my emotions and I can finally express them to her without feeling scared of her response. God, so much has happened these past two weeks. So much drama, yelling, tears but for me it was so worth it. Because in the end, after all that bullshit, I'm finally able to admit that I'm dating Mitchie Torres. Well not to anyone in our school or family but that's beside the point.

I don't have to brag to everyone that I'm with the most gorgeous girl to make me feel like a winner. Just having her, even if we have to hide it, makes me one of the happiest girl in the world. Despite everything she did. I understood her intentions so there's no point in holding it against her.

A lot of people probably would think I'm being stupid for forgiving her but they just don't know Mitchie like I do. She's a good person, all in all. But she's not perfect, no one is, she'll make mistakes, and one of her flaws is that she doesn't know how to carefully handle things without freaking out or doing a complete one-eighty. I absolutely understand that. She's still hasn't reached her right of mind yet, I mean look at all she had to go through this whole past year. That's why I forgave her, and also because I undeniably fell for her and I won't let anything get in between of us being together.

I'm hopelessly in love and I don't want it to terminate. I'm not terrified to confess it.

Maybe I'm acting like this because she's my first love, but I've never felt so sure of something like this in my entire life. All I want is to hold her in my arms, tell her every single thing she deserves to be told, kiss her every moment of the day, I want to be her protection from ever being in pain again. I just want her happy but most of all I want to be the reason for that smile on her face. That's my satisfaction.

I enjoy the butterflies that flutter in my stomach when I'm around her. The blushes she strives to get out of me, in which she always achieves. The flips my heart makes when she expresses her feelings to me by either just complimenting me, or by simply kissing me. Either one causes me to recognize this unique feeling that I've never felt before.

I flip the page and continue to read the excerpt. There was nothing else to do but read so I decided to grab a magazine from the stand outside in our hallway. I was laying on my stomach over my covers, slamming my face on my pillow, trying to keep myself awake. I've only scanned half a page and my eyes are already struggling to stay open, and it's only 7pm. This is so not my thing.

I hear the door open and in a quick motion I feel Mitchie's front make contact with my back, most likely after running and just jumping on top of me without giving me time to acknowledge her.

"Is this payback for all the times I did this to you?" I tell her, finally feeling all her weight transfer onto my back. She laughs and I turn my head to my left to see Mitchie resting her head on my shoulder, smirking.

"Maybee…" She replies mischievously and I playfully roll my eyes. She kisses my cheek and rolls off of me, still lying next to me.

"Noo! I was warm." I pouted feeling the cold air hit where Mitchie's body was once covering.

"Well too bad" She stuck out her tongue at me and I laughed at her adorable expression. She was about to get off my bed but I pulled her towards me. Accidently, she ended up falling on top of me again but this time with both of our fronts pressed against each other. I smirked and she rolled her eyes, looking down at our position.

"You're enjoying this aren't you?" She asks me with a smirk.

"Can't really complain. You're just too irresistible." I winked at her and kissed her, my first intentions before she fell on top of me. She smiled at me and got off of me. But I noticed it wasn't a pure smile, but a forced one.

"Why do you always do that?" I asked worriedly once she sat down on the edge of her bed.

"Do what?" She tried to play the dumb card but I knew better.

"You know what. One minute you'll seem genuinely happy with me but once I compliment you, your mood changes. Did I do something wrong?" I ask her and she immediately shakes her head.

"God no, you haven't done anything wrong Alex. These past few days, you've been perfect to me." She replies and I got more worried. Assuming the worse.

"Then what's wrong?... Do you not want to be with me? If it's that, I'll appreciate it if you'd just tell—" I started off but she quickly stopped me.

"No! No. Trust me, I want to be with you, I really do." Here comes the 'but', it always does.

"But…?" I ask her.

"But I just don't understand." She says with sad eyes, leaving me bewildered.

"Why do you want to be with me?" She asks and I let out a breath of relief, thinking she was going to break it off before we even had a chance to start. I sighed.

"Look at everything I've done to you. I was breaking you. I was a complete jack ass. I don't deserve your forgiveness." She continues and I get up, sitting next to her.

"I don't care." I simply answered honestly and she looked up at me, I saw the guilt in her eyes.

"I don't care what you did, because it's in the past." I continued and she shook her head.

"Lex, that's your problem right there. You're too nice, way too nice for your liking. I could completely screw you over and you'd still take me back. I did horrible things to you. I don't deserve you—" She said and I grabbed her hand.

"Stop saying that. I know what I deserve and what I want and it's you. Plain and simple. I forgave you for what you did, I know why you did it, now just forgive yourself. Please stop thinking so much about it. Like I always say, get over it. Because I did." I answered her and she gave me a small smile, still not fully convinced. But still leaned into me and kissed me. I smiled and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, out of her face.

"So are we good?" I ask her and she smiles, nodding her head. I brought her into a hug, rubbing her back and giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"Now go to bed, we have school tomorrow." I told her, getting off her bed and she nodded. Mitchie quickly changed into her night wear while I was ready to lay down on my bed. I lifted the covers, prepared to go underneath until Mitchie's voice stopped me.

"Alex?" She calls out.

"Yeah?" I respond facing her while she turns her body to look at me too.

"Um can you sleep with me tonight? Please" She asked anxiously and I swallowed deeply.

"Uh, yeah sure." I said feeling nervous all over again. I walk towards her bed and turned off the lamp, lying next to her. Not really knowing what to do. I mean we're dating now, isn't there like some boundaries or something? Should I face the other way or should I scoot in closer? While mentally questioning myself, I feel Mitchie scoot closer to me and wrap her arms around my stomach, cuddling into my body. I thanked God that she was the one who made the first move and finally relaxed into her. I open my arms and she rests her head on my chest and I held her tighter.

"Goodnight Alex" She whispered in the dark and I kissed her forehead.

"Goodnight beautiful" I whispered into her ear and closed my eyes, drifting off to sleep.

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_**Pretty relaxing chapter. Hoped you enjoyed it. Please Review!(:**_

_**Clue: Never leave your guard down. I have so much stuff already planned out for the rest of the story(; **_

_**I hope to post the next chapter by Saturday, I posted this one early because it's a very special day today(; **_

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_**It's Demi Lovato's birthday! Ahhh! She has finally reached her big 21 and instead of partying, she's out in Africa doing charity work. Asdfghjkl bless her heart(': **_

_**Anyways, so I also found out Demi will star in a couple of episodes with Adam Lambert on season 5 of Glee. Excuse me, while I go have a heart attack. I get to see her in like what six episodes of pure singing and acting? This is too much to handle. I'm so fucking fan girling right now. I seriously need to hurry up and catch up on all the seasons .-. **_

_**I'm sorry, I just utterly love her. That is all. Continue on with your lives. xD **_

_**Waittt, one more thing. Who else heard about those rumored naked pictures of her? I really hope the guy who's trying to sell them, are really just fake ones. I'm seriously going to get pissed if people start bad mouthing her. Then again, if they're real those pictures are probably hot, I mean It's Demi Lovato naked, that's just pure sexiness... ok you know what, whateverrrrr. xD I'm sorry for wasting your time Lmfaoo **_


	19. You're My Drug

**_A/N: I know I was suppose to post this yesterday but I was having a hard time writing this chapter. This one has more dialogue than thoughts but either way I hope you guys somewhat like it._**

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot._**

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**_Thank you guys for all the reviews, I'm in a hurry so I'm not going to be able to respond to your reviews until the next chapter/: _**

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_"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth." _

_― Jess C. Scott_

Love. It's an odd concept, don't you think? No one can really describe it, maybe that's why it's characterized as unexplainable. No words can really show your love to someone, it's the actions you do that helps display that affection. Sometimes it'll be big gestures but most of the time, it's those small things that barely anybody notices. For example, noticing you did something different towards your look, or those spontaneous kisses, or even those sweet compliments they throw out. Every single act that they show, just makes you one of the happiest person on the planet. Or so I've been told.

Growing up, I always dreamt of my prince charming. Least did I know, it would turn out to be a princess instead. In a way, I like the change of events. I'm not upset that I didn't reach my suppose goal that I made up when I was younger. Whether it was a prince or a princess, I was still hoping for one main thing, and one thing only. To feel loved. Special. To feel as if you finally matter in someone's life. To feel as if you can actually be that person who makes their day better. And lastly, to reciprocate all those deeds back to your soul mate.

I assume love is where everything you do with them is fluid, not forced. It's one of the easiest thing you can ever do. As if it comes naturally and you don't even realize it. Being yourself, is not a topic of discussion anymore because you're always expressing your true self towards them. Because you feel safe and know you won't be harmed by them. Because you have trust in them.

I have much trust in Alex. If I didn't, I would have never opened up to her about my personal life. I've vented to her numerous of times, she knows me like the back of her hand. And for once, that doesn't scare me, because I have trust in her. Trust that she won't hurt me in any matter of way, or at least not intentionally, which is all that matters. But I'm not sure about the love part.

I've never experienced love. I've only experienced family and friendly love. Towards my sister and towards Shane. So how will I know if I'm in love with Alex? I mean I love her, I really do. She's my dream come true. But every time I try to figure out the emotion of love, everybody always says, you'll just know. That doesn't really help my case at all. I don't know, maybe it'll just be a random moment that I get hit by something and I'll realize that I'm in love with her. So until then, I'll wait, and happily be with her.

I stare at the semi dark wall in front of my face while I'm lying on my left side. I can see the small streaks of sunlight arising from the small window, reflecting onto the wall. I don't know what time it is, but I know it's much earlier than the time I'm supposed to wake up for school. Predicting, it's not that long till my alarm clock goes off, I knew it'd be a waste of time trying to go back to sleep. My eyes finally adjust to the dark room and I was able to make out the outline of most of the furniture in the room. I look down and see Alex's right arm draped over my waist. I smiled and intertwined my left hand with her right.

These past two weeks Alex has been sleeping in my bed next to me. She was skeptical at first but my continuous pleading finally made her give in. After the first couple of days where I'd have to ask her to sleep with me, it eventually became a nightly routine. Now, I don't even have to request her to come, she just situates herself right next to me during bed time. I don't know why I developed the urge of always wanting her to sleep next to me. She just makes me feel comfortable and peaceful when I'm snuggled into her embrace. One of the best sensations I've encountered throughout my whole existence.

I let go of her hand and turn my body slowly and softly, not wanting to stir her awake, and face her. I hold my head up with my right hand. She looks so adorable when she's asleep. She has a bit of messy hair, some strands in her face. Her eyes peacefully closed and her mouth slightly opened. The cutest image I've seen. I move the strands of hair out of her face and lean in, kissing her forehead.

She hums quietly and I see a small smile appear on her face. She rubs her eyes and looks at me.

"Good morning" I whispered to her with a smile. She returned the greeting and then gave me a weird look. She turns her body and picks her phone up from the stand, turning it on, only viewing the home screen.

"Why are you awake so early? We're not supposed to wake up until twenty more minutes." She asks me and I shrug.

"I don't know, I couldn't sleep any longer." I honestly said and she gives me a concern look.

"I just wasn't tired, don't worry" I told her, relaxing her worries. She nods and wraps her arms around me. It was a comfortable silence that surrounded us.

"Why are you so flawless?" I ask, fully mesmerized by her.

"Trust me, I'm not so perfect." She replies with an odd tone.

"As much as you keep denying it, it isn't going to make it any less true." I told her and she faces me with a smile. I leaned in and kissed her. We pulled away and she had a sparkle in her eyes. I knew what it meant. She was about to say those three words. She opened her mouth and the alarm rung right on cue. Oh thank god.

"C'mon, it's time for school" I told her while getting out of my bed and she nodded.

* * *

The only thing that made me get through my day was being with Alex all the time and of course because it was Friday. I was stressed out enough from school, I just want to have a relaxing weekend with Alex. I hear the door open and I see Alex walk inside. She has a bright smile on her face and comes up to me, kissing my cheek.

"Hello gorgeous" She says cheerfully and then falls backwards onto her bed. She sits up on the edge.

"Lovely day isn't it?" She advises me and I give her a strange look. She pats her thigh, gesturing me to sit on her lap. I shake my head and she gives me a puppy dog face, knowing I couldn't resist it, reluctantly I got up.

I sat on her lap and she wrapped her arms around my waist while I wrapped mine around her neck. I kissed her lips and she hummed in satisfaction.

"I could kiss you all day and I will never get tired of it" She whispers to me and I raised one of my eyebrows. I reached her hair and took in her scent.

"Alex are you high?" I ask concerned, I couldn't smell anything on her but she was still acting weird all of a sudden. She laughs.

"Lex you know you shouldn't be doing drugs—" I continued and she shook her head.

"Do I even smell like Marijuana?" She interrupted me with a small giggle. I shook my head again.

"I'm not high, if anything you're my drug." She replies honestly, resting her head on my neck. I blushed and kissed her again.

"Good. Let's keep it that way" I smirked at her and she kissed me again. We fell into another moment of silence but this time she was the first to break it.

"Mitch?"

"Yeah?"

"Go out with me." She simply said and I looked up at her, confused.

"I thought we were already going out…" I said unsure and she giggled again.

"No I mean go out with me, tomorrow night, like a date." She said shyly and I couldn't help but just smile.

"So, how about it?" She asks me and I kissed her, simply grabbing her face and tasting her lips again.

"Should I take that as a yes?" She says and I laughed.

"Yes dummy. I'd love to go on a date with you" I said and her smile grew even bigger but then turned into a smirk. Without time to process anything, she picked me up bridal style and started twirling in circles.

"Lex! You're going to drop mee!" I call out worried that she wouldn't be able to keep me up much longer.

"I'm not gonna let you fall. And even if I do, I'll always be there to catch you." She simply whispered to me. It had a double meaning and I knew she hoped I'd catch on. I stayed quiet and just smiled. She made it towards my bed and dropped me on top. I was still holding onto her neck so she hovered above me. She was staring into my eyes and I couldn't help but bite my bottom lip. She softly connected her lips on mine.

We were in our own little world. For the first time, she was the one to beg for entrance. She was always so scared to go too far with me that she'd want me to make the first move. My astonishment went away and I slightly opened my mouth. Our tongues against each other, I couldn't help but let out a small moan that I didn't even know was kept inside me. It was very low so I knew she didn't hear me.

She always tasted so delicious. Most of the time, she'd taste so minty, as if she always brushes her teeth before she kisses me. Our kiss kept deepening and this time I let out an audible moan. I felt our kiss slow down as she noticed my small slip up. But in only a matter of seconds, she started kissing back again. My body was still laid flat on my back on my bed. Alex was holding herself up by her left arm and my hands reached her face. One of them getting lost in her wavy brown hair. Her right hand was on my waist, not moving or anything but situated in place, almost pinning me down.

I was losing my touch on reality and was starting to shut off the world around me. Then we heard the door knob start turning. Instinctively, I pushed Alex off of me, sitting up and she fell onto the floor.

"Surprise random dorm room inspection time!" The assistant principal exclaimed walking inside. My heart was racing and I looked down at the floor beside my bed. I saw Alex rubbing her head, letting out a groan.

"Oh Sweetie, are you alright?" The lady asked worriedly going up to Alex, examining her. Alex faced me and I mouthed an apology.

"Yeah you just scared me" Alex told the lady who just laughed and nodded. She continued to inspect our room, checking off a list that's held on the clipboard that she's carrying.

"Well alright, you're good. Be careful girls, wouldn't want anyone to get injured." The lady said finally exiting the room. I immediately went towards the door and locked it, then ran to Alex's side.

"I'm so so so sorry Alex. It was a reflex, I didn't mean to—" I started apologizing but she stopped me.

"It's ok. I'm use to hitting my head so many times. Plus if you didn't push me off then we'd be in worse trouble right now" She told me and I smiled.

"But that was really a close call." Alex continued and I nodded my head.

"Yeah! My heart is still racing at the thought of getting caught. Here, I bet you can feel it" I told her while grabbing her hand and placing it over my heart. She could feel my hands still shaking but I don't think it was the best idea to make Alex's hand reach the top of my chest.

"Uh y-yeah I can tell" She said nervously, pulling her hand away.

* * *

"Mitchhh!" I hear Alex whine from the other side of the door. I laughed and rolled my eyes.

"Lex!" I whined back and she let out a small annoyed grunt beneath her breath.

"Why are you taking so long?" She questions me, banging on the bathroom door.

"You're so impatient! I'm doing my makeup" I tell her and she lets out a loud 'ugh'.

"Can I at least come in?" She pleads like a little kid.

"No, I'm not done yet."

"What happened with the times where you didn't even care enough to put on makeup?" She exclaimed.

"I met you, that's what happened." I simply said honestly. I could sense her smirking through the door as she stayed quiet.

"Well I think you look beautiful either way." She said lowly and I shook my head.

"Nope, kissing up will not make me open the door any faster" I told her and she hits the door again.

"Are you slamming your head against the door?" I asked her and she lets out a loud 'yes'.

"Mitchie Torres, if you don't finish up in less than five minutes then—"

"Then what?" I interrupted her with an evil grin knowing she had nothing to hold against me.

"Then, I won't let you kiss me throughout the rest of the weekend" She finished off and my mouth fell open. I unlocked the door to see her right in front of me.

"Is that so?" I whispered to her, sizing her up and down, making a step towards her. She swallowed and stared down at my lips.

"Seems to me, you'd suffer more" I whispered into her ear, breathing down her neck. I pulled away and I notice Alex was fighting to keep her strength. I reached her and kissed her lips. Pulling away after about three seconds and softly tugging her bottom lip between my teeth.

"I already finished up, cry baby" I whispered back to her with a small grin, turning the lights off from the bathroom.

"Tease." Alex calls out, following behind me.

We walk out of the room, with our arms looped around one another.

"So where will we be going this fine night?" I asked her as we continued to walk down the campus.

"I honestly don't know" She told me and I stopped walking, giving her an 'are you serious' look.

"It's called being spontaneous" She winked at me and I let out a giggle.

"Same old Alex, well I may have a suggestion since you obviously have no clue as to where you want to go out for this spontaneous date" She nodded gesturing for me to go on.

"I say we buy something to eat and take it back to the room and watch a movie online." I told her and she smiled.

"I think that's a great idea" She responded.

We walked to the Taco Bell on campus and took our food to go. As relentless as Alex is, she of course didn't allow me to pay for anything. We dived into small talk while heading back to the room. We entered back into the dorm and laid out a bed sheet cover and some pillows onto the floor so we could sit on comfortably. We picked out a romantic comedy from Netflix on the laptop and started eating our food.

I laughed while viewing Alex devouring her taco. She looked up at me with her mouth full.

"What?" She asked and I let out another giggle.

"Slow down tiger, don't want you to start choking again" I told her and she playfully rolled her eyes, swallowing the food she had in her mouth.

"Sorry, I just love tacos!" She exclaimed like an adorable little kid. She lifted her taco in front of me.

"Say ahh" She told me and I knew there was no point in arguing with her. I opened my mouth and took a bite of her taco. I think I understand her obsession now, they tasted unbelievably good.

Halfway through the movie and we still paid little attention to it. Mostly invested in random conversation in mind.

"Mitch?" Alex calls out and I look at her.

"When did you realize you had feelings for me?" She asks me genuinely curious. I turned my whole body to face her.

"Honestly? When you first kissed me." I told her and she smiled.

"And um are you—"

"Yeah. I'm gay. I'm attracted to the same sex." I answered her before she finished her question, already knowing what she was going to ask.

"What about you?" I continued.

"The feelings part or my sexuality?" She asks me.

"Both."

"Um ok, as cliché as it may sound, I think I've always had feelings for you. I always felt some sort of strange attraction towards you, that's why I tried so hard to befriend you when you transferred here"

"Yeah you were persistent as hell" I told her while we both let out a small laugh at the memory.

"But it paid off, didn't it?" She tells me and I caught myself staring at her.

"Yeah, it really did." I whispered to her and she smiled.

"But anyways, I finally realized it when we were changing in the dressing rooms." She admitted with a blush.

"Oh so you had to see me half naked to realize your feelings" I teased her with a smirk and she rolled her eyes.

"Whatever, and as for my sexuality, I'm not gay. At least I don't think I am. I just have feelings for you… I've never really felt like this towards anyone except for you. You're just special" She continued and I blushed. We didn't say anything for a couple of seconds and I grabbed her hand.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" I asked her, realizing we never labeled our relationship. She looked up at me with a grin, staring at my eyes.

"I wanted to ask that first" She whispered to me and I mirrored her grin. She leaned in and kissed me. Alex Russo, my best friend is officially my girlfriend and I couldn't be any happier. Everything else didn't matter anymore, not the teachers, not the bullies, not our parents, not the consequences, except for us and only us being together. Everything from now on, is in our hands, under our control. And no one is going to get in  
between that.

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_**Hoped you liked it(: I know it was boring but it's all part of the plan guys(; Bare with me because the drama starts in chapter 21 (sort of) c(;**_

_**Don't forget to review!(: **_


	20. Tantrums

**_A/N: Sorry for the delay but here it is(: I want to thank everyone who has followed my story and already favorited it! You guys are uh-mazing especially since we have reached the 20th chapter and made it to 200 reviews ((:: I love you guys! _**

**_Anyways, This chapter has a very important section that plays a small but big part for this story, if that makes sense. Lmao_**

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot._**

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**_VeehxD - Lol thank you so much(: and yes, hopefully(;_**

**_Suefanficlover - I'm glad I didn't upset you(: Thank you so much for all the constant reviews, I really do appreciate them, I love receiving your inputs Sue ;* _**

**_Blushyskittle3321 - Thank you, I really hope so, that way I'll have more time on writing this story c(; _**

**_DemiIsMyHero - I totally agree with your opinion, Mitchie has just been through some rough times/: _**

**_Nightingale11 - Lmao I'm glad your opinions have changed about Mitchie(; and Haha normally I'd say don't worry, but hmm, there may be some worrying that should be going on xD and Thank you!(: _**

**_LovezObsessed - Haha it's not that bad(; ok maybe it is, somewhat. Lmfao we'll just have to wait and see c(:_**

**_Lemoso - It's funny you say that, because originally that was going to be my plan but I knew it'd make it way too long and I knew you guys were anticipating for that moment since the beginning, so I couldn't torture you guys as much(; And for real! I wasn't that big of a fan when it came to Glee but once I heard the news I was like 'Ok, it's a must! I need to catch up on all seasons just for Demi' xD haha _**

**_Guest (#1, 8-17-13) - Well hopefully whatever it was, got clarified in chapters 18/19 (:_**

**_Demenaforever13 - Thank you so much(:_**

**_LikeAStorm - Lmfao you're awesome. I just love reading your reviews xD I'm glad you don't hate me, that much(; and me, evil? Whattt, pshh nah... haha and Thank you very much(: And I agree on the whole Glee thing, I'm only starting to watch it and catch up on it just for Demi and Adam Lambert c(: _**

**_Not-Gonna-Happen-Du ude- I understand your opinion, Mitchie was being.. something else. Lmao and aww I'm sorry, but then it'd be boring(; Haha anyways thank youu(:_**

**_Vivi199898 - Haha yes I dropped the ball(; #Finally c(:_**

**_Tomatoes - Yes, yes she is(: And will hopefully stay like that throughout the rest of the story _**

**_Pretty Little Fiction321 - Lmfaoo I understand your pain xD it should be all good though(; Mitchie already apologized for her rude behavior so have faith haha_**

**_Youngandredundant - Lmfao xD nah, that's not Alex's type of thing c(: love the mixed emotions!(: _**

**_Trainwreck2212 - Your freak out was one of my favs xD I hope you still don't hate me so much c(: and aww thank you soo much!(: and I'm sorry but it has to be donee, cause if not _****_you guys will bored for the rest of the story(; _**

**_Peetahpan - Thank you very much!(: _**

**_Lisapizzalol - Thank youu(;_**

**_ThatwizardatCR - Of course(; Drama is always on the way xD _**

**_Shanteanna Brown - Thank youu(: _**

**_LovinThatLovato - Aw thank you very much! I really appreciate it, thanks for giving my stories a chance!(: _**

**_SMarie5 - Thank youu! (:_**

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**_Phew! Now that took a long while xD Anyways enjoyyyy!(: _**

* * *

_"Shanee?" I call out, walking up the stairs of his house. I hear no response so I continue to approach his bedroom. I see the door slightly open and hear no movements coming from within. _

_I slowly push the door, revealing more of the inside of his room. I poke my head inward and see nothing but a messy bed and clothes thrown all over the floor. I roll my eyes, typical Shane. I walk backwards to the top of the stairs and look over the railing to the first floor. Ugh where is he?_

_"Mrs. G?" I yell out and she responds with an 'I'm here' and my confusion continues to rise. _

_"Have you seen Shane?" I continue to yell and it takes a while for her to answer. _

_"He should be upstairs, sweetie." She responds and I sigh, turning around to face the hallway again. After searching all the bedrooms I start to get annoyed. I cross my arms in front of me, tapping my right foot._

_"Shane! Stop playing games and come out!" I yell out irritated waiting for a response. But still nothing. I let out a loud groan, in hopes that he'll hear me and finally give up. I take out my phone from my back pocket. I typed in my number one speed dial and luckily I heard his phone ringing. I walk to where the sound is louder but before I was able to find it, the phone went silent. I take the phone off of my ear and look at the screen to see if it's still calling Shane. _

_In a rapid movement, I see someone in a Jason's mask come out from behind the bathroom door, letting out a 'boo!', causing me to almost get a heart attack and let out a girlish scream. He takes off his mask laughing and I continued to press my right hand over my heart, feeling it race. As he continued to laugh, I punched his left shoulder. _

_"You're such an ass! That's not even funny" I tell him sternly and he continued with that sly smirk on his face. _

_"I'm sorry but that was freaking hilarious" He replies and I give him a death glare. Before I had time to say anything back, he throws me over his shoulder and starts running to his room. _

_"Put me down Shane!" I yelled out to him while hitting his back. _

_"As you wish" He simply said and without giving me a moment to object, he lets go of my legs, making me fall upside down on my head to my back but thankfully on his bed. I wasn't able to refocus once his fingers made contact with my rib cage area. I couldn't breathe as laughter overtook me. _

_"Sh-haha-Shane! S-stop! Haha p-pleasee! I-I give! Ok!" I said in between breaths and he finally stopped tickling me. I continued to try to regain my breathing while he sat there laughing and smiling widely at me. I look at him and he raises one of his eyebrows, smiling and winking at me. I couldn't stay mad at him much longer and I finally let out a laugh alongside his. _

_After a while of talking my eyes unintentionally made contact with his neck. _

_"What's that? I've never seen it on you before" I said while pointing to the half hidden necklace under his shirt and he looked down to see what I was looking at. He immediately stands up and walks to his drawer._

_"Oh crap, I almost forgot" He said while looking inside his drawer for something. He finally finds what he was searching for and hides it behind his back, sitting back down on the bed next to me. I give him a weird look. _

_"I got you a present" He simply said and I smiled immediately at just the thought of him caring enough to get me something. He brings his hand in between us and opens up his fist, revealing a necklace. _

_"Mitch, I've already told you so many times, that you are my best friend in the whole world, and I deeply care and love you, even if you don't believe in yourself, just remember you're always in my heart and I will do as much as I can to protect you from the outside world. I consider you my sister, I don't care if we don't share the same blood because we have that same bond." He finished off and a tear escaped the corner of my eye. He hooked the necklace around me and I grabbed it, looking more closely at it. It was shaped as a guitar pick with his first initial in the middle of it. _

_"I have the exact same necklace but with the letter M on it. To show our true friendship and our love for our guitars" He continued while holding his necklace up to show me. I smiled and brought him into a tight hug._

_"I love you too Shane…" I whispered back to him, not letting go of him. _

I rubbed my thumb over his initial on my necklace, looking down at it, observing every detail of it.

"Mitch?" I get brought back to reality once Alex sits in front of me with our drinks in her hands.

"I'm sorry. Thanks" I tell her while taking a sip of my coke. We continued to eat our meals at the fast food restaurant.

As much as I try to forget about Shane, I know I can never really move on. Shane is still a big part of my life no matter what happened. My only problem is trying to transform my grief into joy. When I think back to him, I don't want to continue to feel sad but feel somewhat happy that I was able to enjoy those moments with him by my side. That's the only way I'll start to feel better.

* * *

I turned the page of my book and continued to read while laying on my bed. Interrupting me from the paragraph, I see Alex enter the room and fall backwards onto my mattress.

"Ugh, thank god for the weekend" She exclaims while closing her eyes temporarily. I laugh and shut my book, setting it to the side. I crawl towards Alex's body and kiss her lips. She smiles and opens her eyes to look at me.

"Hi" She whispers and I smile whispering the same back to her. She turns her body to lay on her stomach and brings me into another kiss. After a couple of seconds, we pull away and I get off the bed.

"Where are you going?" She asks me while I'm putting on my shoes.

"I'm going to go get a newspaper from the hallway" I tell her and she has a confused look on her face.

"Wait those things still exist?" She asks confusedly and I let out a small laugh, shaking my head at Alex's intelligence. But still worried that she may have actually said that honestly and not in a joke.

I quickly go into the hallway and grab the local newspaper off the stand at the end of the pathway and make my way back to the room. Once I enter the dorm, I noticed Alex moved to her bed, on her phone. I sit up on my bed and start browsing through the news. Everything that was written was unimportant information that bored me but then something caught my attention. I read the page and smiled brightly, then called out Alex's name. She lets out a small 'huh' still on her phone.

"I know what we're going to do tomorrow" I told her excitedly and she finally puts her phone away to listen to me.

"And what might that be?" She asks with a smile and I hold up the article in front of her face.

"Uh what exactly am I looking at?" She continued to look all over the page and I sigh, putting the newspaper behind me.

"The fair! The local fair just opened up near here!" I cheered and she didn't say anything. She had a blank expression on her face and stayed quiet.

"Lex?" I called out and she shook her head.

"Sorry, um I don't think that's a good idea." She finally let out, laying back down on her bed.

"What? Why not? C'mon Lex!" I begged and she continued to shake her head with a serious face.

"I just have a lot of homework to do. I can't continue to uh slack off." She said and I gave her an 'are you serious' look. The girl I know doesn't even care about homework so of course I don't believe her. I mean really, who doesn't enjoy walking around and getting on the rides at the fair?

"Fine." I simply said trying to not be upset with her just because for the first time she doesn't want to go out with me. She sighs and grabs my hands.

"I'm sorry, that's just not my thing. We'll do something else alright? Anything you want, just not there." She said with a small smile and I reluctantly nodded, letting it go. She gave me a small peck and went back to browsing through the web on her phone.

* * *

"But I don't want to!" Alex whines, loud enough to make everyone around us give us a glare.

"Do it for me! Pleasee" I tell her and she sighs, thinking about it for a moment.

"Where are we even going?" She asks me and I shake my head.

"It's a surprise. But we're not gonna be able to go if you don't wear the blindfold" I tell her and she groans.

"Mitch, do you know how retarded I'll look if I'm blindfolded while seated down in a public bus" She looks around to all the strangers and I laugh.

"Who cares, it's not like they know you. You're not gonna have to see these people ever again once we make it to our stop" I advise her and she crosses her arms in front of her body.

"The things I do for you." She mutters and I let out a small squeal, digging into my purse to take out the blindfold. She groans as I place it around her head, over her eyes. I look below to try to determine if she can still see through the small gaps around her nose.

"No peaking!" I tell her and I can sense the rolling of her eyes behind the material.

"Yeah yeah yeah" She says while moving her head. I sit back satisfied, looking out the window, anticipating our arrival.

"How much longerrr?" She pouts and I look out the window again and I sense the bus coming to a halt.

"No worries, we're already here" I tell her and grab her hand, pulling her up off the bus seat. She has her arms out in front of her, feeling anything around her to prevent her from bumping into something.

"I got you. Now you have to take three small steps downwards, be careful, I'm right in front of you" I tell her, walking backwards off the bus. Slowly she makes it to the last step and right when she was about to touch the ground with her foot, she stumbles a little but I was able to keep her steady. She holds onto my arm while I lead her to the entrance gates, trying to contain my amusement.

"Can I take this off now? I'm starting to go blind" She exaggerates and I laugh nodding my head.

"Mitch?" She calls out as I forgot that she couldn't see my gesture.

"Oh sorry, yeah you can take it off now" She lets out a loud 'finally' while yanking the blindfold off her eyes. She takes in the scenery with wide eyes.

Even though Alex didn't want to come to the fair, I still thought it'd be a great way to take her stress away. These past weeks we haven't really been in our right mind nor relaxed what so ever, this is like the perfect opportunity to discard the tension we have inside ourselves. Evidently, to just have fun, together.

"Evening Ladies" I get brought out of my thoughts by a local cop who just walked by. I greeted him back with a smile and he walked through the entrance of the fair. Then I recalled that Alex has yet to say anything.

I look back at her and notice the same blank expression on her face but if possible even worse. She went completely pale like the portrayal of vampires on TV. She stayed completely frozen, staring straight through me. I was still holding her hands as I felt her entire body tense up quickly. I've never seen her like this.

"I can't be here" She says seriously, still in the same almost scared position.

"Huh? C'mon Lex, we're already here, let's go" I pull her with me but she resists, her grip on my hand pulls be back to her.

"No. I don't want to go in there." She continues in the same monotone pitch.

"Don't be silly—"

"For fuck's sakes Mitchie, I already said no!" She screams out unexpectedly, making me jump backwards at the sudden outrage. My face expression immediately fell as I experienced the yell go through me. I let go of her hand, stepping backwards, away from her, feeling hurt. She comes back to reality once she realizes what she just did and steps to me with a sad face.

"Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell, I shouldn't have done that. Can we please just go back to campus, I'm just not uh feeling so well." She says apologetically, grabbing my hands in hers and I continued to stay quiet. I nodded with a slight smile and she brought me into a comforting hug, rubbing my back as she takes me back to the bus stop.

* * *

_Alex's POV_

I shouldn't have yelled at Mitchie like that, by no chance is that like me. She was just being so stubborn, but that still isn't an excuse for raising my voice. I truly hope and know that I will not dare to do that again, not to her. I could tell she was hurt and was not expecting that from me, _I _didn't even assume that to come out in that particular way. She didn't say much during the bus ride, I didn't really presume her to.

Once we arrived back to the campus, she finally spoke up again. This time she was trying her hardest to figure out why I didn't want to be there and why it caused me to scream at her. I kept telling her the same thing over and over but she didn't believe me, nor did she let it all go again. I notified her that I was just not feeling well. I guess I should have tried harder to play it off that way but I'm a horrible actress when it comes to Mitchie.

I use to be an expert at lying and getting away with things but now I'm always caught by Mitch. When I look into her eyes, it's enough to break me and tell her the truth. She has this unbelievable control over me that's going to keep screwing me up in the future. I need to perfect my skills before they get worse, it's never too late.

Then again I don't think I've lost my full ability because she finally believed me afterwards. Only because I changed my reason to having a phobia. I said I was afraid of being around large crowds, and surprisingly enough she bought it. I should have thought about it earlier but at least I was able to get it out right on time. I kept on apologizing and she continued saying that she forgives me but that still didn't stop me from my endless sorry.

I look up at Mitchie, seeing her at the desk, writing some stuff down. I call out her name and she turns to me. I pat the side in front of me of my bed, giving her a small smile. For a while she thinks about it but finally puts down her pen and gets up. I pull her in between my legs as I wrap my arms around her from behind, kissing her cheek. She cuddles into me, holding onto my hands.

"Have I already mentioned how sorry I am?" I told her and she laughs, shoving me playfully.

"Yes, seven times exactly. It's ok Lex, really. I understand, you know with you having Enochlophobia and all." She tells me and guilt built up inside me. She turns her head to look at me and kisses my lips. We pull away and I had to force a smile, trying to hide my lie, knowing it's insignificant and shouldn't even matter. We stayed in a comfortable silence for a while and then started discussing school related stuff. She was talking about a paper that she has to do and she still hasn't even started it but then out of nowhere I realized she stopped speaking.

Almost right away after her pause, she jumped up, off the bed.

"No, no, no, no, noo" She repeated with a panic tone and I got off the bed and stood beside her.

"Mitch, what's wrong?" I ask worriedly and then I see her hand patting and rubbing her bare neck. Wait…

"Oh god, please no. This can't be happening!" She exclaimed and I saw her eyes start to water up. Shit.

She started running all around the room, lifting the covers off our beds, checking the dirty laundry basket, getting on her knees to look underneath the beds. I start helping her, trying my hardest to find her necklace because I wouldn't know what to do. After a couple of minutes of messing up the whole room, Mitchie kicks her bed angrily and covers her eyes with her palms, breaking down crying.

"Mitch, we're going to find it, don't worry. It's got to be here somewhere." I whisper to her, as I bring her to a hug and her sobs get louder.

"It's g-gone! That was my only memory of S-Shane! Lex, I n-need it and now it's gone…" She cries out and I hug her tighter, rubbing her back.

"It's going to be ok Mitch. I'm gonna find it, alright. Please calm down." I whispered to her, hurting inside as I feel her tears fall on my shoulder and her breathing getting heavier. I close my eyes, secretly praying that it'll show up somewhere.

Finally after Mitchie expressed as much emotion that she contained, she fell asleep on my bed. I take the opportunity to scope out the place again and try to look very carefully. I was searching the bathroom up until I heard my phone buzz, interrupting my quest. I walked to the nightstand and disconnected my phone from its charger. The screen read '1 New Message' and I clicked open. I smiled when I read who it was from.

_Hey Alex, how have you been? I've missed you :)_

It read and I started feeling bittersweet at the message.

_Um ok I guess and ugh I've missed you too like crazy /:_

I responded, laying down on the edge of the bed with my phone in my hands, waiting for a reply.

* * *

_**What's going on with Alex?(; Leave your predictionss**_

_**Please don't forget to review!(:**_

_**Next chapter will be where things get slightly interesting. Answering everything that was left unknown in this chapter(; **_

* * *

_**Time for my irrelevant moment Lmao...**_

_**You know what's even better than Demi going back to acting and starring on Glee? Demi playing a gay character... Ahhh xD **_

_**Even though we all would prefer her being the love interest of Selena, Naya Rivera (Santana) will have to suffice. Rawrr. Haha I'm weird, I know. **_


	21. Evasive Interactions

**_A/N: This chapter didn't necessarily come out the way I wanted it to, to me it came out pretty 'ehh' so in advance, my apologies. _**

**_Regarding what I said in this chapter about something being illegal, I honestly have no idea if that's true or not, but it's fan fiction for a reason, right? Lmao _**

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot._**

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**_It seems pretty clear that all you guys are in the same thinking zone, now let's see if you were right or wrong(;_**

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_Alex's POV_

I spent the whole week trying to find Mitchie's necklace but came upon nothing but dust. For the first couple of days, she was acting completely different. As if she was slowly slipping back to her depressive state she was once in when I met her. Thankfully after the third day of her oppression, she gradually tried her hardest to move on. I was glad to see her keep her head held high, the old Mitchie would have never done that. Even though she's better, hiding away her emotions, I know deep inside she's hurting.

I was aware of how much her necklace meant to her and to have it disappear the next day, is just horrible. It was a huge fragment of her, and she lost a missing part of her heart. It saddens me to realize she's not fully repaired, and will probably never be without that last component. Like she stated, it was her only memory of Shane.

In a way, I wish I was able to meet this person. To meet the guy who helped and cared for Mitchie throughout the beginning of her life. Who took her under his wing and showed her true friendship and love. The way Mitch would talk about him, when she's not crying, is always in complete admiration. From what I've heard, he seemed like one of the nicest person in this world. A male who detaches from the stereotypical guy image of being a bad ass and or jerk but instead a complete sweetheart.

I'm not going to lie, every time Mitch decides to talk about Shane in that way, in the beginning I use to infer that at least one of them had a thing for each other. Obviously that's not the case anymore, you can instantly tell that they had a genuine bond that would have never been broken. It's the same bond she has with her sister Dallas. She'd do anything for them and no matter what happened, in the end of the day, they were still her family.

I have much respect for him, and the only thing I'd want to do if he was right in front of me, is to thank him. Thank him for practically saving Mitchie's life and making her feel worth it when she never thought of herself as anything but less.

I start tapping the end of my pen on the desk in a rhythmic beat, looking down at my homework. Wait, it's a Saturday, why the hell am I doing my homework right now? I groan and shut my textbook, twirling myself in the spinning chair. I catch Mitchie laughing at my childish behavior, I blow her a kiss and continue to spin myself.

"You're going to get dizzy" She tells me as I stare in the ceiling, watching it go in circles. I stop my movement and stand up just to meet the ground.

"Too late" I said as I rub my eyes, holding myself up. I feel a pair of arms help me off the ground and I smiled.

"I told you so" She whispered as I held onto her, waiting for the dizziness to exit my head. Eventually it went away and I let go of her. She gave me a kiss on my lips and sat back down on her bed.

After getting myself together, I walked around the room. Mitch continues to look at me with a confused expression, I stop and tell her that I'm bored and she nods, turning back to her book. How can she read so much? I will never understand that. I was reaching the radio to turn it on until my phone buzzed. I saw Mitch leaning to get it off the desk to hand it to me but as an instinct I quickly jumped towards it. Grabbing it before she had the chance to look at the screen. She gives me a weird look and I smiled, shrugging. Phew, that was a close call.

_Oh wow, same old Alex. But I'm gonna call you later on, alright? I need to talk to you about something. _

I was typing a reply when Mitchie's voice seized me.

"Anyone important?" She asks me and I send a quick response agreeing to the request. I turn off my phone and look up at Mitch.

"Just my mom checking in" I told her and she nodded. _Lie number two. _

I'm Alex Russo, guiltiness shouldn't be eating me alive. Ugh who am I kidding? When it comes to Mitchie of course it will. Eh, maybe I can make it up to her.

I start putting on my shoes and went in front of the small mirror. Putting my hair up in a messy bun. I walk towards Mitchie and pull on her. She whines as she resists, continuing to read her book. I roll my eyes and get on top of her, straddling her on her bed.

"Um…?" She lets out confused, finally putting the book on the side.

"Are you trying to seduce me?" She continues with a smirk and I laugh, leaning in attaching my lips on hers. I deepen the kiss as I grab her face with both hands. Her hands are on my knees, debating on whether or not she should move them further. Knowing how Mitchie is, I intertwined our fingers and my other hand made it towards her waist. A voice inside my head kept yelling at me. This wasn't supposed to go this way and it's not going any farther. Reluctantly I detached our lips and got off of her, still not letting go of her hand as I pull her off the bed.

"W-what was t-that?" She asks nervously still not fully back on earth. I kissed her again, trying to ease her nerves.

"C'mon, we're going to the mall" I told her, handing her, her shoes.

"You did all of that just to tell me we're going to the mall?" She says bewildered, while putting on her shoes and I nodded.

"You weren't listening to me before so I thought of a way of getting your attention" I honestly said and she gave me a glare.

"That's cruel" She mutters and I wink at her, dragging her out of the room.

We arrived at the mall and the first thing I did was hold onto her hand. She gave me a cautious look, letting it go and looking all around us.

"What are you doing?" She whispers and I let out a small laugh.

"Relax, no one here knows us and friends can hold hands" I wink at her and she bites her bottom lip, at last she smiles and grabs back my hand.

We continue to walk around, and enter various different stores. Every time she'd say she liked something, I immediately went up and bought it for her. At the moment she didn't know until I walked out of the store with a shopping bag. She kept feeling bad that I was wasting my money but I didn't care. I continued to buy her anything she wanted, whether she allowed me or not. I was ecstatic that my parents gave me a credit card for my birthday, but I know I'd get an earful once they receive the bill. Oh well, Mitchie's worth it.

I didn't allow Mitch to carry any bags, even though most of them were her stuff. We went back to the dorm and I set everything of hers on her bed. I thought buying her stuff and making her happy would lessen my guiltiness but I guess not. That plan didn't work.

I hear my phone ringing in my purse. Ugh speaking of guilt. I take it out and see an un-named number popping up. I sit on my bed and pick it up. Not even caring that Mitch is on the other side of the room, mostly because it's not like she'd be able to hear our full conversation.

"Hello?" I say into the phone quietly.

"Hey Alex" He says softly and I smiled. I bit my tongue, not wanting to cry.

"How have you been?" He asks and I sigh.

"Good. But it's not the same without you." I tell him and I could hear him sigh into the phone.

"I know Lex. And I'm sorry. But you're going to be fine." I shut my eyes, stopping the tears from coming out, which at the time worked.

"So um what was it that you wanted to talk to me about?" I ask a little scared at what his response may be. The line goes quiet for a couple of seconds but he finally speaks up.

"It's time." He whispers sadly and I swallow. Knowing exactly what he means.

"I'm getting deployed to Afghanistan." He continues and a tear rolled down my cheek.

"For how long…?" I ask lowly into the phone and then I see Mitchie turn to me with curious eyes. She mouths 'who is it' and I shook my head.

"Eight months." He says and I close my eyes again. I didn't say anything and then I feel a weight shifted on the side next to me on my bed. I see Mitch wiping away the tear that slipped out. She seems confused out of her mind and I shake my head again, continuing to hold the phone against my ear.

"I'm leaving tomorrow" He continues on the other line and I remain quiet.

"I'm gonna miss you Justin. Please be careful." I tell my older brother.

"Always am sis. I love you" Justin whispers to me and I was about to say it back until a knock on the door brought me out of the conversation. Mitchie stands up to get it and I follow behind her. She opens the door and I drop the phone out of my hand. The tears explode from within and I couldn't stop them. I see Justin in his Air Force uniform and I immediately run to him, jumping into his open arms, sobbing like crazy. He holds me tight and I could feel a couple tears of his fall on my shoulder. He rubs my back, calming me down a bit.

Slowly, he sets me down on the ground giving me a sad smile.

"H-how'd you g-get in the b-building?" I ask him and he laughs.

"I'm a soldier Lex, I get special treatment. I told them I just wanted a quick visit" He says calmly compared to me. I hug him back whispering how much I've missed him.

It's been over two years since I've seen my big brother, and it's all my mom's fault. Justin was always a good kid but he made mistakes in his life. My mom never understood that. At a time of his life, Justin was hooked on drugs, I didn't know that, no one did, he would always be so secretive. Until my mom found out and it was the end of it. She immediately took him away from me, calling him a bad influence and shipping him off to military school. I hated her for that. He stayed there for half a year and my mom forced him to enlist in the Air Force after he stayed clean of drugs for a couple of months.

I hear someone clear their throat and saw Mitchie with an unreadable expression on her face. I wiped away my tears and walked towards her.

"Mitch, this is my big brother Justin. Justin this is my roommate Mitchie" I introduced them to each other as they shook their hands. Mitchie's mood right away fell into a surprised expression.

"It's nice to meet you" She finally says, still looking at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Likewise, Alex has told me a lot about you. It's nice to know my little sister finally found a girl best friend and stopped hanging around all those guys" Justin tells her and I playfully hit his shoulder. Mitchie smiles and sits down on her bed, giving Justin and I time to talk. I hug him again, and he laughs.

"Dang, when I was around you didn't even care to hug me" He joked and I gave him a glare.

"That's not fair" I said sternly with a sad expression and he shakes his head, bringing me into another hug.

"I know, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I know you care about me and I'm sorry for making you go through all that stuff." He says and I shake my head, knowing he was talking about one particular thing.

"None of it is your fault, you know that." I tell him and he gives me a forced smile.

"Does mom and dad already know you're leaving?" I ask him and he nods.

"Told them a couple of hours ago. They took it kind of bittersweet. I know dad feels bad, mom didn't show much emotion like always" He continues and I sigh. He grabs my hand.

"Enough about me, how are you doing? Really." He gives me a worried look.

"I'm doing good. Don't worry about me."

"Are you still taking your – " He starts off but I cover his mouth. I nod and he smiles.

"Good." Justin whispers.

_I unlock the door of my house and step inside. I make my way towards the kitchen looking for food until I start hearing screams from the second floor. I close the refrigerator door and run upstairs, following the loud noise. I see my mom screaming at Justin while he's obviously trying to control his anger as tears fall from his eyes._

_"You can't make me go!" He screams out to my mom and she throws a frame at him but he dodges it. _

_"Yes I can and you will! I will not have a drug addict living under my roof! You already enlisted so you're forced to go, or you'd go to jail for breaking the law!" She continues and I see my dad trying to hold her back. _

_"Mom?" I let out completely shocked and confused at what I'm witnessing. She looks at me and then back at my brother. _

_"Go to your room Alex!" She yells out to me and Justin steps in front of me._

_"Don't scream at her! Just get out of my room!" He says and right away I hear a door from downstairs slam open. In a matter of seconds, two cops rush inside and grab Justin's arm, placing them behind him. He starts struggling as they hold him down. My heart beat starts racing and I start crying at the scene. _

_"Let go of him!" I yell out in tears and he gives me a sad smile. My dad goes up to me, throwing me over his shoulder, exiting the room. _

_"C'mon Alex, you can't see this" My dad whispers to me and I start hitting his back. _

_"Justin! Dad p-please! Don't let him l-leave!" I screamed in between sobs and he sets me down in the hallway, still holding onto me so I couldn't go running to Justin. _

_I see the cops drag Justin out of the house, he mouths an 'I love you' before going down the stairs and I felt my heart pace incredibly fast. Breathing was becoming a difficulty and I started getting a tingly feeling on the tips of my fingers. The room was going dizzy and pain was rising in my chest._

_"Alex? Alex!" My dad calls out as my right hand makes it over my heart, gasping for air once my body fell onto the ground. _

_Mitch's POV_

I was trying my hardest not to hear their conversation but it was pretty difficult when you're only eight feet away from them. Throughout the whole day Alex has been acting a little weird. She was constantly checking her phone or texting someone. She always said it was her mom but not even my parents text me that much. Once we got back from the mall, she was talking on the phone with whom I was assuming was the person she kept on texting.

I was reading my book at the time, but I could hear bits and pieces of what she was saying into the line. I turned to face her for a millisecond and asked who she was talking to, genuinely curious but she didn't answer me and just shook her head. I ignored it until I heard her go quiet for a moment. I turned to her again, thinking she already hung up, but then I saw a tear fall from her eyes. I immediately go up to her and wipe it away, completely worried. I stayed there with her, waiting for the phone call to end. However the only part that popped more into my ear was how she was saying how much she's going to miss this Justin character.

Right after she said that, I heard knocking on the door and got up. I opened it up to see a guy, who seemed about three years older than me, in a military uniform. I was going to ask him who he was but then I see Alex's reaction, catching me completely off guard as she jumped into his arms, crying.

It's unusual to see Alex break down like that if she didn't get hurt or saw me crying. To see her in tears because of the presence of another being, surprises me. I was already confused out of my mind, not knowing who this guy was and how they know each other. I cleared my throat and Alex introduced me to the person in the room.

She said he was her older brother Justin, and I completely fell into shock. Brother? I didn't even know Alex had a brother, let alone someone who was serving our country. She never spoke about him, I always thought she was an only child, but I guess I was wrong. Why didn't Alex ever mention him before? Why was it such a big deal that she never wanted to talk about him? Obviously she genuinely loves him to be all sentimental when he entered the room. I just don't understand…

Alex eventually left the room to get us all something to drink, leaving me and Justin alone in the dorm. It was an awkward silence that surrounded us but I decided to break it.

"So how long have you been in the military?" I ask him and he looks up at me.

"Air Force, and a year and a couple of months" He responds nicely and I smile, nodding. There was silence once again and this time he spoke up.

"So um Mitchie, I just wanted to thank you" He starts off and I give him a puzzled look.

"For what?" I ask and he smiles.

"For taking care of my little sis. Ever since I left, she's been going through some hard times. Every time I talk to her she'll always mention you and she seems like she's been doing much better. So really thanks for looking out for her" He finishes off and I smile at him but still not really sure what he's talking about.

"Can you do me a favor though?" He asks timidly and I nod my head.

"Since I'm going to be gone for a couple of months and I won't be able to contact her as much as I normally do, can you please make sure she continues to take her pills" He says and my mind goes all over the place.

"Pills for what?" I ask him and he has a raised eyebrow.

"Her pills for her PTSD" He casually says and I stay quiet. What the hell? Alex has post-traumatic stress disorder?

"You didn't know?" He asks realizing I've yet to say anything. I shake my head, looking at the ground.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I just assumed, seeing how close you guys are that she'd have told you"

"Yeah I would have thought so too." I simply said, completely angry that she never told me this.

She eventually entered back into the room. She was only able to talk to Justin for about ten more minutes until he said he needed to go already. She was already sad and shed a few tears as she hugged him goodbye. Justin and I said our goodbyes as well and he walked out of the room. I wanted to talk to Alex about everything but I knew it wasn't the right time.

A few hours passed, we didn't say anything to each other yet. She seemed less distressed as she approached me.

"Mitch?" She calls out to me. I don't face her, I didn't want her to see my emotions. She sits next to me and calls my name again.

"Why didn't you tell me you had a brother?" I asked quietly and she sighed. She shrugged.

"I didn't think it mattered." She simply said and I let out a small huff.

"You have an older brother who's in the Air Force! Why wouldn't you bring that up to me?" I tell her and she shakes her head.

"I was ashamed. Ashamed to say he was forced into the Air Force because of my mom because she found him doing drugs. I was also ashamed that they both were the reason I have…" She doesn't finish her sentence but instead shuts her mouth.

"That you have PTSD?" I ask her and she looks up at me, surprised.

"Justin told me." I tell her and she swallows loudly. I could tell she saw the anger in my face so she spoke up.

"Yes I suffer from PTSD. I witnessed cops dragging Justin out of our house, just because it was illegal to not serve when you already enlisted. I take pills to try to control it. Because of my PTSD, I sometimes get panic attacks whenever I see a –"

"Cop." I finished her sentence with a slight disbelief of a whisper. She sighs and nods her head shamefully.

"Wait that's why you didn't want to go to the fair? Because you saw a cop say hi to us?" I ask unintentionally loudly. Putting all the pieces together of the mystery of who Alex Russo is.

"Yes. Because I knew there'd be cops in there. I can't see them Mitch. I freak out completely. I hate them. I always go back to that day I got my first panic attack when they hauled Justin out of my life. It's not my fault." She says and I shake my head, standing up, having a huge headache. She thinks I'm angry because of her having PTSD but that's not the case at all.

"Are you serious right now Alex? Why the hell didn't you ever tell me! Why did you lie to me that day at the fair? Here I am thinking you had a phobia of people in general but instead it's with cops." I semi yell to her and she gets up too, standing in front of me.

"I'm sorry but I felt embarrassed! I didn't want you to know the girl you're dating is a total freak with a dysfunctional family, who has to take pills every day to be normal!" She yells out to me but not out of anger but out of remorse for not advising me.

"Are you kidding me, you met me as a freak! You know I wouldn't judge you!" I scream out to her, enrage taking over me.

"You're not a freak. But I know that now, I'm sorry. Ok?" She says calmly, grabbing my hand.

"No, not ok. Alex I can't do this…" I whisper to her, hurt passing through my body as I say each individual word and she stays frozen.

"What?" She lets out with a crack in her voice causing me to feel even more wounded. My eyes start watering up as I witnessed hers do the same.

"Alex, I've told you every single thing about me. I trusted you with all my secrets. Yet I was so naïve to realize that all my problems burdened you, that I never knew anything about you. I honestly know nothing about you Lex… I didn't know you had a brother, I didn't know you took pills every day, I didn't know you suffer from PTSD and panic attacks. I didn't know anything except your name. Throughout this whole time, I was dating a complete stranger… " I told her with tears falling down my face.

"You know enough about me Mitch. Please don't do this. We've been together for about a month. You can't throw this away because I kept something hidden…" She says lowly, grabbing both my hands.

"Alex, we both know this is hurting me as much as it is for you. I just need time. I need time to realize who you really are. This isn't going to be forever, I promise you that. Just please, don't make this any harder than it already is." I whisper to her, wiping away a tear from her cheek.

"Mitchie I love you. Please, don't break up with me" She pleads and my heart cracks at her words.

"Alex you know I love you" I simply say and she closes her eyes, trying to stop the tears.

"You're just not in love with me." She reads my mind and I stay quiet. She lets go of my hands. I grab her face and kiss her one last time, taking in every single second of that sad yet perfect moment as our lips meet each other, tears falling one by one out of the corners of my eyes.

"I just need time. I'm not breaking up with you, it's not forever. And I'm not letting this get in the way of our friendship. I care about you Lex, a lot. And right now you need to worry about your health instead of mine." I whisper to her and she stays quiet. She looks up at me, caressing my cheek. She gives me a sad smile and nods slowly. She kisses my cheek slowly and softly then prompts to turn around.

"Ok. I'll give you as much time as you need. I'll always be here waiting for you, remember that. I'm going to take a walk for a while. You don't have to wait up." She tells me, walking out of the dorm, leaving me to stand alone.

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_**You hate me, I get it. Lmfao you may rant in my review box, I can already predict a lot of you guys will be yelling at me right now xD I'm sorry v.v**_

_**But other than that, everyone thought Alex was cheating :O How dare you guys think so negatively of her(; I've had the PTSD/Panic Attack idea since the very beginning of this story for personal reasons. I'm not sure how well it played out in this chapter, I think I could have done better /:**_

_**Anywaysss, please review!(: and please actually talk about how you're feeling about this chapter and the story overall instead of just being mad at me Lol I really need your opinions. **_

_**Clue: The breakup had to be done. Yes. But like Mitchie said, 'It's not forever' (; Please keep an open mind c(: **_

_**& I still haven't made up my mind if Max is going to exist in this story or not, most likely he won't. But just in case, bare with me **_


	22. Over Before It Began

**_A/N: Oh my god, I'm so sorry guys! I promised myself that I wasn't going to be those writers who take forever to make an update and I just completely broke it. It's been almost two weeks and once again I'm sooo sorry! /: Normally I'd give you guys some excuse but I know you guys just want to get straight to the chapter. _**

**_Anyways, hope you enjoy it(: Not much happens in this chapter so sorry about that. _**

**_Side Note: Thanks to all the people who read and reviewed my first one-shot 'Something To Live For', you guys are amazing!(: Oh and most definitely expect another one-shot really soon!(; _**

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot._**

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**_Suefanficlover - Aww thank you so much, as always you're amazing! (: And I promise it won't be too long(;_**

**_LovinThatLovato - I'm sorry/: But things will start to turn around very soon!(;_**

**_Nightingale11 - Well good thing she wasn't cheating huh c(; and Mhm! _**

**_Lisapizzalol - Haha yes it isn't forever, I can promise that(:_**

**_Yummy42 - Yes! And I'm so excited about it xDD _**

**_LikeAStorm - I totally agree on Demi being the only one to be able to fully break away. And Lmfaoo I understand your outrage but everything happens for a reason, right?(; Like I said in the beginning, Alex will be the most loved character but overall Mitchie is just trying to figure things out, give her time c(: Eventually everything will come into place hehe _**

**_DemiIsMyHero - Thank You!(: _**

**_Demenaforever13 - I couldn't be that horrible(; _**

**_VeehxD - Aw Thank you so much! (: I really appreciate it. _**

**_LovezObsessed - I completely understand where you're coming from. The breakup reason is more fully discussed in the beginning of this chapter(: _**

**_Blushyskittle3321 - Don't we all /: and Thank you(: _**

**_Guest (9-1-13) - Good thinking logic(; _**

**_Me - Thank you so much!(: _**

**_Lemoso - Lmfao! Haha congrats! I know that's definitely a relief, to have all that weight off your shoulder, especially towards your best friend(: _**

**_Tomatoes - Yes, yes it did. Lol c(:_**

**_Rayveyone brown - I promise just a few chapters! It won't be too long(;_**

**_Pretty Little Fiction321 - Lol Thank You so much! I love receiving your reviews(: and Hmm one of those will be happening in the future, but I'm not gonna say which, so really good guess!(; And partially of another one of your thoughts will happen in this chapter too, PARTIALLY though xD _**

**_Guest (9-8-13) - I didn't understand the first part of your review, I'm sorry. And a lot of people would agree with you, but just give it time(;_**

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**_To everyone who suffers from PTSD and or Panic Attacks, you guys are extremely strong and my heart goes out to all of you. I know it's a very difficult thing to go through but just keep your head held high and you'll make it though it. (: _**

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_"You can't stop the future, you can't rewind the past, the only way to learn the secret ...is to press play." _

_― Jay Asher_

Imagine being stuck in a nightmare, with no way out. Slowly, softly, the air is getting sucked out of you. In this nightmare, you're first instinct is to try to wake yourself up, get out of that hell hole. Problem is, there's no exit. What do you do? You try to hide from it, so you momentarily imagine another place and try to feel in peace again. However, peace is never forever. Eventually, your dream will start to fade and you're seeping back into the nightmare you kept trying to avoid.

Once being dragged back in, you face the consequences. Your fears are your entire life. You get nervous, scared, shaky, sometimes it even becomes impossible to breathe because your heart is jumping out of your chest. You experience an out of this body feeling, as if you're viewing yourself from the sidelines but not able to stop your hyperventilation. So not only are you going through that pain but now you're also going through the mental ache because you know you can't do anything about it.

That is the feeling of PTSD and Panic Attacks. That is the feeling Alex receives when she undergoes these situations.

Being forever stuck in a trauma that will keep coming back into your head without any notice. The flashbacks that scrolls through your eyes, not able to leave your thoughts. The only thing Alex can do is try to avoid the consequences, fully aware that even if it's away now, it'll be back tomorrow. That is the fear of the absent minded.

Ever since, I found out about Alex's… situation, I've been deeply invested in the background research of it. The challenges she has to go through every single day, amazes me but none the less also devastates me. I thought I had it rough, no, not anymore. Sure I'll have my breakdowns but at least I'm completely aware of when it will happen and I know eventually it'll stop. But not for Alex, she's permanently traumatized, she will remember a certain event that she wishes to forget, for the rest of her life. It's not only the printed memory but also the pain received afterwards that she goes through, the disability to not do a single thing because your body takes control of its own toll. You just have to stay there and pray it doesn't happen in public. That's what Alex informed me of.

About a week has passed since her secret has been uncovered, and we're in a complicated state. I guess you can say we're in that awkward post breakup stage. Although, not fully, at least that's what I think. Unhurriedly, we're trying to get over that bridge and go back to how our friendship was. It's taking a while, but at least we're trying to put the past behind us and try to move on, even if it's only as friends.

As much as Alex should be mad at me for causing the turmoil in our relationship, she looks past it. It surprises me to the max. If I were her, I'd be pissed as hell, but that's how Alex and I are different. I'm good at holding grudges, look at my parents for example, it's not a good thing but that's just how I am. As for Alex, she is the definition of sweet, she can never stay mad at someone for so long. Her mom was the reason why she had her first panic attack but she acts as if it never happened and still talks to her mom like everything's fine. The only person she's held a grudge on is Mason, that's it, which is totally understandable.

A lot of people will question why I really broke up with Alex, but it's not as simple of an answer as it seems. I genuinely have deep feelings for Alex, that's never going to change, and obviously she feels the same way, by how she expresses her love, it drives me crazy, in a good way. In no way is she the problem, I am, that's why. From the very beginning, our relationship started as a comfort and care type. I was in a really bad state and she was always there next to me, trying to help me out.

The problem was how messed up I was that I was never able to pay attention to her difficulties. She cared too much about me, invested most of her time treating me like I was on top of the world, the only one that mattered, that she completely ignored her own troubles. And I was so blindsided by all the attention I was getting from her that I didn't even think for a moment to really ask Alex about her life. That was my mistake.

Yes, I was upset to find out that I knew completely nothing about her life. I've vented to her numerous times, she knows the whole me, but I knew nothing of her. Why? Not because she didn't tell me but because I never cared enough to ask. I was too caught up with trying to upgrade my reputation that I became negligent, which is something I've never wanted to go through, especially with Alex. So because of my huge ego getting in the way, I never realized I was dating, figuratively, a stranger.

The break up, wasn't necessarily only for the secrets but because of her health. I knew if we weren't together anymore that maybe she'd take interest in her own well-being instead of mine. That's all I can really hope, to know that Alex is finally taking care of herself instead of putting other people first.

The song coming from my headphones starts to dial down, ready to come to an end and play the next one. As it comes to that short halt I hear an odd noise. I take out my headphones to see if it was the music or something else. I didn't hear anything, but once I lifted my headphones again, I heard the small unidentified sound. I pause my music and turn to my right and witnessed Alex tossing and turning, letting out small mutters underneath her breath.

I didn't think much of it at first, but it continued and I started to get worried. I get out of my bed, walking towards Alex's side of the room and kneeling down next to her. She jumps once more with a little kick this time, turning her head to her left, facing me, eyes still closed. I move the strands of hair out of her face delicately and start to shake her a bit.

"Alex…" I whispered to her but she continued to move her head in different directions. I start shaking her harder.

"Lex" I say louder and her eyes startle open, looking at me.

"You okay?" I ask her and she combs her hair back with her fingers, holding herself up by her left arm.

"Y-yeah, just a nightmare" She replies and I give her a small smile, nodding lightly.

"Well alright, try to get some sleep. If you um need anything, I'm five feet away from you" I respond and she returns the smile, nodding. I get off my knees and head back underneath my covers, internally sighing.

Other than missing Alex as an actual girlfriend, there's one action that I deeply yearn for. Which is her sleeping next to me on my bed like she used to. The warmth her body gave me, made me feel safe and peaceful. I was always happy to go to bed because I knew I'd wake up with her lying beside me. Now, I just feel lonely all over again, and I know it's mostly my fault, but what can you really do at the moment? Just wait and hope that you made the right decision.

_Alex's POV _

Remember when I thought Mitchie was going to break us off before we even had a chance to start, yeah it ended up happening either way. I consider a month into our relationship still short, it passed by too fast when all I wanted was it to go by slowly so I can savor each individual moment with her. I'll admit, it kind of hurts. Just to have that one genuine good thing in your life get snatched away from under you.

I'm not mad though, I can never be mad at Mitchie, no matter how much I try. I understand her intentions completely, so I can't blame her.

I'm a very high believer in happily ever afters, from being a child to now, I still believe in everything turning out for the best. Just because Mitchie and I are broken off right now, doesn't mean we're not going to get back together, I know we are. She promised it herself and I'll try my hardest for her not to let go of that wish. I mean every relationship has their ups and downs, but they'll make it through. I know we will. Because in no doubt in my mind, Mitchie and I are meant to be together. Whether or not the universe doesn't see it like that, in my heart and I know in her heart too, we both have that same belief.

We've came upon a lighter and all we have to do is flick it on.

Mitchie and I are both mature people because if we weren't, we would have let this get in the way of our friendship. Even though it's not exactly the same like how it used to be, it's only a matter of time once we really get comfortable with each other again. It's better to be in one another's life as just friends than to not be in it at all.

"Can I get a small sweet tea?" I ask the cashier lady, handing her the money who just nodded.

"I'm sorry, make that two small sweet teas" I quickly said before it was too late. She gives me my change and my two drinks and I turn around, walking away with Harper next to me.

"Why'd you get two?" Harper asks me as we continue to walk towards her dorm room.

"Oh um, the other one is for Mitchie" I answered her and she gave me a small smile, opening her door so I could enter inside.

"That's nice of you" She said and I shrugged, sitting down at Harper's desk once she situated herself on her bed.

"So how is she doing? I actually haven't seen her around lately" She asks. This past week, both Mitchie and I would be considered as being glum. From what I've noticed, Mitchie has kind of been on the down low. She's been trying to lessen all the attention she's been receiving and tried to get away from all the ruckus. I've been doing the same thing, I guess we're both just not in our right minds yet to actually go out in public.

"Eh I'm not sure, she's been going through some stuff lately" I simply said and Harper gave me a concern look. Mitchie and Harper have talked a couple of times, but Mitch really does like to keep everything to herself, so Harper is more of a friend to me than to Mitch.

"Aw, anything I can help with?" She offered and I shook my head, taking a sip of my sweet tea.

"Nah, probably not. A couple of weeks ago she lost her necklace that meant a lot to her but it's most likely long gone now." I respond sadly.

"Oh?" She says and I nod. Then she immediately stands up and goes to her drawer.

"Crap, I forgot—" She exclaims, searching all over her drawers until she pulls out a small object that I wasn't able to see.

"I was supposed to take this to the lost and found like two weeks ago but I forgot to go" She says finally opening up her fist and my eyes widened.

"Oh my god! That's her necklace, where did you find it?" I said in shock, as she handed me it.

"It is? Oh my god, I'm so sorry! I found it in the hallway around midnight and I knew the lost and found wasn't opened at that time so I held it, planning to take it the next day but it left my mind. If I would have known it was hers I would have gave it to her a long time ago. I just thought it was someone else who's name started with an S because of the initial engraved on it—" She rambled off nervously but I cut her off with a hug.

"You're a life saver Harper! Thank you thank you thank you! You're the best! I need to go tell Mitch right now, I'll see you later ok?" I said quickly, holding onto the necklace with a tight grip and grabbing the two drinks I bought, exiting her room. I rushed to the other side of the building to where my dorm was. I stopped right in front of it and took a deep breath, placing the necklace in my pocket, calming myself down, entering the room. I find Mitchie laying on her bed reading her book as always.

"Hey" I said softly and she looked up at me with a small smile, returning the greeting.

"Um I brought you a drink, you know in case you were thirsty or something—" I continued on nervously and she chuckled, closing her book and walking up to me, grabbing the drink out of my hand.

"Thanks" She whispered, taking a sip from the straw, still not taking her eyes off of me. Her gaze made me nervous so I looked down and she finally sat down on the edge of her bed.

"Yeah um I actually have something for you—" She looks up at me with a confused look.

"—Well um actually not really, I found it, or I mean Harper did and she gave it to me—" I babbled on idiotically but I stopped myself, mentally slapping myself and shaking my head. I dig into my pocket and pull out her necklace. I didn't hear anything so I looked at her and she was semi frozen. She finally reacted and her mouth opened, as she dropped her drink onto the floor, not caring about the spill at the moment, running up to me.

She grabbed it out of my hand and looked at it closely, not believing it was her necklace. Her eyes were watering up and she brought me into a hug. I visibly relaxed into her touch.

"H-how, w-when, w-what, Lex!" She said confusedly and I couldn't help but let out a small laugh.

"Harper found it" I simply said and she held the necklace against her chest. She smiled at me and I wiped a tear that fell from her eyes. I grabbed her necklace out of her hand and gestured her to turn around. She listened and lifted her hair, already knowing what I was going to do. I hooked the necklace on the part that wasn't broken off, making sure it was fully secured. She turned back around to face me and rubbed her thumb on the guitar pick design.

"Thank you so much Alex, you don't even know how much this means to me" She whispered to me, still looking down at her hanging memory.

"Technically you should be thanking Harper but I did promise that we were going to find it, didn't I?" I replied genuinely and she looked me in the eyes, giving me one of those perfect smiles that I love most about her. A couple of seconds passed of us looking at each other and unexpectedly I felt Mitchie's lips on mine. My eyes hastily shut at the contact, and my heart dropped at the sensation of feeling her lips all over again. But of course, once again, it was over before it began. It was a short quick kiss that she initiated and caught me one hundred percent off guard.

Once she pulled away, I opened my eyes to catch Mitchie staring at the ground. I wish I was able to kiss her this time, but judging by her reaction I knew she didn't expect that from her either. I licked my lips and swallowed deeply.

"Why'd you do that?" I asked in a whisper and she looked up at me.

"I don't know…" She started off fiddling with her necklace and biting her bottom lip. God the temptation of just grabbing her face was killing me.

"…I was caught up in the moment. I'm sorry." She finished off, looking back down, away from me.

"Don't be. It's ok." I whispered to her, tilting her head to face me.

"No it's not. I'm giving you mixed signals and I can tell I'm frustrating you. I'm sorry." She replied and I sighed, not saying anything. I moved my right hand that was under her chin, and grazed it down her left arm, grabbing her hand in mines. She looks at our combined hands and has a confused look on her face.

"Can I do something?" I asked her, still holding onto her hand.

"What?" She whispers, swallowing deeply.

"Let me kiss you. Just one last time, please…" I whispered to her and she closed her eyes momentarily.

"Alex…" She pleads and I shake my head, grabbing both hands this time.

"It's only fair... You kissed me, I should be able to do it too." I said in the same low volume tone. I took a small step closer to her, letting go of her left hand so I can caress her cheek. My eyes darted from her eyes to her lips as she did the same. She didn't respond to my comment nor did she take a step back, so I took it as a sign. Unhurriedly, I started to lean towards her giving her time to object if she wanted, but I heard nothing coming from her mouth.

My eyes closed and my lips lands on hers. This was my breaking point, I never realized how much I missed kissing her until now. I wanted to stay like this as long as I possibly could. My hands dropped to her waist and her hands cuffed my cheeks. She was enjoying this just as much as I was. I knew we both didn't want to pull away, so we didn't. Our lips remained pressed against each other, doing nothing else but that. I couldn't take it anymore, if this was going to be my last kiss with her for a while, I'm going to make the best out of it.

I tightened my grip on her waist and started walking frontwards. She continued to stay quiet and took the steps backwards, following my lead. Her back hit the wall, and I held her in place. My left hand holding myself off the wall and my right still on her hip. Surprisingly enough, I felt her mouth open slightly, she started to beg for entrance. I immediately granted her it and this time our tongues came in contact. We both let out a small moan once we tasted each other's mouth. In only a matter of seconds, fiercely our tongues continued to rub against each other.

"Lex…" Mitchie whispered in between our make out session. I didn't respond but continued to try to ignore the outside world.

"Lex, please…" Mitchie pleaded and I knew I had to stop. Reluctantly, I disconnected our lips, but still held her against the wall.

"I'm sorry" I whispered to her with my eyes closed. I felt her brush a strand of hair behind my ear and I opened my eyes to see her with a sad expression.

"I'm sorry too" She whispered back and gave me a small slow peck on my lips, before she escaped my grasp and walked away, exiting our room.

I didn't move, I stayed in place, with my left arm still leaning on the wall in front of me. I closed my eyes harshly, feeling the tears rising from underneath. I lay my head against the wall and with my right fist, punched the wall, not enough to create a hole, but enough for me to feel the pain in my knuckles. I turned around and slid down the wall on my back. My hands covering my eyes as my tears finally exploded from inside me.

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_**Once again, not much but it was necessary. **_

_**Please review!(: Even though I know a couple of you will tell me how much you dislike Mitchie right now(; but once again have faith! xD**_

_**Clue: The most anticipated chapter, well at least for me, will be chapter 24/25. Trust me, it'll be extremely interesting with a lot of mixed emotions(;**_

_**But the next chapter will also have a crucial part to the plot that you guys won't know about till the near end of the story. Confused yet? c(; **_

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_**[If you have a life then proceed to exit this story, but if you're like me, who has completely nothing to do, continue to read on xD *You've been warned* **__**Potential Waste of Time Right Ahead!] **_

_**Ok so I have like 20 episodes left to finally catch up on Glee and I'm like flipping out, I'm so excited to see Demi playing a gay character. And it is confirmed that she (Dani) will share an on screen kiss with Naya Rivera (Santana) Omggg! 0.0 **_

_**[For the record, I am not a huge Glee fan, I started catching up on ALL the episodes from the very beginning just one month ago because I found out Demi will be starring in it. Haha #Lovatic ] **_

_**Anyways, anyone in the US watch the X Factor this past week? Demi looked gorgeousss! ^.^ **_

_**Oh Shxt, I almost forgot... Demi Lovato is releasing a book! Omfggg! Staying Strong is getting released on November 19, Ahhh xD Guys pre-order it now! Seriously Lmfao and She's also writing her own memoir very soon, god I can't wait for that one too. Haha**_

_**[Yes, definitely expect a bottom's A/N of me completely fangirling from now on. xD Cause, you know, I have no life...] **_


	23. Clueless & Just Friends

**_A/N: This chapter will be sort of confusing to some people, especially on Alex's one-eighty but eventually you guys will understand why she's doing what she's doing. _**

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot._**

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_"When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny." _

_― Paulo Coelho_

I don't know what I'm doing. I shouldn't have walked out on Alex that day.

It took a great amount of strength to kiss her one last time and exit the room. To witness her internally fracture made me realize how much of an awful person I am… to her. I couldn't even stay in the room because I was too scared to see her reaction, too worried of how I'd feel to see her break down. All because of me, all because I'm the one breaking her heart.

I'm the asshole and she's just the unlucky victim.

You'd ask me, if I'm feeling so bad why not just cheer her up and get back together with her? Truthfully, I wouldn't know how to answer that. I have no idea as to why I'm being this way. Why can't I just take her back and hope she does so too? I don't fucking know. Maybe it's fear? Fear of repeatedly shattering her into pieces until she ends up all over the floor? Maybe it's stupidity? I have no intelligence on this matter, so what will I do? I'm so clueless. Maybe I'm just heartless? What if I wasn't the person I always thought I was? What if I was just a complete heartless jackass who'd do anything to get attention? Or maybe it's just worries? Worried that Alex will soon figure out, I wasn't who she really wanted to be with…

I'm selfish, I've come to that realization. If I wasn't, I wouldn't be playing the safe side of not being with Alex. I wouldn't be scared to have my heart broken instead of the other way around.

However, I have enormous respect for Alex. After all the drama that's been happening, I would have expected her to completely be done with me, once again, she always proves me wrong. I don't know what's been going on with Alex, but it's like she did a complete one-eighty. Not in a bad way but in a confusing way. Instead of ignoring me like I'd thought she would do, she's been almost acting like my best friend again. As much as I've been wanting this for a while after our breakup, it's still kind of odd. I honestly still cannot understand what goes inside her head, clueless is printed across my forehead.

I start moving my head softly to the low bass in the background, behind the words being sung and coming from my headphones. I have my eyes closed as I try to process each individual word in that sultry feminine tone from the lead singer. I was lost in the music, almost in a different world, laying down on my bed. During my peaceful escape my face gets slapped with what felt like some sort of paper material. I open my eyes as my earphones get yanked out of my ears and my eyebrows furrow as I quickly sit up.

"Uh? Yes?" I let out irritated that I got disturbed. Alex grins at me and waves an envelope in front of my face.

"I was calling your name for over an hour, anyways you have mail" Alex exaggerates but ends it with a cheerful tone. I roll my eyes and smile at her, taking the envelope out of her hand. I carefully rip it open to find a pack of twenty dollar bills followed by a letter.

"Hell yeah, now we're going shopping" Alex exclaims and I roll my eyes playfully at her. I open up the letter and skim through it quickly before I waste my time to read it. I go down to the bottom of the letter to find it signed 'Love, Mom & Dad'. I groan and crumble the paper, throwing it towards the trash can but missing it by an inch causing it to land beside the bin. I count the money to find a couple hundreds all together. I place it inside my wallet, and lay back down on my bed.

In only a matter of seconds, Alex jumps on my bed, situating herself next to me.

"May I help you?" I ask in a sweet voice and Alex plasters her fake thinking expression making me let out a giggle.

"Nah, I don't think you can. I just wanted to sit next to a pretty girl, that's all" She simply says, leaning against the wall with her back, and her knees in front of her body. I hide my blush and I can feel her smirk forming underneath. I get off my bed and face her, tilting my head to the side.

"Ah, well you must have been mistaken. 'Cause the only pretty girl I see is sitting on my bed right now." I responded with a smirk, deciding to play along. She gets on her knees and crawls to the edge, slightly looking up to see my face as I was standing right in front of her. She grabs a piece of my hair and starts to twirl it around her index finger. I swallow at the contact and started getting nervous.

"I'm never wrong. The girl I'm looking at right now is completely drop dead gorgeous, a piece of art I'd never get tired of seeing because she's just so beautiful." Alex whispers to me staring directly at my eyes, moving my bangs out of my face. I stayed quiet, not bothering to hide the pink coloring rising on my cheeks. We stayed like that for a while until a short alert came from my phone making me jump backwards from our extremely close distance. I cleared my throat and turned around to grab my phone off the desk, from the corner of my eye I saw Alex slump backwards with a small sigh.

_Hey sis, have you gotten the money mom and dad sent out yet? _

I text Dallas a quick reply and face Alex again. I notice her laying on her stomach with my book opened in front of her.

"The only books I'd ever be interested in is if there's any zombies, blood, and magic" Alex casually says after noticing my confused expression.

"I don't understand why you like to read so much, it's so boring" She lets out, shutting my book and facing me. I give her a slight smile and just shrug. Sitting down on my bed next to her.

"I don't know, along with music I guess it's just my temporary escape from reality." I simply respond and she gives me an unreadable expression, shaking her head briefly, disagreeing with my answer.

"For me, there's no reason to escape my reality. Because if I was only trapped inside my fantasies, I would never be able to admire your real existence anymore. I don't think I'd be able to live like that, not being able to see you, that is. Maybe that's why I don't like to read…" She whispers to me and I fell into complete awe at her choice of words. I wouldn't have expected that to come out of Alex's mouth. The way she made herself out to be, was not the type to say something as deep and meaningful like she just did. Me blushing would be an understatement, I saw a completely different person but still the same soul behind those words. My heart seriously dropped down to my stomach and butterflies soared all around inside. It was the same experience I felt when we first kissed, or should I say when she first kissed me.

"Mitch?" I hear Alex call out and I blink repeatedly exiting my train of thoughts.

"I'm sorry, that was just um surprising." I say and she smiles.

"Yeah well it's the truth." She responds and I blush again. This time, she gets off my bed and starts walking to my drawers. She opens them up and starts browsing through my clothes.

"Um what are you looking for?" I ask her with a bewildered look. No response. She takes out a specific choice of clothes and smiles at it. Then pulls me up by my wrist, handing me my own clothes.

"Change into this" She simply says and then walks to her own drawers and picks out her new outfit.

"What for?" I asked and she shook her head.

"Just put it on, please?" She pleads with a puppy dog face. I sigh but relentlessly did as I was told. I see her quickly take off her current clothes, leaving her with her back facing me and in some matching purple underwear. I gulped and faced the other side, not wanting her to catch me staring at her. I changed into the new clothes Alex picked out and turned back around to see her smiling at me, fully dressed now.

"Ok what now?" I question and she grabs her wallet and phone.

"Now I will escort you to dinner, miss Torres" Alex replies with a sophisticated accent, bowing her head with her right hand out to me. I giggled at her dorkiness but none the less grabbed her hand and followed behind her.

We were walking out of the building hand in hand, mentally I was praying that my palms didn't get sweaty.

"So are you going to tell me why we're going out for dinner?" I ask still confused at this whole thing.

"Well you know most people go out for dinner because they're hungry…" She teases and I shove her shoulder playfully.

"You know what I mean" I say and she giggles.

"I'll tell you once we get there. Don't worry, it's just two friends having dinner together, no biggy. I promise" She replies honestly and I felt a little sad. I mean I shouldn't be upset that this isn't considered a date cause I kept making it clear to her that I only wanted to be friends for now, but that still didn't make it any less saddening. Internally I shake my thoughts away and smile back at Alex, nodding my head at her comment.

We ended up at some new restaurant that just opened up near the mall, the name was unclear to me but it seemed like a nice area especially since it was semi packed. Alex pulls out my chair for me and I raise one of my eyebrows to her as I sit down.

"Just a friend helping out another friend" She says with a small laugh and I playfully rolled my eyes at her continuous 'just friends' comments.

"If you say so. So are you going to tell me why we came out here?" I ask her after we ordered our drinks. She takes a deep breath and looks up at me with a sparkle in her eyes.

"I've realized something, something I should have realized a long time ago." She responds and I tilt my head in puzzlement.

"For these past weeks I've been trying everything to get you back but I've never thought back to the day you broke up with me." She says and I face down shamefully. She grabs my hand from across the table making me look back up.

"You gave me a reason as to why you were breaking up with me, and until now, I've realized you were right and I was clueless…" She starts to rub her thumb across the back of my hand.

"So Mitchie Torres, I'm Alex Russo and I'm going to tell you every detail about my life. That's if you still want to know…" She finishes off and I couldn't help but grin widely. I take my other hand from my lap and place it over her hand that's on top of my right. Grabbing her left hand with both of mines. Momentarily she looks down at our hands but then faces me again with another smile.

"I'll take that as a yes." She jokes and I giggle still staying quiet, my excitement exploding from inside me, and my emotions flying all over.

"Ok, so what do you want to know first?" She asks me and I shake my head.

"Anything. I want to know the person I've come to appreciate so deeply. I want to know what's hiding beneath this amazing girl." I respond truthfully and she blushes.

"With pleasure." She whispers to me caressing the back of my hand.

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In only this hour alone, I've learned so much about the character of who Alex Russo is. The character in which I'm ready to give my all too. The character who left me completely speechless and breath taken by her persona.

I've learned about her parents. Jerry and Theresa Russo, who have been married for as long as Alex has been alive. They're marriage are kind of on the edge with the constant arguments. She's much closer with her dad than her mom, she feels more appreciated by him, she's daddy's little girl. She has only one sibling which is of course Justin. They've always had a love and hate type of relationship in the past, he was always her role model, still is. Ever since the whole incident of the drugs and the Air Force, Alex has been missing him like crazy, she wouldn't know what to do without him in her life.

She has only ever had one other relationship which was Mason, other than that she's never been the dating type. She's always the type to hang out with the guys because they're less drama. Her favorite color is green. She's a smart girl when she wants to be but is just very lazy. She got sent to this school after her brother got sent to military school. She went through a whole outrage after his departure that her mom didn't know what to do with her anymore so she dropped her off here.

Overall, under her tough girl reputation, Alex has always been the caring, heartwarming, sweet girl underneath.

"So is that enough background story? Oh wait I'm also part Mexican and Italian." She adds and I laugh, nodding my head.

"Yeah I think I know enough now" I replied happily and she smiled.

"Good. Shall we go back to the campus already?" She asks and I nod. She pulls out my chair for me and sets the money for the bill with the tip on the table. I shook my head but decided not to argue over this with her and just walked next to her, towards the front entrance of the restaurant.

"So did you like the food?" Alex asks me and I nod my head, looking at her.

"Yeah, I really did. Thanks, you know for everything." I tell her and before she had a chance to reply, she catches my fall as I tripped over someone tying their shoes. The person immediately stands up and faces me. It was a tall, tan guy with a tone body, an attractive appearance for sure.

"I'm so sorry—" We both said at the same time.

"Mitchie?" The guy says and my eyes widen at the voice.

"Michael?" I let out shocked and he nods.

_I walk into the Gray's house, shutting the door behind me. I enter the kitchen to find Shane's mom cooking. _

_"Michelle, Hi" She calls out with a smile._

_"Hey Mrs. G, sorry to just walk in, the door was already open" I tell her and she shakes her head. _

_"Nonsense, you're always welcome in here" She replies and I smile. I start to look around awkwardly and I hear her giggle._

_"He's down in the basement" Shane's mom informs me as if reading my mind. I laugh and nod, exiting the kitchen and making my way downstairs. _

_"That's bullshit! I should have won that!" I hear Shane exclaim and I roll my eyes at him being a sore loser. I walk to where he is to see him on the couch playing video games with someone else. _

_"Mitchieee!" Shane exclaims happily, pausing the game to give me a hug. The guy from the couch looks up and stands up too. _

_"Hey kid" Michael teases and I roll my eyes, sticking out my tongue at him. _

_"I'm only one year younger than you, for your information" I tell him sassily and he shrugs. _

_"You're still a kid to me" He walks up to me and with his right hand, messes up my hair. I groan and call out Shane._

_"Shaneeee! He's annoying me!" I whine and they both laugh. Michael then throws me over his shoulder and I start hitting his back. He puts me down on the couch next to Shane. _

_"You're so ugh!" I tell him semi jokingly and he laughs. Then him and Shane fist bump each other. _

_"Nice one dude" Shane tells him and I give him a glare. _

_"Kidding! You know we love you Mitch" Shane says bringing me into another hug. _

_"Yeah Michellee, even though you're a jit" Michael says with a wink and I give him another death glare. _

"Oh my god, it's been a while! How have you been?" He asks me bringing me into a hug.

"I know right, and I've been good how about you?" I ask him and he responds the same as I did.

"The last time I saw you was at the um funeral. It's nice to see again Michelle." He continues and I roll my eyes.

"Still calling me Michelle huh? Will you ever learn?" I tell him and he laughs, then in a swift motion, messes up my hair like old times. I groan loudly as all my hair covered my face.

"Just like old times" He says and I stick out my tongue at him.

"So what are you doing down here anyways?" I ask him as I start to fix my hair.

"I could ask you the same thing. I'm just down here visiting an old friend. What about you?" He says while pointing out his friend who's outside of the restaurant.

"Um I'm attending the boarding school that's a couple minutes away from here" I tell him.

"I see, well I should get going. Did you change your number because I tried contacting you a while back but I got some other guy on the line." He says and I laugh nodding my head. I grab his phone out of his hand and typed in my new number. We said our goodbyes and went our separate ways. It wasn't until he exited the restaurant that I noticed Alex wasn't behind me anymore. I look around and then went outside to see her leaning against a post, checking her phone.

"Hey why'd you leave?" I ask her and she looks up to me.

"Just wanted to give you some privacy." She simply says with a smile. I grab her hand and started walking with her, away from the restaurant.

"So who was that guy?" She asked curiously.

"Remember how I told you I was always a loner and that Shane was my only best friend?" I ask her and she nods.

"Well even though Shane was my only best friend, I actually had one other friend. Michael. I met him through Shane. It wasn't until a year of me being friends with Shane passed by that Michael came into the picture. Michael was more of Shane's friend, like his guy best friend, but he was always there for me whenever I needed him." I tell her, smiling at the memory.

"When was the last time you spoke to him or saw him?" She asks and my face saddens a little.

"At Shane's funeral." I simply said and Alex wrapped an arm around my shoulders to comfort me.

"Looking back at it, other than the Gray's, no one was as devastated as I was except for him. We both shared a special bond with Shane, so when he died, it hit us extremely hard. After I started falling into my bad habits, I stopped talking to him. I couldn't face him without always being reminded of Shane. He's a really good friend, but we had to go our separate ways to deal with Shane's passing on our own." I continue and Alex gives me a sad smile.

We walk back to the campus, into our room. We both started to change out of our clothes and into our sleeping wear until I hear Alex call out my name. I turned around to face her.

"I forgot to tell you, you looked beautiful today." She simply says and turns around, facing away from me.

I momentarily stayed in place for a while, but then called out her name causing her to turn back around.

"Thank you, again. It was a really nice date" I tell her and she blushes. I walk up to her and give her a peck on the cheek.

"Good night Alex." I continue as I start to lift the covers off my bed, laying down underneath them.

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_**No, Alex is not up to anything fishy, she's genuinely acting this way towards Mitchie. (Just to clear up any confusion)**_

_**Please Review(: Even though not much happened. **_

_**Yes, Michael is a very important person in this plot. Whether or not there will be a lot of mentions of him, he will still play a big part near the ending of this story. (Where Shane's suicidal motive is discovered) **_

_**As for the future, chapters 24/25 will be my favorite chapters to write because they will be sort of difficult to try to express. However that is where things will be taking a completely different direction(; **_

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_**Anyways, so I'm really excited to say that I will be starting a new Mitchie and Alex story very soon. If any of you guys know me from my first fanfiction story, then you already know that I tend to post the new story while doing the old one, just to give me something to do after the old story(This one) is finished. However, this story won't be finishing any time soon yet, I am predicting that there will be about 35 chapters (Yikes) but soon I will be putting up the first chapter of my next new story. So keep an eye out for it! (:**_

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_**Vivi199898- She is rumored to first appear in the second episode of season five of Glee. So October 3rd 2013 (Most Likely) (:**_


	24. Being A Fighter: Part I

**_A/N: Pretty long chapter. It is divided into two parts because the event that's about to take place is too big for just one chapter(; _**

**_I ended up choosing The Fray because of the first mention in Ch.10 of this story so I thought it would just fit. Hope you guys like it(: Much mixed emotions in this chapter._**

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.**_

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_**DemiIsMyHero - Thank you(: And same here! One of my favorite books so far**_

_**Krissy - Haha well thank you for the dedication xD and Cheers to us no lives! Lmfao **_

_**blushyskittle3321 - I completely understand but I hope this chapter somewhat makes up for it(; **_

_**LikeAStorm - I totally understand you on the whole Mitchie part, in this chapter you'll be able to see how much she's mad at herself for being that way towards Alex. And as for Alex's one-eighty, it's briefly explained in this chapter as well(: Thank you so much for reviewing! **_

_**VeehxD - Thank you very much! And we all are(; **_

_**Demenaforever13 - Thank you(: **_

_**Thatwizardatcamp - Haha well that's nice to know, doesn't make me feel like a loner anymore xD Lmao**_

_**Suefanficlover - Thank you so much Sue!(: and yes they are getting really comfortable with each other, especially in this chapter(; **_

_**LovinThatLovato - I totally agree, but let's just see what happens in this chapter(;**_

_**LovezObsessed - Thank you very much!(: and I completely comprehend your opinion on the whole Mitchie and Alex thing, they just need to figure things out. **_

_**Trainwreck2212 - Lmfaoo omg I love you! You're reviews are too funny xD Thank you so much for your mixed emotions Haha **_

_**Lova-tic-stay-strong - Thank you!(:**_

_**Yummy42 - Unfortunately, Shane's suicidal motive will be discovered in much later chapters, towards the ending of the story. /: And I know! We all wish Demi would stay on Glee for much more episodes. c(: and High five to no lives! xD **_

_**Vivi199898 - The previews show Demi appearing for the upcoming episode(: so excited! **_

_**Pretty little Fiction321 - Lmao no, I'll tell you that(; It is one other predictions of yours but will be happening in like a couple of chapters later c(: **_

_**For all the Michael connections and Shane's suicide theory, I will not be commenting on those. So I won't be denying or approving your predictions until it is time to actually reveal the motive.(: **_

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Being A Fighter: Part I 

_"Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it." _

_― Elizabeth Gilbert_

Perseverance is an admiral quality.

At times it can be considered as very annoying but then you gain a newfound reverence for this determined person. How they'll do anything to attain their goal, no matter how difficult it'll be.

To be such a strong-minded individual, it's essential to have a vast amount of patience. Maybe, that's why I'm not considered persistent when dealing with a long process situation. I can only a handle a position that will take no longer than a couple of hours, like trying to convince someone to go out somewhere with you. But when it comes down to something that you know you have to invest unlimited time in, yeah I wouldn't be able to achieve it. Another attribute that differentiates Alex and I.

She has dedicated most of her time fighting for what she wants. Fighting to get our relationship back. Something I haven't been doing, and ashamed to apprehend.

She's been acting just like she was during our first week into our relationship. Actually no, I can't say that, because throughout the whole month of our relationship, she didn't change one bit. She stayed in that same awe-filled, generous, appreciative mood, overall in that perfect girlfriend atmosphere. You would think after a couple weeks, she would tone down a bit but nope, she appeared to be as if she was the happiest girl in the planet, twenty-four seven. Her attitude was always so contagious, it was one of the reasons why I enjoyed being with her. She'd be able to make my whole mood change just by one small breathless smile on her beautiful face, it was that incredible.

Anyways as I was saying, that's how she's been acting these past days of our 'just friends'-zoned companionship, well minus the kissing. Making sure to do anything to make me happy, without any complaints. There isn't a word except perfect to describe Alex Russo.

She's the ideal perfect girlfriend anyone is looking for, yet here she is and all I'm doing is kicking dust in her eyes.

Goodness what am I doing? Can someone explain that to me?

I don't know, I guess this whole situation just makes me think on how much Alex and I are really dissimilar.

...If I could, I would punch myself in the face right now. I'm so unfair that it's not even funny. I seriously have problems. Because I barely realized all I've been doing is finding numerous petite things that make Alex and I different. Why can't I pin point everything that makes us similar? Or at least not look at our diverse personalities as a bad thing and actually see it as a positive entity. Opposites attract right? Isn't that how things go nowadays? Alex and I are meant to be together but I'm losing my mind. I'm trying to figure out any way possible of an excuse as to why I shouldn't be with Alex, but there isn't any. Whether or not there is a reason out there, what matters is why am I trying to find one? Why can't I be content with everything that's happening all around me?

Ugh who am I kidding, I desperately want to be with Alex just as much as she wants to be with me. I'm just being fucking stubborn.

I jam the key inside the lock and twist open the small mailbox locker with my room number engraved onto the outside of it. I sigh as I see the empty space and close it back up. I was expecting a small package from Dallas but I guess she hasn't had the chance to send it over yet. I turn around and start walking back to my dorm. I open the door of the room and take a step inside.

I close the door behind me to see Alex putting on her shoes while seated down on the desk chair.

"Hey, where you heading?" I ask curiously and she looks up to me.

"Oh hey, and just going to go check our mailbox in the front office." She states while standing up, walking towards the chair. I call out to her causing her to look back up to me.

"I already checked it, nothing came" I advised her and I saw her expression slightly turn disappointingly.

"Oh ok. Well let me know if I get anything in the mail, I'm kind of expecting something to come soon" She says while sitting on the edge of her bed.

"Yeah? From your parents?" I question and she looks away momentarily.

"Uh, yeah something like that." She responds suspiciously but I decided not to question it since it wasn't my place to interrogate her about her private life.

I lay down on my bed and pull out my book assignment. Rereading the book to get a better grasp of the whole theme and plot of the story told. I was so concentrated on the words printed on the page that I barely felt the light hit of a paper ball at my face. My look stiffened in annoyance as I face Alex who's at the other corner of the room.

"What is up with you always smacking my face with paper?" I ask her with my eyebrows narrowed. She chuckles.

"What is up with you never being able to hear me calling your name? You really do escape reality when you're reading." She retorts and my expression lightens up as I mumble a small sorry.

"Anyways, Mitchieee!" She drags out while batting her eyebrows in a cute fashion. I plaster a confused expression as I shut my book.

"Ok what do you want? You only do that when you need something" I tell her and her mouth falls open.

"What? I do no such thing…" She tries to play her innocence but quickly diminishes it when I give her a sarcastic look.

"Ok Ok, can I copy your homework for Geometry?" She pleads nicely and I let out a small laugh. I roll my eyes and get off my bed, searching my book bag for my already completed homework. I hand it to her and her smile widens as she grabs the handout.

"Thank youu! You're the best" She exclaims while bringing me into a hug and kissing my cheek in appreciation. I stayed in a small shock, not expecting her to do that.

"Uh yeah sure whatever" I reply as I exit my flustered state, laying back down on my bed.

* * *

I rub my eyes softly, only glimpsing at my room because the light reflecting was too strong. In a blurry vision I saw Alex's figure holding an envelope in front of her as she's jumping up and down from what looked like excitement. I blink a couple more times but decided to fight against it and grabbed the pillow from underneath my head and slammed it over my eyes.

"Turn off the lights!" I mumble into the pillow. I hear Alex giggle lightly in the background.

"That's the sun. Rise and shine sleeping beauty" Alex exclaims loudly. I feel the pillow get tugged off my face and I groan at the loss of brightness-protection. I still didn't move and continued to keep my eyes shut, still wanting to carry on my blissful sleep.

A couple seconds later I feel Alex slamming my face with the pillow. I groan louder, attempting to show how exhausted and annoyed I was right now. For a moment, I thought she got the picture because I didn't hear or feel anything coming from her. Then right there, I felt an unusual weight shift onto my thighs, applying pressure onto my waist. I was about to open my eyes but then started feeling the hem of my shirt rising up in an extremely slow pace. My eyes flung open and I immediately sit up to catch Alex straddling me on my bed with the bottom of my shirt grasped by her hands.

"W-what the hell are y-you doing?!" I ask nervously and she gets off of me smiling.

"Trying to get you to wake up" She responds calmly with a small inaudible laugh.

"By seducing me?! Goodness gracious" I reply in a freaked out tone. Feeling my heart race by the second and my cheeks turning into that horrendous peach color. She shrugs and takes out the envelope from her back pocket, the one I saw her jumping up and down with.

"Was that what you were waiting for?" I ask her after calming myself down. She nods with a wide smile.

"Yess ma'am!" She says happily causing me to look at her weirdly.

"This is for you" She continues, handing me the envelope. I get off the bed and raise an eyebrow. Looking at the address stamped onto the front.

"But it says your name on it?" I ask confusedly and she playfully rolls her eyes.

"Well it's for both of us, mostly you though." She says and I carefully open the used to be sealed part.

"What for?" I question before actually finding out what's inside.

"It's to make up for not being with you on your birthday. Even though you completely ditched me to be with your sister that day but whatever I'll forgive you. So that is your late birthday present. Happy belated birthday Mitchie" She replies and I finally look inside the envelope. I take it out and fell into complete overjoy at the item held in my hands.

"Oh my god! How'd you afford these?" I shout in excitement as I stare at The Fray concert tickets.

"Generous donation from the Justin foundation" She replies with a sophisticated accent. I bring her into a tight embrace.

"Thank you thank you thank you! This is amazing! I can't believe you bought us tickets to see The Fray" I said, not letting go of her.

"It was no big deal, I thought it'd be something we could both enjoy together. Seeing how much we're in love with them and all" She responds and I let out a small laugh. I let go of her and look back down at the tickets.

"Thank you Alex. This is the best gift anyone's ever given me." I told her honestly and she smiled. I look at the dates and notice the concert is tonight.

"The concert's tonight?" I ask and she nods her head.

"Yess, so you better be ready before six" She winks at me as she walks out of the room, leaving me to stand like a completely crazed fan.

For a couple of hours I kept freaking out, thinking this was all a dream or something. I have grown an obsession with this band and when I found out a couple months ago that Alex loved them just as much made me ecstatic.

Alex already informed me of the whole plan for the night. We were going to take the bus downtown and get a quick bite and then head to the arena about an hour early, then afterwards we'd go home by public transportation again. I kept staring at the clock anxiously waiting for the hour to turn to the number six but sighing when I realize its two hours away.

I turn my head to my left when I hear the bathroom door creak open, viewing Alex as she steps out, into the room. She looks at me and smiles.

"So are you excited that it's only a couple hours away?" She asks me noticing my unstable jumpiness.

"Trust me you can't even see the level of excitement I'm in right now. Gosh I don't even know how I can ever repay you Alex" I reply and she walks up to me, sitting next to me on my bed.

"You're so cute" She mumbles with a small laughter as I feel her shift closer to me. I feel her wrap her arms from behind and I smiled at the soothing gesture.

"Whatever, I'm just so happy right now" I reply feeling her head resting on my shoulder. We stayed like that for a couples of seconds. It was a comfortable surrounding that overcame us. I didn't want her to let go, I wanted to be like that for who knows how long.

Then, I started feeling her index and middle finger gliding softly across my neck. Moving my hair that was dangled in front of me and setting it all to one side. I shivered lightly at the sudden chill that hit my bare neck. I felt Alex's hands land on my shoulders as she placed a small lingering kiss on the back of my neck. I closed my eyes at the sensation, resisting a small hum from escaping my lips. I gently lean forward, creating a somewhat small distance from us now.

"Alex…" I murmured as she tuck the remaining free hair behind my ear. I feel her thumb softly glide over my shoulder.

"Mitchie, I miss you. Just take me back please…" She whispers to me and I started feeling horrible inside all over again. Her hand started caressing my hair and I knew I would give in any second. Reluctantly, I got up off my bed, hearing Alex sigh in the background.

"I miss you too, really. But I just can't…" I tell her as I stare into her eyes. She shuts her eyes momentarily after my response. Once she opens them I can see the frustration in them. She angrily stands them and faces me.

"Mitchie seriously! I'm growing tired of the back and forth shit. It's like one day I can see us making progress then the next you shut me out and completely change your mind. And don't you dare use my health or my past life as an excuse. I have already told you every single thing about me. And my health? I'm doing perfectly fine! I've been nothing but in good health. What is the freaking problem? Just tell me now that you don't want to be with me so I'll stop wasting my time" She shouts at me with hurt behind each word being said.

"I'm sorry ok! This is just too much for me! I'm not use to this kind of pressure. I want to be with you, honestly. But I just don't know what to do!" I shout back, mad at myself for not being able to give her a real answer because I personally don't even have one.

"You're being selfish, I laid everything on the line for you but you're just afraid of commitment. I have feelings for you and you have them back, that's all that matters, forget all the other bullshit, stop being so afraid –" She continues and I knew I was wrong in every situation. I sigh and cut her off.

"You're right." I mutter, looking down with shame.

"Damn right I am, wait what did you just say?" She lets out shocked, calming her rant. I look up at her.

"You're right, one hundred percent. I'm acting like a complete asshole because I'm afraid of the consequences of being committed." I continue and she sighs, giving me a sad expression.

"You can't always live in fear, happiness will never arrive" She whispers honestly and I nod softly.

"I know." I whisper looking back down at the ground. I feel her grab my hands causing me to look back up.

"How about this, just give me tonight. Just give me tonight to prove to you that you should be with me. That's all I'm asking for. One final chance." She whispers to me, stepping a foot closer. I stayed silent for a while, thinking it through. Then recognizing that this needs no thought to be put into. I stare into her eyes and slightly smile.

"Ok." I simply replied and her sad smile turned into a grin.

"Wait let me get this straight. So if tonight goes well you'll really take me back?" She says in astonishment. I smile and nod my head. She brings me into a hug and I could tell just how relieved she was that I was going to take her back. And for the first time, I wasn't scared about the future. Because I was just as happy as she was to know sooner or later I'd be able to call this outstanding brunette my girlfriend.

* * *

It was time to leave for the concert and my emotions were all over the place. Not only was I anticipating for the event but also what would happen between Alex and I after it.

"Are you ready?" I call out and witness Alex throw something in her mouth and swallow it with water. She then sets down a prescription bottle on the counter and faces me.

"Yup, let's go" She says, disconnecting her phone from the charger and opening the door for me to exit first.

"Do you think you'll be ok going out tonight?" I ask cautiously, knowing they'll be a lot of security guards at the concert. She sees my worried expression and nods.

"Yeah, I'll be ok. I already took my pill, don't worry about it" She says with a sincere smile.

We only had to wait about eight minutes for the public bus to get to the stop and pick us up. It was about a half an hour drive including the other stops it had to take to make it downtown. Once we got off the bus, we were happy that we're right on schedule. We walked to a nearby Subway that was also close to the arena. We bought our subs and started eating them, having casual talk at the same time.

Alex was talking about how thrilled she was for the concert and I just stared at her with deep thoughts, taking a drink of my sweet tea.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked after she finished talking. She nodded and wiped her mouth with a napkin.

"Why'd you change? Like your attitude I mean." I ask and she gave me a confused look.

"I don't understand the question" She says and I take another sip of my beverage.

"That day when we last kissed. When I walked out on you. You looked so upset at me, I didn't blame you, but not even two days after you completely changed your attitude. You didn't seem like it affected you one bit and continued to be the genuine Alex I always knew, my best friend." I said clearing up the confusion in the air. She bites her bottom lip then licks it quickly.

"I was upset at you, when you walked out. But mostly upset with myself because I felt as if I wasn't trying my hardest to get you back. I was sad for about a day but then realized that me moping around wasn't going to help anything. I didn't want to give up on you and shut you out. I want to be with you so I sucked it up and changed my attitude. I knew the first step of trying to succeed was to start from the beginning, and that was us being best friends. So that's exactly what I did." She finished off and I couldn't help but smile at her response. I didn't say anything back but wiped my mouth, throwing my napkin over the crumbs of food left, gesturing I was finished. She rushed behind me and pulled out my chair for me.

"Thank you" I whispered to her and she smiled, picking up my trash and throwing it away before I had a chance to deny. We walked out of the place and started walking towards the huge stadium.

The rush that we both received once entering the crowded seating, the yells overheard, the drums playing in the background with the light strumming of a guitar. It was better than I ever thought to imagine. Everyone was on their feet, waving their hands in the air, singing along to the amazing vocals coming from the lead singer, harmonized by the backup singing.

The song came to an end and everyone cheered. A new beat started playing and I automatically recognized the song.

"This goes out to everyone who has lost a very close person in their life. May they all rest in peace" Isaac Slade said into the microphone. He then started to ease his way into the intro of the song and it brought so much memories. I felt someone grab my hand gently. I look up to see Alex giving me a small smile, already knowing how much this song affects me. I squeeze her hand and look back up at the stage.

_"Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend, Somewhere along in the bitterness, And I would have stayed up with you all night, Had I known how to save a life…" _The chorus started of 'How To Save A Life'. I felt a tear drop fall from my eye, but then sensed Alex's thumb wipe it away. I smiled sadly at the gesture. She then wrapped her arm around me and swayed me left to right along with the crowd. I heard her singing along with the song, her voice soothed me and I started feeling at ease again, started feeling safe all over again.

"All right guys, to close off the night we're going to sing a fan favorite. I want everyone to sing along and put their hands up in the air. Can you guys do that for us?" Isaac asks and everyone including Alex and I cheered as our response. A slow piano melody began and after five seconds the cheering grew louder as all of us already knew what song they were just about to play. He started singing the lyrics to 'You Found Me' and Alex and I faced each other. She gave me a wink, squeezing my hand and started singing along to the chorus.

The band said their goodbyes and everyone clapped as they made their way off the stage. It took a while to exit the stadium since it was jam packed with hundreds of people. Alex and I made it outside and started walking hand in hand down the street, away from the Arena and all the noise.

"Did you enjoy your time?" Alex asks me and grin.

"Of course, it was amazing! Did you?" I reply while we continue to walk down the block.

"Yeah, mostly cause I was able to spend it with you" She said genuinely and I blushed. We kept on walking towards the bus stop, we were still a couple minutes away by foot. We made it to the end of the first street and I stopped for a while. She gives me a curious look.

"Why'd you stop?" She asks and I shrug, grabbing both of her hands. She looks down at the contact and back up to me.

"Thank you, once again. For always being the most amazing person I've ever met." I told her as I started playing with her fingers.

"Yeah Yeah Yeah" She drags out playfully not believing my words.

"I'm serious. You're just so wonderful that it's unbelievable. You're absolutely gorgeous and you always take my breath away. I still can't believe out of all the people in the world, you chose me." I said honestly and she smiled. We both stayed quiet and just stared at each other.

"Alex?" I call out her name nervously.

"Yeah?" She asks and I shake my head.

"Never mind." I replied, not knowing what exactly to say. I hugged her and she ran her fingers through my hair.

"No, what were you going to say? You can tell me anything Mitch, you know that." Alex whispers to me. I pull away and stare into her eyes again. I caress her cheek and decided to do the one thing I've been dying to do for a long time now. I glance from her eyes to her lips and finally leaned in and connected my lips on hers. Both of our eyes closed and I wrapped my arms around her neck as she wrapped her arms around my waist. It was a sweet long kiss that we desperately needed. We pull away and leaned our foreheads against one another. We opened our eyes and smiled at each other.

"I want to be with you… I'm sorry for making you wait so long." I whispered and she kissed me again.

"It was worth it." She whispers back and I smile again.

"But can we please take this slow…" I ask nervously and she laughs slightly.

"Of course, whatever you want beautiful" Alex says honestly. I kissed her once more, shorter than the first one but still amazing overall. I pull away from her and start walking backwards. We're both grinning at each other, Alex is trying to figure out what I'm doing. But all I really wanted to do was stare into the clear night sky. I twirled in a circle with my arms out, looking up at the stars. I could here Alex's giggles in the background.

However, in only a matter of minutes, my world turned upside down and broke into pieces. My ears went deaf and my vision became completely blinded by the excruciating white…

To Be Continued...

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_**Ahh the cliffhangers(; Next chapter will be very dramatic from start to finish so heads up xD **_

_**Please Review!(: Normally I'd want you to guess on what is about to happen but I kind of want you guys to just wait and see c(: So let me know what you thought of the chapter, please!**_

_**Clue: If you aren't already, you're going to be freaking in love with Alex by the end of the next chapter. **_

_**If I get a reasonable amount of reviews for this chapter I'll try my hardest to post Part II in less than a week(: I already started the next one so leave your comments!**_

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_**OMFG! Demi Lovato just announced The Neon Lights Tour in the US (So Far) I am so freaking out right now... AHHHH! xD **_


	25. Being A Fighter: Part II

**_A/N: Thanks for cooperating guys, and because of that, here it is, CH.25! _**

**_I am really proud on how this chapter came out, I kept rereading and editing it until I thought it was perfect so I really hope you guys like this, second installment of the last chapter (24). (: _**

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. **_

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Being A Fighter: Part II

_I pull away from her and start walking backwards. We're both grinning at each other, Alex is trying to figure out what I'm doing. But all I really wanted to do was stare into the clear night sky. I twirled in a circle with my arms out, looking up at the stars. I could here Alex's giggles in the background. _

It was a remarkable moment where nothing mattered anymore. The world revolved around Alex and I and the consequences were completely vanished from our thoughts. I just wanted to stay under the night sky and admire Alex's existence for the rest of my life. I threw my head back and shut my eyes momentarily. Taking in the fresh air, inhaling and exhaling this beautiful scene that my eyes captured.

I tilt my head frontwards towards Alex and opened up my eyes to see her smiling so exquisitely. She dug her hands into her pockets and just watched me. Watched me enter a completely different world but this time with her by my side. This was the moment I finally came to the realization that I am deeply in love with Alex Russo, there's no more denying it.

She took a couple steps to her right and leaned against the stop sign still in complete comfortable silence. I didn't move but continued to take in every little detail of the night, not wanting to ever forget it.

Least did I know, this was definitely something I was never going to forget…

I was shutting out the world around me, and Alex became the only spotlight in my vision. Everything else felt as if it went completely black and the light post near just shined on my girlfriend. She was illuminated like an angel and I fell into complete awe. I wanted to continue my appreciation for such natural beauty but I was pulled out of my daydreaming.

I see Alex shift her weight onto both legs, taking a step away from the stop sign to give me a strange look. She had a small smile but her expression was unreadable. She took out her hands from her pockets and started moving them around, I couldn't understand what she was doing. I was confused on the matter at hand. I tilt my head to the side, wanting to question her actions but no words were able to escape my lips.

My tongue was tied up and my mouth felt like it had duct tape over it, preventing me from speaking. She continued her hand gestures and then I notice her mouth opening and closing, she's saying something. At that moment, I felt completely deaf. My ears didn't function anymore because all I heard was exactly nothing. All I heard was the beating of my heart thudding into my ear, any working organ inside of me, playing loudly. My thoughts screaming in my head because I tried to say something but nothing came out.

Alex used both hands to cuff her mouth, she was obviously yelling. But this time I saw her head shift to my right and back to me in a quick fashion. I narrowed my eyebrows trying my best to comprehend the state in front of me. She looks back to my right and her eyes fling open. I see her left hand point out to the distance she kept looking at. As puzzled as I was, I tried to figure out what she was shouting about. I slowly turn my head to face my right and my vision drastically failed.

"MITCHIE WATCH OUT!" I heard Alex scream out to me, and every noise around came crashing down onto me. I made contact with the road in front of me and was immediately blinded by the excruciating white light. I couldn't tell if the light was close or far away but what I did know, was I no longer had any mobility of my legs. The shock overcame me as I stayed in place, not being able to move a single muscle.

I felt helpless as everything turned into agonizing slow motion. I didn't have the chance to look back at Alex as I saw the bright light become brighter and stronger causing me to squint, trying to shield away. Dreadful milliseconds that felt like minutes passed and my throat clogged up. Next thing I feel is my body come into a hard thud, slamming onto the half pavement and half grass. I didn't have time to notice the pain inside me as I heard the inevitable. The atrocious sound of another body colliding with a fast vehicle…

My head quickly turns to the road, surprisingly avoiding a whiplash. And I witnessed Alex's body stumbling in circles over the car, hitting the glass first then flying over the roof to crash onto the hard street.

"ALEX!" I screamed out with tears rushing down my face and my heart breaking into millions of pieces. As fast as I could, I got off the ground, adrenaline overtaking my pain, and ran to Alex's unconscious body. I kneeled down next to her and my breathing became a difficulty as my sobs continued to grow. She landed on her back with one leg bended and her arms spread out. I saw the bruises forming all over her face. I kept yelling, yelling at her body, wanting her to just wake up. It was barely understandable because of the constant loss of breath. This was my nightmare that I never wanted to face. I couldn't feel her breathing, I was no expert to tell. I was losing my mind not knowing what the hell just happened. My world crashed down on me.

I held her body in my hands, crying into her, not wanting to let go.

"A-Alex, baby p-please wake up. D-don't do this" I whispered to her, rocking back and forth. I feel a sticky warm liquid drip onto the hand that was underneath her body. I pull it out to see blood drenched upon it. I felt like I was about to have a heart attack right now. I heard a guy run up to us. I didn't notice the driver pulled over.

"Oh my god! She came out of nowhere, I'm so sorry!" The guy exclaimed and I shut my eyes, holding onto Alex even tighter.

"Call an ambulance!" I yell out to him as my tears fell onto Alex's body. I could hear the faint panic coming from the guy who's loudly speaking into the phone. I didn't bother to look at him, all I cared about was the half dead body in my arms. I kept internally praying that Alex would be able to make it through this.

I was so focused on Alex, my cries becoming uncontainable, that I didn't notice the ambulance pulling up next to us. I kept staring down at Alex, not paying attention at the men and women pulling out what sounded like a gurney. I heard the guy explaining to the paramedic what happened and then I felt a strong tug from behind me. Someone's arm was wrapped around me, trying to pull me away from Alex.

"Let me go!" I scream out, fighting his strength, tightening my embrace on Alex.

"Ma'am let go! She needs urgent assistance!" The guy says calmly to me. I didn't want to get separated from Alex but I knew he was right. I let go of her to have my body picked up off the ground and walking backwards away from her body. I saw two men set Alex's body on the stretcher and quickly pushing her into the ambulance. I got out of hold of the guys grip and ran towards the truck. I needed to be with Alex at every second of the day, I couldn't leave her, not now, not ever again.

Before I had a chance to take a step inside the truck, I get pulled back again.

"Ma'am you need to get on the stretcher right now" He tells me and I fight him from behind.

"I'm fine! Let me go! I need to be with her!" I shout at him and he refused to listen.

"You obviously have fractured ribs, you need to get treated immediately as well. Your friend will be fine" He replies, picking me off the ground to set me on the stretcher. I started screaming and kicking, not even feeling any pain right now. They held me down and tied my hands against the bed.

"No! Stop it! P-please, I need to be with her! She's my girlfriend!" I yell out in between sobs and they continued to set me inside another ambulance. I kept on struggling but the restraints on my arms and legs weren't loosening up. I slammed my head backwards with my nonstop tears. I knew I wasn't going to be able to get out.

"Please, dear god, save her. Please" I pray quietly, shutting my eyes, feeling the tears streaming down. I kept seeing Alex's out cold body in my head. I couldn't believe it. I started to kick and move all over the place, screaming out to the paramedics.

"I need to know how she's doing!" I yell out to them and I heard them whispering some medical terms to one another. I kept on trying to escape but then felt a sharp pinch near my collarbone. A needle entered me and I cried out, knowing what it was. Slowly but quickly the world started to darken out again and I fell into an unconscious state.

* * *

_"I lied" Alex states as we continue walking away from the restaurant. I stop midway and face her with a confused expression. _

_"Huh?" I let out and she sits down at a nearby bench. I followed after and sat beside her. _

_"Remember our first date in our room where we bought tacos and watched random movies?" She asked me and I smiled at the memory. I nodded my head gesturing her to continue. _

_"You know how when you asked me when I first realized that I had feelings for you and I said it was at the mall in Hot Topic. Well I lied, partially" She continued and I tilted my head to the side. _

_"It was way before that. I mean that day was when I confirmed my feelings but there was a specific moment that led me to my confusion." She said, looking up at the clouds. _

_"Yeah? And what was it?" I ask her and she looks at me with a smile. _

_"It was when we both found out how much we loved The Fray. When we were laying down, watching that awful romance movie that you thought was so cute, then their song 'You Found Me' started playing in the background. The ending scene where the guy and girl kissed each other, I couldn't stop staring at you. I was gazing at you for god knows how long, you eventually caught me but that still didn't stop the thoughts in my head. At that moment, I realized I had a strange connection with you that wasn't meant as only best friends. At the time I didn't know what it was but what I did know was that I knew from that day on, I would do anything for you Mitchie." Alex finishes off, looking back at the clouds…_

My eyes blink open, I tried to move my hands but felt it fastened onto the side of the bed. I then tried to move my feet but they were also pinned down. I hear a steady beeping coming from the machine next to me. I looked down at my body to see wires all over the place.

"Untie me!" I yell out to no one in particular, hoping someone would hear me. Then I saw a body stand up from the chair inside the room.

"Mitchie, oh thank god! What the hell happened?!" I see Dallas wiping her tears away as she brings me into a hug. I let out a loud grunt, feeling the pain circulate my body. She immediately lets go and apologizes. I look down and lift the covers to see my stomach covered with thick white rectangular bandages. I applied slight pressure onto it and squealed from the hurt, right away regretting the action. I look back at Dallas who looks scared out of her mind.

"Mom and dad didn't come?" I ask curiously and she shakes her head.

"The doctors called me cause they couldn't reach them. I haven't told them yet, I'm going to call them right now. " She says and I quickly grab her hand.

"Don't! Please. Look I'm fine, there's nothing to worry about. Don't call them, I don't want to deal with that right now" I pleaded and she gave me a sad expression. Reluctantly she nodded and pulled the chair next to the bed so she could sit down.

"Mitchie, tell me what the hell happened" She asks me and I sigh.

"Alex and I were heading back to campus—" I stopped midway and my expression fell... Alex.

"What? Mitchie…" She says and I shake my head, I feel the tears rising underneath.

"Dallas call the doctor please!" I tell her and as confused as she was, she obeyed. The doctor came inside and asked me how I was doing with the pain.

"I'm fine. Please just tell me how Alex Russo is. Take me to go see her" I exclaim trying to get out of the restraints.

"Ma'am please calm down. You can't move right now. You need to rest." He says and I shook my head vigorously.

"I don't need anything except Alex! Please just let me see her! Is she okay?!" I cry out and Dallas rubs my back in attempt to sooth me. The doctor sighed.

"She's still unconscious. I have no other information on her, she isn't my patient. I'm sorry" He says and my tears streamed down my face. I begged him to take off the restraints, telling him that they were hurting me. He eventually set me free and I fell into Dallas' arms.

"Hey, it's going to be ok. She's a fighter, I know she is" Dallas whispers to me and my sobs grew louder.

"I-It's all my fault. T-That car was meant to hit m-me but she pushed me away. Dallas, I can't l-lose her. I just can't.." I sobbed into her shoulders.

"You're not going to lose her. Have faith." She replied and my tears couldn't stop.

"Dallas, please let me see her" I ask her and she gives me a concerned expression.

"You can barely stand without being in pain" She lets out worriedly and I shook my head wiping away my tears.

"I don't care, I need to see her!" I tell her and she sighs. She was contemplating whether or not it was a good idea to let me go but I wasn't going to be fine if I didn't know how Alex was doing. She left the room for a second and came back with a wheelchair and a nurse. I could tell the nurse wasn't thrilled about my decision but Dallas and I were very persuasive. She rolled me to Alex's room and I felt my heart crack at the view. Wires were connected all around her. She had a cast on her left leg. Neck brace on her. Bandages like mine covered her rib cage that was barely exposable. She had bruises all over her cheeks, eyebrows, and top lip.

"Oh my god" I said quietly, covering my mouth to try to mute my continuous sobs. With as much strength that I even had left, I convinced the nurse and my sister to give me some time alone with Alex. They rolled me next to her bed and exited the room. I grabbed her hand and cried into the sheets.

"Alex please, please don't leave me. I'm so sorry for everything I put you through. I love you so much, I can't lose you. Please don't make me go through this again. I can't lose my best friend, my girlfriend, my everything. Please come back to me. I can't imagine my life without you in it. Please" I whispered to her. I held her hand between both of mine and placed a long kiss on her fingers. I closed my eyes and stayed like that for a couple of seconds but then the door opening up, interrupted me.

"Oh sorry, I didn't know anyone else was in here" A female doctor apologized, walking up to the bed. I looked away momentarily and wiped off the fallen tears. I didn't let go of Alex's hand and finally looked at the woman.

"Are you a friend?" She asks me as she starts writing something down on her file.

"I'm her girlfriend" I simply replied honestly with a tear rolling down. She looked at me and smiled.

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone" She says, already knowing the hidden secret. I forced a small smile and looked back at Alex.

"How is she doing?" I ask the doctor who clicked the end of her pen and dropped it into her front pocket, closing the file in her hands.

"She's stable. She's a fighter. It's pretty incredible that she survived. Anyone who got hit with that much force would have died by impact with the glass. It's a miracle. She only has a couple of broken ribs, a broken leg, and a mild concussion. She's just still unconscious due to the drugs." She replies and I tighten my grip on Alex's hand. I let out a breath of relief, mentally thanking god. I kissed her fingers again and then faced back at the lady.

"We've already contacted her parents. They should be on their way." She continues. I nod my head and she checked her pager. She said her goodbye and exited the room, probably needing to assist another patient.

It was only around ten minutes later that her parents showed up. I exited Alex's room to give them some time alone. I went back to my bed to get checked up by the nurse. She said the only thing I had to worry about were my ribs but that everything else was fine and I'd be able to be released tomorrow.

Alex's parents eventually left to rest, especially because visiting hours were coming to an end. After constant talking to Dallas, I convinced her to stay at a hotel for the night and that I'll be fine. She finally left and I glanced at the wheelchair nearby. I wanted to see Alex and I was so determined to do just that.

I lifted myself off the bed slowly, feeling each ache above my stomach. I shed a few tears as I finally made it onto the wheelchair. I wheeled myself through the pain and entered Alex's room. Closing the door behind me and situating myself next to her body. I laid my head against her arm and closed my eyes.

"I love you Alex" I whispered to her, kissing her hand. I was ready to just fall asleep in that position until I felt her body shift slightly underneath me. I didn't think much of it at first until I heard murmurs coming out of her mouth. I lift up my head to catch her shaking her head awake.

"Alex, baby, what did you just say?" I ask her, moving the hair out of her face. Her eyes caught mine and she smiled softly, still somewhat dizzy off the medication.

"I really want a taco" She whispers to me and I couldn't help but let out small laugh. I felt a tear fall from my eye. I shook my head and smiled genuinely at her.

"God, Alex you're such an idiot. When you get out of here, I promise I'll buy you all the tacos you want" I told her and she grinned.

"Yay!" She lets out and I smile at her goofiness. I struggle to stand up but ultimately I was able to place a kiss on her lips.

"I love you Lex" I whisper to her and she gives me a confused expression.

"That's nice. I'm sorry ma'am but I have a girlfriend, I can't be cheating on her. She means too much to me" Alex lets out completely high. I couldn't help but laugh and cry out of joy.

"I bet you mean just as much to her" I whisper to her and she smiles, closing her eyes, drifting back to sleep.

* * *

"She's waking up!" I hear Alex's mom exclaim causing me to wake up from my dream. I stayed in place and looked at her. She rubbed her eyes and looked at all of us in the room.

"What am I doing in here?" She asks disorderly, rubbing her head.

"Sweetie, you got hit by a car… How are you feeling?" Her mom questions. And Alex groans a little at some discomfort.

"My leg is hurting a little and I have a headache" She says and her mom quickly calls for the doctor.

"You said I got hit by a car? What do you—" She stopped before finishing as she came in eye contact with me. Right there I knew she remembered everything.

"Oh." She lets out as she witnesses a tear fall from my eyes. You would think I'd be able to stop crying by now but I just couldn't. The doctor came in and asked a few mandatory questions. He gave her some pills for the pain and exited the room.

"Hey mom, dad?" Alex calls out and they book look at her. Nodding, gesturing her to continue.

"Can I have some time to talk to Mitchie alone?" She asks and her mom turns confused. Nonetheless Mrs. Russo listened as her and Alex's dad made their way out of the room. I got up and as best as I could, walked up to her.

I was leaning on the bed side with my head down, something inside of me was preventing me from looking up at her… remorse.

My eyes were shut, but it didn't stop the watering liquid to escape underneath my eyelids. Silence was surrounding. I didn't know where to even start. I felt a warm soft sensation landing on my hand, I opened my eyes to see Alex's palm resting on mine. I moved my other hand that was behind and rested it on top of hers, gripping it tightly as if it was the only affection I was able to show at the moment. I sensed Alex's index finger under my chin, pulling my face up to look at her.

"Please stop crying…" She pleaded softly. I shook my head slowly and tightened my eyes causing a few more heavy tears to fall down. I took a deep breath and opened my mouth to finally speak.

"I almost lost you…" I whispered almost inaudibly. I took my hand that was on top of hers, and pulled it away to cover my mouth. I sobbed into my palm uncontrollably.

"Hey, look at me" Alex said, grabbing my wrist to pull it away from my face. I didn't move.

"Mitchie, look at me. I'm right here, alive. You didn't lose me." She continued, tilting my face again. Unhurriedly, I opened my eyes to look at her. It made my tears even worse.

"See? I'm fine. Stop crying please" She requested, caressing my face gently.

"Why'd you do it?" I ask her after being silent for so long. I heard her let out a forced small laugh, causing me to look up at her again.

"That's a stupid question. I wasn't going to just stand there and watch you get ran over. I already told you that I'd do anything for you." She responded nonchalantly. I shook my head and allowed a few more water droplets to plummet.

"You risked your own life Alex! For me. You almost died because of me! That car should have hit me, not you… you shouldn't be the one to deal with all the aftermath of being so badly broken." I nearly yelled out, not towards her but mostly directed at me.

"Stop that. Stop feeling guilty. Just stop." She demanded in a serious tone. With her hand that was already stroking my cheek, she wiped away all the tears that ran. She gave me a small smile and I was able to genuinely return one back.

"Don't you ever jump in front of a car ever again! The thought of not having you in my life makes me completely crazed. Please keep your promise, and don't ever leave me. You're my whole life Lex. I'm only living, with you by my side. And I'm so done with anything or anyone getting in the way of us, of this. I am forever in love with you Alex Russo, and I am the most idiotic person for not realizing it any sooner…" I honestly spilled out to her. She smiled with a small tear breaking out. Ignoring all the pain that could have happened to me, I bent over and attached my lips to hers into a breathless full of emotion and passion of a kiss.

I cuffed her face and kept my lips planted on hers. Eventually, pulling away and softly brushing our lips together. Only leaving a couple of centimeters in between us, I brushed strands of hair out of her face. While gasping for air, I looked into her eyes.

"I love you, always and forever…" I whispered delicately. Leaning in for another but short peck.

"I promise…" I finished off.

* * *

_**Let the record show that Mitchie did conclude about her feelings right before the accident. (Paragraph 3) Lmfao before you guys start bad mouthing her xD **_

_**Curse Pretty little Fiction321 who can always predict my new chapters. -.- Rawrr Lmfao but still really spot on guesses! **_

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_**Anyways, please review!(: I really expect you guys to say something on this chapter since it was all over the place Lol **_

_**Clue: Chapter 26 will be titled The Aftermath (Obviously) c(: **_


	26. The Aftermath

**_A/N: Yes, this chapter was kind of rushed, sorry for that. I just had to get a chapter out on the two week mark. More relationship fluff -ish in this, not much but oh well. Lmao sorry. _**

**_Side Note: I have started a new story called It's A Deal. If you haven't already, definitely check it out. The purpose is to keep you guys entertained when I don't have fast updates for this story. So yeah xD_**

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot._**

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**_Wish I can respond to your reviews but had no time /: Thank you for commenting though, I will respond in the next chapter!_**

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_Alex's POV _

_The act of kissing her was the most miraculous thing I can ever do. _

_She pulled away from me, it didn't affect the grin on my face, I was too happy to whine._

_She was entering her own little world, it was common for her to just do that. The smile on my face didn't vanish as she started walking backwards. Cuteness raveled her appearance when she closed her eyes, ingoing her innocence as she faced up at the night sky. I kept quiet, I didn't want to disturb her tranquility. I leaned against the stop sign and just stared at her. _

_My eyes couldn't leave her presence, happiness and overjoy was all I became. She's my girlfriend. Mitchie Torres, the beautiful, perfect, incredible human being is my sweetheart. I couldn't be more blessed. _

_An odd yet recognizable sound interrupted my trance. From the far corner I saw a regular vehicle approaching. I didn't think much of it until I realized Mitchie was still in the middle of the road. I stood up straight and started motioning for her to come over to me. _

_"Mitch, move out of the way, there's a car coming" I said calmly to her but all she did was tilt her head in confusion. She stayed in place, making eye contact with me. I kept talking to her but it was as if she couldn't comprehend a single word. Why wasn't she listening to me? _

_"Mitchie! Move!" I yelled out to her but no response. She looked like a lost puppy, I didn't understand what was happening to her. Was she still stuck in her own universe? I look to her right and see the car coming closer and faster. The driver wasn't even slowing down, he was most likely expecting her to move out the way. I thought they would notice her but they kept on coming. I started to panic. _

_She couldn't hear me. She wasn't doing anything. Was I talking in a completely different language? _

_The world started slowing down. I kept whipping my head back and forth to try to calculate how much time she had left. _

_"MITCHIE WATCH OUT!" I screamed out as loud as I possible could. In the appalling dawdling milliseconds that took place, she finally came in eye contact with the car. But I knew it was much too late. My heartbeat was racing unbelievably fast, my thoughts were haunting me. I knew what was coming. My heart started cracking when I realized in only a matter of seconds I was going to lose the person I loved the most in this world. _

_I stopped thinking. I allowed my heart to take over my mind. Mitchie was my heart and that was final. _

_Without thinking about it, my instincts acted upon myself. I could have been considered the slowest runner alive but it wouldn't have stopped me by what I decided to do. _

_I ran as rapidly as I conceivably could and pushed her entire body out of the way. I already felt the hurt inside me when I knew how much pain she would be due to the intensity of my shove. Next thing I feel is a sharp hit colliding against my body, the world started getting darker. And I was so frightened because at that instant, I knew I most likely lost Mitchie. _

"Babe…Alex, wake up—" My eyes flung open as I tried to catch my breath, I feel Mitchie's hand rubbing my back trying to calm me down.

"Are you okay?" She asks worriedly and I looked at her. She was there. She was laying right beside me in my bed. She was alive. I let out a breath of relief and finally nodded my head as best as I could. I turned my body carefully, trying not to feel the excruciating pain in my abdomen, as I laid fully on my back.

"Yeah, just a nightmare." I advised her and she just nodded, laying back down, cuddling into me.

"You sure?" She asks with doubt in her voice. I kiss the top of her head and let out a hum of agreement.

"What was it about?" She questioned slowly, worried that she probably already knew the answer. I closed my eyes and grabbed her hand from underneath the covers.

"I had a nightmare about losing you" I whispered to her, kissing the back of her hand. I opened my eyes momentarily to look up at her. She had a sad expression plastered on. These were the times that I could never fully figure out what was going through her head. The light coming from the moon, reflecting into the room allowed me to see a tear drop slowly stream down her face. I lifted my hand and wiped it away with a confused look.

"Hey, don't cr—" I couldn't finish my request as she grabbed my face and hovered over me, crashing our lips together so forcefully. The unexpected surprise made the kiss even more real. She pulled away still holding onto my face. We both tried to catch our breaths as her eyes stayed closed and mine started opening back up.

"God, I fucking love you Alex Russo" She whispered in a sultry sexy breathless tone. I smiled at her as she moved strands of hair out of my face.

"Well then don't pull away" I whispered back causing her to let out a small laugh. She connected our lips once more, and I didn't want to miss this feeling ever again. The air in our lungs was diminishing so we had to pull away. She kept her forehead leaning on mine, causing us to just look at each other's eyes.

"I love you too Mitch" I replied honestly. She smiled and gave me a quick peck, then proceeded to get off of my bed. I let out a loud whine and she giggled.

"What are you doing?" I asked her when she started picking up pillows from her own bed. She comes back over to me and starts setting the pillows underneath my leg that had a cast around it.

"You heard the doctors, you need to keep this leg elevated when you're resting" She said in a protective tone, I rolled my eyes and patted the side of my bed.

"I'm fine. Come over here and lay back down with me. It's four in the morning and you need to wake up in an hour and a half for school" I told her and she just ignored me. She entered the bathroom and quickly came out with a prescription bottle. She grabbed a bottle of water and sat next to me.

"Here drink this" She suggested and I whined even louder.

"Mitchie!" I drag out like a kid and she does the same.

"Alex! C'mon it's for your own good. It's going to keep hurting if you don't take the pills the doctor prescribed you" She advised me. I groaned and reluctantly tried reaching for the bottle of water but she moved it away.

"Nuh-Uh, here." She said handing me the pills. I threw them in my mouth and she carefully lifted the back of my head, allowing me to drink the water that she held. I laid back down as she placed the empty plastic on the desk. She finally came back over to me, and got underneath the bed covers. I wish I was able to turn and wrap my arms around her but unless I wanted to scream out in pain, it was probably a bad idea.

As if reading my mind, she turned to face me and snuggled into my side, the only one that didn't have broken ribs. I smiled at the gesture and closed my eyes, waiting for my tiredness to kick in.

* * *

I start to lift up my arms, stretching as best as I could. Letting out a small yawn as I rubbed my eyes open. My vision started clearing up and I was finally able to see the bright empty room. I look to my left to see a piece of paper on the table that had my name in big letters on the front. I lift up my broken leg carefully and moved it off the bed, letting both legs dangle as I sat up. I reached the paper and opened it up to see a small note.

_Didn't want to wake you when I left this morning. _

_Please make sure you take your pills! The bottle is in the bathroom cabinet. _

_I love you, be careful today, try not to move so much. _

_I'll stop by during my lunch period to check up on you. _

I smiled at Mitchie's note, and folded it back up, setting it aside.

After the whole accident, the doctor insisted on me staying in my room for a couple of weeks. I was able to miss school but now I'm all lonely and bored while Mitchie is in class. I'm still not sure how long this will be for due to my leg and concussion. I just hope they'll let me go soon.

I grabbed my crutches off the side of my bed and struggled to stand up on one leg. I limped to the bathroom and washed my teeth and proceeded to take my pills before Mitchie's overprotective side came out.

I laid back down on my bed and decided to listen to my IPod to keep me entertained. I started to doze off with the melody in the background. Time rapidly passed by that I was awoken by a soft mildly wet sensation on my lips. I flutter my eyes open to see Mitchie smiling at me.

"Good Afternoon sunshine" She greets as I take off my earphones that was no longer playing music. I returned the greeting and sat up to catch her holding a plastic bag.

"I bought you lunch, eat up" She said while handing me the carrier. I opened it up to see the one thing I can eat for the rest of my life.

"Tacos!" I cheered happily and she chuckled.

"How'd you know I was in the mood for tacos?" I asked and she smiled at me.

"I had a feeling" She said mischievously but I decided to shrug it off.

"Plus, when are you not in the mood for tacos?" She retorts and I nod in agreement.

"True" I reply as I take a bite of the crunchy shell, letting out a small hum of satisfaction.

"Did you take your pills?" She asked moments later. I let out a deep breath and look at her.

"Yes mom" I joke and she rolls her eyes, getting up to sit next to me. I lift the taco closer to her, silently asking her if she wants a bite. She simply shakes her head and just continues to stare at me. I narrow my eyebrows in confusion and wipe my mouth with a napkin.

"What?" I ask curiously and she just smiles.

"Nothing" She replies and I eye her curiously. I was going to open up my mouth to say something but once again she stops me with her lips pressed on mine. She pulls away and it takes me a couple of seconds to come back on earth.

"I'm not complaining or anything but you've sure been kissing me a lot, what's up?" I ask her and she laughs lightly.

"Nothing is up, I just… I don't know…" She lets out not being able to fully imply what she means. I brush a strand of hair out of her face.

"I guess I just don't want to take any moment for granted." She finishes off and I give her a peck on the lips.

"I love you" She whispers, attaching our lips again. She can repeat that phrase ten times a day and it would honestly not prevent me from receiving butterflies in my stomach. The kiss lasted longer than the last one but she pulled away once more.

"So much" She continues in the same low volume, kissing me afterwards. Her hands cuff my cheeks, while mine unknowingly was set on her thighs, gently squeezing it as the kiss deepened. In only a matter of seconds, our tongues were gliding against one another. We both didn't want to pull away. Acting as if it would be our last kiss together, with that much passion. My hands traveled upwards lightly, I could feel her shiver faintly at my touch, but I had no intentions in making her uncomfortable. My grip now remained on her hips, at the hem of her shirt, still in place.

The dim noises escaping our mouth, made my heart beat faster, if that was even possible. They were low enough for only us to hear, but still bring much pleasure to our ears. Her hands traveled to my hair, tugging it with little force.

Mitchie was obviously getting lost in our moment but I was able to regain awareness when I heard the slow short knock on the door. I could hear the turning of the knob and impulsively I acted at the top of my head. With my hands on her waist, I pushed her off the bed without even thinking. I covered my gasp when I realized what I just did, trying to contain my laughter that was not suited for the situation.

The principle came inside and Mitchie immediately went into acting mode.

"Nope it's not here!" She exclaims while patting the carpeted floor and looking underneath my bed.

"Oh hey Mr. Thomas" Mitchie stands up, dusting herself off and putting her hand out to shake his. Giving me a small glare from the corner of her eye. I smiled nervously at her and looked at the principle.

"Sorry to interrupt, but how are you feeling Ms. Russo? I've recently been informed about your accident and wanted to see for myself" He starts off.

"Oh I'm doing better" I answer him and he nods with a small smile.

"Well, I do have a purpose for visiting. I've just received a phone call from your doctor. He explained that the condition that you are in is very difficult to maintain solo. Your parents have requested personal assistance while you're off from school." He says and I open my mouth to deny.

"Oh no, I'm fine, it's not a problem" I say not really wanting a nurse with me twenty-four seven. He shakes his head and continues.

"No I insist. I spoke to your mom about having a nurse stay with you but then realized it would be too inconvenient for you and your roommate—" I nod my head.

"Exactly—" I agree.

"So both Mrs. Russo and I have decided on letting Ms. Torres assist you at all times. She is your roommate already so it will not cause any issues" He says and my mouth slightly falls open. In my peripheral vision, I see Mitchie with a smile on her face, nodding her head at me.

"How would you feel about that Ms. Torres and Ms. Russo?" He asks us and we both immediately shake our heads, trying to hide our excitement.

"I'll be pleased to assist Alex at all times but what about school?" Mitchie questions and he chuckles lightly.

"You will be excused from school until Ms. Russo achieves better health. Until then you both can help each other out on catching up on school work, it will be your responsibilities." He says and both Mitchie and I smile at each other.

"If you want Ms. Torres, I can contact your parents and notify them of this new arrangement—"

"No, no, don't worry about it. I'll call them tonight" Mitchie insists and he nods.

"Very well, if either of you need anything, feel free to contact me. Feel better Ms. Russo and thank you Ms. Torres for donating your time to help your roommate." He finishes off, walking out of our room, closing the door from behind.

"Well that's a twisted turn of events" I say with a grin and she combs her hair back with her fingers.

"I know right. So I guess you'll be seeing me every minute of the day now" Mitchie replies.

"Darn" I snap my fingers jokingly and she rolls her eyes, hitting my shoulder. I fake gasp and rub my arm causing her to chuckle lightly. I lean in to peck her lips but instead come in contact with her index finger.

"Nu-uh I don't think so" She states, turning her head the other way.

"You better be happy I caught my fall" She continues and I laugh, grabbing her hand.

"You did the same to me! It was a reflex" I defend myself and she rolls her eyes, smiling.

"Yeah but- that's different- well- um, man. Fine we're even" She stutters and I giggle.

"So can I have my kiss now?" I say as I lean back in.

"You're funny" She sarcastically says while giving me the cheek and walking to the bathroom. I throw my hands in the air and sigh.

"Fine, be that way" I say loudly so she can hear me on the other side of the door. I take another bite of my taco.

"When she pushes me off, it's fine but when I do it, it's just rude" I mutter to myself, taking a sip of my coke.

"I heard that!" She calls out.

* * *

There was low ringing coming from the other side of the room. I check underneath my covers and notice my phone wasn't near me. The buzzing continues and I finally was able to locate my phone but was too far way to reach it. Mitchie noticed my dilemma and grabbed my phone for me, handing it to me. I thanked her and answered the call.

"Hey honey, how are you doing?" My mom says into the phone.

"I'm doing fine. What's up?" I ask her

"Um we just got a call from the lawyer. He wants to set up a meeting with all of us this weekend—"

"Mom, no. I already decided that I'm not going to press charges" I interrupt her.

"What?" Both my mom and Mitchie let out loudly, shocked.

"Of course you will sweetie" My mom continues into the line.

"Damn right you are!" Mitchie says at the same time, coming up to me. I roll my eyes at both of their comments, they're similarities are too unbelievable.

"It was an accident. It doesn't matter anymore mom" I said into the phone and Mitchie gives me a stern look. My mom kept rambling into the phone and I continued to ignore her.

"Mom, I have to go. Call off the lawyer. Goodbye" I told her and finally hanged up. Which didn't make me feel any better because now I have to deal with Mitchie.

"Are you serious about not pressing charges on the driver?" She asks me and I nod my head. She stands up angrily and crosses her arms in front of me.

"Are you crazy? Why not?!"

"If I were to press charges on the guy then it would have had to be because he was about to run you over but he didn't, so it doesn't matter anymore" I reply honestly and she sighs.

"He almost killed you!" She yells out to me.

"But he didn't, I'm fine, I'm alive. I'm here with you right now. Please Mitchie" I plead for common ground. She gives me a sad smile but sits back down next to me, grabbing my hand.

"Fine, alright. It's your decision anyways. And I'll support you no matter what" She says kindly. I smile at her and peck her lips.

"Thank you." I whisper.

It was concluded that the guy behind the wheel was momentarily not paying attention to what was in front of him, obviously. He was around middle aged but overall seemed like a really nice guy. He stayed at the hospital with me until I was released. Even through all the arguments he had to go through with my parents and Mitchie, he still stayed and kept me company, apologizing every five minutes. I knew it was sincere, it was an accident. Thankfully he didn't hit Mitchie and I'm still alive till this day, that's all that matters.

He told the cops the honest truth about what he was doing at the time that kept him busy. He said he was on the phone with his wife, coming back from a night shift at his office. While being in mid conversation on his cell, it slipped out of his hold. He then tried to bend over and grab the object off the floor. It wasn't until he heard me come in contact with the glass causing the front window shield of his car to crack and dent inwards, that he realized what just happened.

I wasn't going to ruin his life for a simple mistake that so many people let happen. I don't know, maybe I am just too nice for my own liking.

A continuous knock on the door caused me to exit my thoughts.

"Come in" Mitchie called out, too lazy to walk up.

"Heyy, I hope I'm not bothering or anything. I just wanted to check up on how you're doing Alex" Harper greets as she enters the room. I smiled at her presence as she continued to come closer.

"I'm doing well Harper, thanks for asking" I respond and she smiles, nodding her head.

"I was meaning to come by a couple days ago, but you know, school and stuff has me stressed out. I had to ask around to see what's been going on with you since you haven't been showing up but no one really had an answer" She continues in a caring tone.

"Oh yeah, you won't be seeing me until a couple more weeks. Mitchie's forced to help me out too" I told her and she giggled. Mitchie just smiled and stayed silent, giving us time to talk to each other.

"What happened though?" She asks and I briefly look at Mitchie.

"Car accident, full impact" I told her, letting out the Mitchie part. No one except her and her sister know the full story, we didn't think it was the best idea to say the whole truth. I'm actually pretty surprised Dallas never thought much of it. Harper gasped lightly and looked down at my cast.

"Damn. That's rough. Well I hope you get well soon, class has been so boring without you. But I have to get back to my room before lights out. You know if you need anything, you have my number. Take care" She finishes off, reaching out to hug me as I did the same. I thanked her and Mitchie and I said our goodbyes to Harper.

"I like her. She's really nice" Mitchie lets out, catching me off guard. I nod my head.

"Yeah, she's a really good friend" I reply and she smiles.

I noticed the time on the radio, it was about to be lights out and I was already getting a bit tired. Before going to bed, I wanted to get out of these clothes and into my PJs. I sat up fully at the edge of my bed. I already had my PJs out on my desk which made it easier for me to get prepared for bed. I lift my arms carefully and tried to pull off my shirt. It became a hassle because the higher I lifted them up, the sharper the pain struck me in my sides. I tried to contain it but a low yelp escaped my lip.

Not even a second went by, that I feel Mitchie's hands on my shirt, helping me pull it off. It finally went over my head, leaving me in my bra. I thanked her but her eyes roamed my upper half naked body. I started feeling a bit subconscious and flinched at her touch when I sensed her index finger on my stomach. I swallowed deeply as they moved higher but then felt her soft touch over my ribs. She traced her finger over the newly formed scar on my abdomen. She gave me a sad expression and met my eyes.

"There will always be a story behind that scar…" She whispers dejectedly. I grabbed her hand that was placed flat on my skin and intertwined our fingers.

"A story I'd never want to forget." I whispered back to her but she shakes her head.

"A story about the thin line between life and death."

"No, a story that will forever remind me of the love of my life." I quickly responded, causing her to let out a small tear. She fell into my arms, embracing me into a tight but painless hug. I rubbed her back, closing my eyes.

"It's not about the event that occurred behind the scar, but the memories worth remembering that make it my own personal tattoo. It's not going to remind me about a car accident but instead of how deeply in love with you I am, and that you are worth everything in my life. That's something I will always be proud of." I whispered into her ear, caressing her hair.

"You're way too good for me" She said in an extremely inaudible tone, most likely not wanting me to hear. I chose to ignore it, and just pulled apart. I kissed her, hoping to shut off her doubts in her mind. Hoping for both of us to escape our disbeliefs and live in this carefree moment.

* * *

_**Eh, review? Lol**_

_**Future notice: Guys I am predicting about ten more chapters or so left till the end of this story. Some will be fluff, and of course some will be drama(; and when I say drama, I mean mother freaking DRAMA xD I will say, refer to the very first chapters of this story, and that's how this story will continue to go on as the drama part. **_

* * *

_**Demi Lovato on Glee, was amazinggg! XD just unbelievably too fucking cute. **_

_**I can't wait to attend her concert on February, ahh Neon Lights Tour needs to hurry up and come. **_

_**Anywayssss, I've come to the realization that I never speak of Selena Gómez. Let's just take a moment and appreciate how incredibly fucking attractive Selena is. Omfg. And she is rumored to take the lead role of Thirteen Reasons Why, one of my favorite books ever, which is where I got the suicide plot for this story. Ugh I can't waittt! **_


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